Check In The Dark

Links

2007-12-18T14:51:00.000Z

Now then Now then Now then,

Well a big fat merry Christmas to everyone.

I just wanted to make a note about links to the right. If i have recently been in contact with you or you have a new blog and it should be updated please be patient. I have just attempted to change these things 3, yes 3, times and each time they have not saved. The third one is in fact still "saving" although i expect that is a computer generated lie.

Fear not Compadres this will all be rectified in due course. I might ship the whole thing to this other blogging network as it looks much nicer and as we all know its all about looks. We are discouraged from supporting this claim but we all secretly know it to be true. Much like when Chandler made the claim "smoking's cool and you know it!" he was right, and they did all know it as they all smoke like dirty chimneys in their real lives. However post smoking ban, smoking is not cool. However, it does remain all about looks.

Came 4th in a 180 last night when the big stack hit everything. his Q7 vs QJ, flop QT4..river 7 his J7 vs KQ. Flop 77K turn Q. His A3 vs A7, his 55 shove caught by great little short stack player's JJ....river 5, etc etc. Fuck him. The good thing about this was i was 12th on the final table bubble and people with chips were suggesting i calmed down the raises and shoves. I was playing tight and positional to be honest and it wasn't long before i was 4th. For the first time in one of these when i have been behind, i have realised that the people with chips are definitely not better players than me, in fact they are much worse, this allowed me to continue as i was, knowing that more often than not i would be up against them with the best of it.

Now i just need to hope that my recent downswing - huge - eek - has been a rough side of variance, something i don't believe in at these limits - lol, and that i can bag a few wins and some Christmas cash.

All the best

Is Santa Real?

2007-12-04T13:03:00.000Z

I just found this on one of the headline pages of Yahoo. Cracked me up. Merry Christmas children. Mwah ha haaaa.

" ...... Christmas is hectic for all but particularly for Santa, who must live in Kyrgyzstan and make his rounds at lightning speed if he is to deliver gifts to all the world's children on time, a Swedish consultancy has concluded.

Between Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, Santa Claus's route around the planet includes stops at 2.5 billion homes, assuming that children of all religions receive a present from the jolly man in the red suit, Anders Larsson of the engineering consultancy Sweco told AFP.

"We estimated that there are 48 people per square kilometer (120 per square mile) on Earth, and 20 metres (66 feet) between each home. So if Santa leaves from Kyrgyzstan and travels against the Earth's rotation he has 48 hours to deliver all the presents," he said.

Father Christmas has long been believed to reside at the North Pole, although a number of northern towns, including Finnish Rovaniemi, claim to be his true home.

But Sweco's report on Santa's most efficient route -- which takes into account factors like geographic density and the fewest detours -- shows that he wouldn't be able to make his round-the-world trip from there in time.

"He has 34 microseconds at each stop" to slide down the chimney, drop off the presents, nibble on his cookies and milk and hop back on his sleigh, Larsson said.

Santa's reindeer must travel at a speed of 5,800 kilometers (3,604 miles) per second to make the trip on time.

Another report circulating on the Internet suggested however that Santa's sleigh, weighed down with presents and travelling at supersonic speed, would encounter such massive air resistance that the entire contraption would burst into flames and be vaporised within 4.26 thousandths of a second. "

Great Advert

2007-11-30T14:01:00.000Z

Poker and play (poker her and play? Thats not what i meant)

2007-11-30T01:17:00.000Z

So... i am really busy with this new play i am in in north London. I am officially in an off West End production. In case you don't know - West End productions are the big, big shows, musicals, Shakespeare from the RSC with Ian McKellen and Patrick Stewart etc etc. Off West End are good, respected venues where work may have the opportunity to transfer to the west end if they are a success. Finally there is fringe. Fringe theatre is valuable and has been around for years often providing a platform for newer writers, directors and actors to home their craft. This is a step up for me which is great news.

Whilst I only have a small part the play will be reviewed by all the national papers (including the Times), local London rags and such publications as Time Out, The Spectator, Metro and London Lite etc. Tonight was press night and such was very busy. I know that personally, my performance wasn't so hot tonight which was a shame, but the play as a whole ran very well. So given that the reviewers were in the play running well was the main thing although any illusions i was under about stealing the entire show have now been pushed beyond the realms of impossibility.

It is such a weird thing about being an actor. This year i had done three short films and a reading of a film script up until this October. It was such a bad year after having worked for te whole of last year. Then. from nowhere, i have the TV pilot and this play to end the year. These jobs didn't pay loads of money but they have put more credits on the CV and as far as work status goes, they have pushed me into a marginally higher bracket.

As for poker, i have not had the time to play m/any tourneys, only a couple of sng's. Instead i have been playing a few disciplined cash sessions at the nosebleed heights of the 10c/25c tables. I am not actually rolled for this but have had a great few days. I dropped an entire stack with AA (first hand of the session) against a twats 96 off suit but knew i played bad and once i accepted that i just moved on. I also ended that session up half a buy in so had made it all back. Also, with regards to the roll i am just not going to put myself in a stack flip situation. I am pretty sure i am a better reader of the game than i was a year ago and am also playing better hands (no more ace rag out of position....well....maybe sometimes) and i also think i recognise the strength of my hands a bit better. by this i mean i am not going to pay anyone off with just top pair like i might have impatiently done in the past. So this last 3 days have seen me run $70 up to $185 and i have just withdrawn $85 which is great cos i have overspent this week (currently trying to adhere to a budget for the first time in forever. I have just never really had to before. This did not stop me visiting Diesel, Urban Outfitters, Carharrt and Stussy yesterday, i would have bought but just didn't see anything i really liked. Plus the holly jolly Christmas time is just around the corner and there are more important people than myself to spend my NO money on)

Gl everyone

patience and selective aggression are the keys to the game!

Dail A Dealer

2007-11-30T01:02:00.000Z

Hey up folks,

Check out the link on the left for http://www.dialadealer.com/

In case you cannot imagine what they do or can't use the link above, here is what they have to say on their site.

"Enjoy playing poker at home but don’t like the hassle of self-dealing? Want to run a sophisticated poker night to entertain clients or impress your mates?

Dialadealer.com will do this for you. We will provide top specification tables, chips, cards and most importantly professional dealers for your poker night, at a venue of your choosing. We will provide a sheen of exclusivity to your poker game, and it couldn’t be easier to arrange."

They offer different packages if you want a home game, or something for a do at work. They can even organise a beginners lesson style game for you if some of your mates are beginners and you want to give them a slight heads up before taking all their money.

They also provide everything, the chips and cards, the table and chairs. You just need a venue and some friends.

Enjoy!!

Well disguised consumerist brag post and reality TV - too far??

2007-11-19T17:31:00.000Z

Hey up dudes.

As you know i love films and as such whilst feeling particularly flush about 2 years ago i bought a 42" Panasonic plasma and a Denon 5.1 surround sound system. Its an awesome setup and at the time there was no better system available pound for pound. Love it.

This system has built in freeview which is very handy when you live in an flat with a analogue signal that a that a third world orphan would find laughable. The freeview in turn has its own guide built into it which i often browse for programmes of interest. Usually documentaries, comedy, films etc. It was just now that I stumbled across a programme the likes of which i have never before seen on our screens. I actually like reality TV, "I'm a celebrities Big Brother that can't cook won't cook in Hell's Kitchen Nightmare" I'm all for it. A lot of actors hate these programmes as they "take away jobs". They say this on the grounds that by not making dramas and putting in this shit instead, there are less jobs available. I am of the mind that this is not the TV companies fault but rather the British publics obsession with celebrity and the old rule of business supply and demand. If there was no demand they would not make these programmes. They could not as they would not be watched. All they are doing is pandering to the audiences wishes and they love it too cos these things are cheap to make.

Anyway, the programme that caught my eye is on tonight (19/11/07) on BBC3 at 10.30 pm (repeated at 1.25am should you miss it) and has the superb title of "Can Fat Teens Hunt". The title amused me but the synopsis cracked me up...ahem

"Can Fat Teens Hunt
1/6. Ten dangerously overweight teenagers spend one month with the Iban tribe in the harsh and remote jungles of Borneo (!). Very strong language and upsetting scenes"

Upsetting scenes??? - i'll fucking bet there are. Hahahah

best result in ages

2007-11-16T21:32:00.000Z

I am laughing to say that my best result in ages is to bubble in a 180. But that was me tonight 19th when my Aces were no good.

I had just gone from second to 6th somehow i don't remember exactly how that happened. Then i take a huge hit. I limp in the sb with A6 diamonds and the flop comes AJ4 - i check and the early position limper bets. I raise 3.5 times his bet and he calls. Turn is Ten. Which is a danger card but i think i am good. I bet he calls. The river is a 6. 2 pair for me and i shove. He calls with pocket tens and wins. That was pretty sickening as i saw the river and thought if i wasn't ahead before, i am now. Alas.

The last hand was me now on about 7k and i raise about 1800 in mid position with AA. I am called in the big blind. The flop is J9x with 2 spades. I bet small he check calls. I have already decided that i am trying to get value out of this hand. The turn is the K and it goes check check. The river is a low spade and he bets. I only have 4k left and his bet is 3k. I can't fold and put the rest in. He flips over ......

37 spades

Three...

Seven.

What the fuck?????

I literally screamed at my computer screen. I don't think i can take it anymore. Don't get me wrong, I'm not suicidal but i am seriously fucked off. I suppose i am to blame for misreading both hands to a certain degree but Jesus Christ. If i am check raised on a AJ flop and hold TT i need to fold. If i hold 37 suited to a raise i really am not able to call in bad position. Bunch of cunts.

Also

2007-11-16T15:05:00.000Z

Whilst you are in Blockbuster renting the films that i recommended in the last post, why not also rent the excellent "She's So Lovely". It stars Sean Penn (excellent), his wife (in real life) Robin Wright Penn (soo hot), John Travolta and Harry Dean Stanton. Also check out "Cecil B Demented", a very silly and different film from the crazy mind of John Waters (who also made the brilliant "Serial Mom" starring the lovely Kathleen Turner).

As for poker, well i'm at my lowest point financially so i am simply not playing as much. I hate playing for really small amounts. I just donk off money cos i don't care enough about losing my $5 buy in whilst sitting there for an hour or 2 at a cash table or a full ring sng. So i am playing the new (ish) heads up Horse Games which are going well and are more interesting to play. I can't lose if i'm honest. Ha. These are then, in turn, paying for me to fuck up in the 4.40/180's. I can handle playing these because at least there is a significant payoff should you come 1st to 3rd. The main problem with these is my patience levels and opponents idiocy. I'm sure there must be a mathematical formula for time spent in a tournament (t) vs impatience (i)vs density of opponents (morons). There more players there are, the more decisions and coin flip situations you have to survive so the amount of variance is significantly greater. If you are impatient as well you might as well not play as you need every part of your mind working for you.

I am definitely not in the poker mindset at the moment but i am not gonna stop. Although it certainly does seem like i am a different player completely to the one who rolled up $1k on the cash tables and won 650 dollars in a week in the 4.40/180's. What happened?

Acting and good films

2007-11-13T15:26:00.000Z

In case you wonder what an unemployed actor does all day, here is an insight.

-Get up late. Always. Unless you have a job or a meeting to go to.

-Cup of tea and glass of orange juice.

-Learn lines if there are any to learn. Better to do this now whilst your head is clear and before -other things get in the way. Food, tv, girlfriend etc.

-Take care of stuff. Shopping, banking, bills etc.

-Food. Not much. If you are sitting around all day you don't need to eat like an American.

-Enjoy the afternoon. Rented films. My own DVD's. Write stuff (own ideas etc).

-Check jobs online. As a member of several casting websites which are mostly shit, but even though they are you sort of have to be a member otherwise you might miss the one decent thing. Also, if you are not a member, are you doing anything to advance your own career other than watching actors in films you would rather be in?

-Read the news online.

-Prepare for and make dinner for arrival of lovely girlfriend. Relax and watch films/TV together.

Anyway. Here are some of the films i have seen recently that i would actually recommend. I am a harsh critic and have not even memtioned half the films i have seen as they are just distinctly averge.

You should see

The Persuit of Happyness - emotional "American dream" story with Will Smith and his real life son. Beautiful.

Zatoichi - early 90's martial arts movie about a blind samurai.

Il Postino - beautiful italian movie about...a postman...funnily enough

Breaking and Entering-written and directed by Anthony Minghella starring Jude Law, Juliet Binoche, Robin Wright Penn and Martin Freeman. Set in London. Well paced, nice story, emotional.

Reign Over Me - Adam Sandler, Don Cheadle, Jada Pinkett Smith and Liv Tyler. Sandler plays it straight in most of this film and it has a very enjoyable and emotional journey.

You should avoid

eXistenZ - like the plague. I saw Breaking and Entering and decided to see more Jude Law and Robin Wright Penn films. I searched and got this. Its so bad. I saw the cast list - Law, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Ian Holm, Christopher Eccleston and Willem Dafoe. I saw that list of talent and was very excited. Within the hour i had fallen asleep and turned it off. Utter gash. What a waste.

As for poker

COMPLETE SHIT

Why is it?

2007-11-08T01:38:00.000Z

Why is it that i go on such a hot run and think i have this game sown up and then crash so badly i wonder how i ever won anything in the first place?

why is it i cannot find any motivation to write a blog let alone read other peoples?

why is it i can barely find the energy to promote and advance my own career? How will i feel in 2 months when i have to jack in this lazy boy lifestyle and return to work and have to find energy to accomplish tasks for someone i detest.

why is it short stacks call all in with Q3 and hit?

why do i feel so depressed?

why is it that i just broke the "why is it" pattern on that last sentence?

will i ever get the breaks i need or will i be stuck in this rut forever?

who can say

i wish they would let me know so i can start making alternate arrangements

Qoote of the day...

2007-10-17T14:56:00.000Z

"Phil Hellmuth has got a weird look on his face, like a...shy ostrich who's looking to mate"

Gabe Kaplan - High Stakes Poker Season 4 Episode 8 - www.pokertube.com

Crazy Dayz

2007-10-13T22:56:00.000Z

Had such a surreal experience today that i would like to share. First of all let me say cheers to the comments on the last post. I hope you all know that i realise that these clowns are the money donators long term and that we need them. However in a tournament situation i find it difficult to think like that, given that i am out and they are in with my chips and I have very little chance of seeing the little fookers again! Seriously though, it was written immediately after busting, red faced, and like someone pointed out was very much a vent post.

So to today. Yesterday my Dad and his wife, who are currently in Europe from their home in Canada, arrived back from Italy where they had been visiting family in and around Rome. This meant that i welcomed them back to my London pad so they could stay the night before heading off to Devon today. I was presented with pasta, wine, prosciutto and a monster block of Parmesan so all was good in the world. Oh yeah!! I was also given a "Three Titty Cookie". When they told me they had brought a "Three Titty Cookie" i was like "Ha ha, yeah, good one. That's obviously one of those things that gets lost in translation. Means one thing here which is rude and another thing there which isn't rude" etc etc. They were my thoughts until after dinner i was given a white bag and pulled out what can only be described as a gingerbread woman (although it turned out she was more just bread than ginger bread) and there for all to see in the centre of her chest were a row of 3 breaded breasts! Complete with breaded nipples!!!! I couldn't believe it and it cracked me up. I just tried to google image a picture for you but can't find one. I suggest you try to find one by using the google image search engine and the term "three titty cookie", to see the most bizarre array of breasts, cocks and flour based baked confectionery you are ever likely to see!!

So we had a good evening and they planned to leave today after i took them out and they treated me to lunch somewhere posh. We had to make a stop first though at a branch of Europcar to sort out some detail regarding their car. They had requested a Golf TDI but had been given a Jetta. In the hurry to get back from the airport last night they had paid for the deposit on the wrong credit card. The correct card gives them travel insurance which covers motoring abroad. Given that they were to make a longish journey today, they wanted to get it sorted out before they left.

So we set off to Putney. Europcar is right by the station at Putney Bridge. Except when we got there we had come round the wrong way and were now facing a "emergency only" one way road. This short narrow road had a bollard either end and the one nearest us was folded down, whilst the one at the other end remained up. I suggested we drive over the one that was laying down, as nothing could come the other way, to pull up in front of their office, where the door was clearly open, nip in and ask the best way to their car park. This seemed sensible given that the road we came in on was the exit road for all the double decker buses from the train/bus station and this would get us out of the way. So at about 3 miles an hour we pulled towards this bollard.

All of a sudden, without the faintest hint of a scrape, bang or anything, there was a huge bang. My ears shot through with a piercing ring as a result of the noise. I could hardly see anything as the car was full of smoke. It was such a surreal vision my description really doesn't do it justice. My dad shouted for us to get out of the car. He thought the car was going to blow up. It became almost immediately clear that there was nothing wrong with the engine. What had happened, for a reason that still remains unclear was that the airbags had suddenly deployed. Filling the car with their foul smelling talc-like smoke. The air bag had smacked me in the chest and my dad was bleeding from his arm where it had caught him. Looking at the picture in my minds eye now it was like something out of a war movie. Like we just got bombed or something. Lol. It did actually make me think about the war. I was pretty shaken up and my dad was actually worse. How the hell must these guys and girls in the desert cope with it constantly? Fookin scary.

Anyways, we went into Europcar and the guy, despite having been closed for half an hour already, stayed and sorted us out with a RAC rescue. After a lengthy wait and dealing with all the cocks that stopped every 2 minutes to hear us recount the tale of "What happened?" we were picked up. My dad and his good lady were taken to Heathrow where they were given a free upgrade and told that the car will be fully investigated. There seems to be no blame aimed at us, which is correct, but i am going to contact VW and see if i can get a free car! (or a t-shirt) My head hurts a lot and my right ear is right fucked but i am sure it will be okay and the two of them made it safely to Devon.

The last time i was in an incident like this was about a year ago. A group of "the lads" got in an old, small, "Nova" style car and headed off ooop north, home to a house party in Leeds. No sooner had we opened our beers (not the driver) and made it onto the motorway out of London, pulled nicely into te fast lane when BANG. Huge bang and suddenly strangely dark inside the car. It turned out they had filled up before we left and checked the oil and water. When we picked up speed on the motorway the air pressure was too much for the bonnet that had not been closed properly. The bonnet flew up and, catching the wind, blew back and bent right over, smashing and attaching itself to the windscreen blocking the drivers view completely. My fast thinking companion lowered himself in his chair so he could see under the small arch of windscreen that was left visible below the curve of the bonnet whilst slowly breaking. The car behind us knew something was wrong and slowed right down also. We eventually stopped on the fast lane of the motorway and got out, some still with Carlsberg in hand to assess the damage. Eventually we got it off the road and once the driver had shaken it off, we resumed thoughts of how to get to Leeds. We called bus, train and plane companies; no dice. The rescue dude said that a replacement was a no go for at least 24 hours. In the end we came to the un-unanimous agreement that we should drive it home smashed windscreen and all as that was where the car's insurance was registered. 200 miles with a fully shattered windscreen later, we arrived at their house, parked the car and got straight in another one to go to the party. That was the night the Police turned up after a neighbour had come round with a baseball bat....but that's another story....

What a day. It's no wonder i never go outside

Now i'm steamed

2007-10-11T18:48:00.000Z

I lost everything on Stars too. Went out bought stuff for the house. Cleaned up. Had a long shower and came back refreshed and played... exactly the same. What a donkey. The only saving grace was the fact that i was second in a 4.40./ 180. Then i just ran into the biggest army of donkeys i have ever witnessed in my life. I have seen some donkeys, but this was summink else! As you should know i rarely blame things on other people but when you saw these plays....Oh my god my face is actually red hot!!

I raised in first position as the big stack and AK of hearts. A numpty who had just limped and reraised from first position with 22, shoved all in. I knew i was calling. I made a straight with the board's 2345. Unfortunately he had made the play with 66 so has a higher straight. I tell him i gave him the benefit of the doubt with the 22 as it may have been a clever play that went wrong. "Now though", i tell him, "i am convinced you are an idiot". He says "i put you on AK". Ahahahahahah. This is fucking hilarious. This, translated from a low limit player, means; "i hoped you had AK as that is all i stood a chance against FOR ALL MY CHIPS". He says he wanted chips for the final table and could i blame him. I said yes. With 66 and my stack, for all your chips, with half the table still to act. Yes i could blame him. Who the fuck else was i expected to blame?? The irony of this of course was that this put him on 28k, and by the FT he had 18k and had dripped 1/3 of his stack by playing like a cunt.

Later some dude raises the cutoff minus 1 with 37off suit and calls the short stacks reraise all in. He then calls my raise from his bb. I have the button and 33. The flop is 89A he shoves. I am pretty sure he doesn't have it but i don't need to be a hero. He shows me Q6 off suit. I then lay into him. He asks me what my biggest cash is. I say "tourneys? not much, 500 or so". He says "well i regularly cash for 500+ so stop teaching", or something retarded. I say i am not teaching but he could fucking do with some lessons. Cock. I check his Sharkscope - 600 games - minus 30% ROI - minus $1k profit. OK that's his sit and go results and his graph looks like a ski slope. From the top looking down of course. I then check his OPR, tournament results. 35 tournaments. Loads of $1 entries. 3 cashes in 35 games. Biggest $9. Ha! What a plum.

Later I raise ep, whilst harping onto this cunt about bad play and the shot stack calls all in. Ok. He has 56 off suit. I laugh. Then he makes quad 5's on the turn. I stop laughing.

What the fuck is that?? Do people honestly pay no attention to the hands that are played and what i am saying about playing good cards vurses spastics? Even if they do, how is 56 ever a good call. Is he hoping i raise 34. Ha! Anyway this piece of shit made it to the final table.

Any way i go card dead and see 84 off suit and just drip blinds and antes. We got to the final table and i have 10bb's and shove AJ in early. I know i am fucked when i am insta called in the seat to my left. He has AK. What cracks me up though (not at all actually) is the fact that Mr Call 56, calls after the shove and the insta call. He calls all in again with QT suited. AND MAKES 2 PAIR TO TAKE THE MAIN POT.

Fuck off

What a difference a day makes

2007-10-11T15:43:00.000Z

Well, as per normal i forgot my plan for world domination on the Party Poker tables and didn't start my "all day session" till very late afternoon. Idiot. When i did start i very soon wished i never bothered as i played like a donkey and ran even worse. i am not going to blame anyone or anything other than myself but i lost almost everything back to the tables. I have about 20 dollars left on there but seriously lost 5 mini buy ins in record time. AQ suited vs AK all in on a 2 heart flop with 2 overs and the nut flush draw called by A high and not improving etc etc. To be honest the way i was playing today was just not as considered as yesterday. Yesterday i was fearless as i only had 10 dollars but raised and shoved when i thought i had the best of it and rolled it up nicely in about an hour. Today i just shoved erraticly into bigger stacks who didn't fold or simply ran into better hands. I guess that was to do with running and playing well yesterday and just EXPECTING to do the same again today.

I am honestly pissed off with myself. For some reason i couldn't withdraw any when i went there this morning and now have nothing to show for it. I wasn't gonna withdraw it all, just a bit along with half yesterdays winnings from PokerStars. Together it would have made about fifty squids. I didn't want to withdraw it all as i had this vision of playing well and making up a decent roll again. I just hope now that i can contue to run well on Stars and hopefully we will have the whole operation up and running again by breakfast tomorrow.

GAYYYYYY BAR!!

oh yeah - with regards to yesterdays posting about Poker X Factor and their dumb password retrieval system; last night i filled out a form on their site and sent it off and i had a response back today. Fantastic. The funny part is the response was not automated and was sent by a guy called Paul. It was Paul's job to remind me of my ridiculous password. I have strange passwords everywhere (20 poker accounts, 2 email addresses, 6 casting sites, 4 bank accounts etc) but this one is very silly and very embarassing. How could i forget that one?! Lool - cheers Paul- don't tell anyone!

Just spell checked - the first post ever not littered with yellow mistakes woo.

Party Joker(s)

2007-10-10T16:22:00.000Z

Hey up

Today i opened me email (no postal strike there) to find 10 dollars from the people at party poker. Last time i was there was about a year ago where i rolled up 25 dolls into a thousand before losing a few hundred, getting scared and fleeing with the money. Today i have been at the site for about an hour and sitting with $10 at the 10-25c - 6 max tables, turned it into $75. Holy shit it was easy! I did hit some cards and catch some flops but i was folding a lot and people just didn't seem to fold when i was deciding to play. Great for me, bad for them.

Now i don't know what to do. Its 30 quid for free. Not really enough to withdraw, but times are very hard these days. A job?? yes i should get a job. Very clever. But lets not talk about that for a moment. I think i should just try and roll this up as best i can and make smaller withdrawals as and when i can. If i run like i just did (which is impossible) i will be rich be Monday. Woo

I realised something today. That is that i really don't play session poker. I tend to sit down for an hour or 3 and play. I have never (unlike Brian Townsend) sat down for 14-16 hours and played all day. I wonder what would happen. Rags or riches? i wonder....hmmm. Free tomorrow?? Of course. Play all day? Maybe i will.

After my brothers recommendation i have just bought a Tiger Woods golf game for my PS2. Its ace and may well keep me off the pokes when i should be trying to earn some money. I got a really old version from Game or somewhere for £4. Apparently the new one is just out but i thought I'd spend this little bit of money to see if i liked it first.

Today i actually had the intention of watching a load of poker x factor videos but i can't remember my password. At about 11am i requested the reminder thingy and sat with my email open doing other things. Nothing. I requested it again and again. Nothing. It is now 5.30pm. Personally i think that is very bad. I am a dissatisfied customer.

Good luck at the tables. Lets hope there are 12 tonnes of fishies logged in tomorrow. We are going to war. (Not really war - obviously - just watching 300 on DVD and getting a bit feisty)

Oh yeah. As you may remember (probably not) i went for a part a while ago for a pilot episode for a TV show. I got the part and met my band members. We have recorded our first single and the video and from the 18th of this month we are shooting the pilot. Read the script the other day. Very funny. Keeping the old fingers crossed that it turns out well.

Good luck my little lamb chops

why am i still up??

2007-10-06T01:07:00.000Z

I am in a huge field tournament. The buy in?? Good question. 50 cents. Yup, Half a dollar or approximately 25p! Lol high stakes. I shall try to explain...

I guess i am still up because I just love the night time at the moment and am obsessed with poker. I am also just starting Season 2 of Alias. Its actually quite a formulaic show but i love it, plus Jennifer Garner is so hot it's crazy. I watched about half of Daredevil or Elektra or whatever and was like "meh", and now, i love her.

After losing that money yesterday ( like a moron) i logged into my bank and assessed the state of my funds. Bad. I decided that after recent cash outs i would allow myself $50 back to get me in the game. Not the BIG game obviously, that's not enough money, tut! In the end i just bought in enough for 3 - 4.40's after Rizen said that is what he would use to build a roll if he went broke. Also because i know i can do OK in these games.

Game 1 - to say i had 3 attempts to make money i fucked this up good and proper. I played wayhey too loose. Really pissed someone off when i dropped to 1k in chips and called the rest all in on a 3 - 1 shot with J4 suited. I flopped the J and the 4 flush and hit on the river to beat his kings. I then reraised all in with 33 and ws called by JJ. I'm an idiot

Game 2 - Finished 18th just in the money. I called raise in the bb from a mid position raiser. I had 33. The flop was 757 which i shoved. He called with kings. If i win that i am a contender as it was i was a marginal stack and now have 2 buyins again.

Game 3 - i lost a pot with KK very early i had reraised strong pre flop and got called the flop came ATx and i was chk raised. I folded. As you know, when you only have 1500 chips it is not that forgiving of an early mistake/outdraw. I shoved JK suited and got called by a player for all his chips. He had A4 off suit. He won.

Game 4 - 4th. Decent. Made my 3rd laydown of kk on the flop in 3 tournaments. Pretty infuriating. You see kings 4 handed and just go "kerching" today i just kept having to fold them on A high flops. After that i went 4th place and basicall decided it was all in or out time. I started shoving decent hands and shoved an ace from the button and was called by a bigger one. I hit my kicker and paired on the flop and the turn gave him his queen. I have noticed this a lot on PokerStars, i say its the home of the suckout resuckout. They apparently would rather go with the catchphrase "where the stars play poker". Agree to disagree.

I was then reading Tillerman's blog and he referenced the Jesus challenge. I looked at the tracking of Chris Ferguson's money and was inspired to start my own challenge. Hence the low limit tourney. I headed off to the micro limit cash games and lasted about 3 buyins before calling it a day. Reraised pre flop with KK - called - flop 984 - called - turn 5 - i shove all in - called by T8 - river 8 - nice. It went on. I was just going "lol nh" for about 30 minutes before i had to go. And i was just doing really well in this tourney until i started writing this and now i busted there too. Open ended straight draw me into top pair Q with a ten kicker. I thought he might fold. HAAAAAAA!!! Thought he might fold. What was i thinking!!!

To be honest, i believe you would have to have the patience of a saint (or Jesus) to complete this challenge and I'm already at $30 (what i am allowing myself to start with), he said the hardest part was getting to $6. Clearly I'm fucked.

Oh yeah

2007-10-05T13:14:00.000Z

Don't look at the link below if you do not have a few hours to waste. And I do mean waste.

www.addictinggames.com

I'm Sorry

One of those days

2007-10-05T12:06:00.000Z

Hey up peeps

My God! yesterday was tough.

I was bashed about from pillar to post. Winning money, losing money. It was savage. I don't mind sharing with you that i came out in the red. I basically blew what i had left in my account. This is possible, by the way, as i continually withdraw from my poker account to pay for things some people would consider more important, hmmm, you know, like rent. £50 here and there, you know. Anyway i decided to put $25 on a cash table and within the space of an hour or so i had tripled that just through playing whilst lying down watching telly, ahhhhhh! I was just playing the cards and avoiding a huge pot unless i was sure i had the best of it. Happy days you might say. Well, it was not to last my poker friends. The money remained till yesterday. I sat with the first 25 and lost a couple of small pots and topped up to 25 again (as you should). Then in between winning some and losing some, i lost with KK to AA all in pre flop. 1 buy in. AK to KK all in on a K rag flop. JJ vs KQ spades on a 462- 2 spade flop - turn T spades and i am dead. AQ to AT etc. It just was endless. I was cool though. I was severely pissed off having lost, but not tilted like i might have been. I get tilted more when i see someone flip up J5 off suit. These were just tough breaks. I may have saved some money along the way, but i am not good enough, basically. Lol.

There was one hand in particular which i just remembered. There was a raise in mid position, i the cutoff called, i called on the button with Q9 clubs, the small blind called and the flop came KTJ. I have flopped the 2nd nuts. Beauty, and better since the nuts would be AQ and i have a Q so the chance of someone holding AQ is reduced. I wonder if you can guess where this is going?? So the sb bets the flop, the cutoff calls and i shumbolita all over the place (ahem, i mean i reraised all in, sorry about that, i don't know what happened) the sb insta calls with AQ. Nice job me. So bad.

The thing is that i know another day i would get called in the exact same situations, my 2nd nut shove would get called by AK for example and the AA vs KK all in pre, i could easily be up against AK. I was listening to bel0wab0ve on one of his PXF videos saying unless he has an extremely good reason to think the guy has aces he no longer folds KK pre flop. I tell you this, my fine brethren, if he isn't folding how the fook am i supposed to.

I also recently read, if you are in a pot and flop a set, get some heat from another player and fear they may have flopped a higher set, you are in the wrong game. Ie poker ain't for you. So that's it folks. Don't fold kings. I know most of you don't, even by the river, lol and push your sets hard.

Final thought - In a separate "bel0w" related moment. In a tourney he flopped a set of 666 on a flop with several draws on it. He very calmly said "obviously I'd go broke on this flop" ie he was gonna push it and if he got out drawn, so be it. In the same tone he flopped a K, with AK on a KQx flop and checked it to the caller, saying he won't go broke with just top pair on this flop.

Good luck homies

Got me thinking

2007-10-03T12:15:00.000Z

Hello sports fans

Last night i was once again up until ridiculous (sp?) o'clock taking on the huge field of the PokerStars, midnight, $10, whatever guaranteed. I finished 350th ish of 2500 or so. I don't know, who cares?! No money, blah. I busted after a player limped in late position, the small blind minimum raises and it is to me in the bb. Now i have AQspades. I decide he is weak or else he would raise more than min. I decide he has cards decent cards that he wants to see a flop with. His bet is 800, i make it 2000 as i want the other guy out and want him to call more money with a worse hand. The late player folds and he calls. All good so far. The flop comes 9TJ. I have 2 overs and an open ended straight draw a back door flush draw and more chips. He bets 1000 ish and i shove. He insta calls me, all his chips with AT clubs. He holds with second pair and i am down to the felt. I split a pot with A3 when i shove the next hand, i call a raise all in with AK and double up. Some dumb bitch gives me 5 minutes till i am out. I tell her i don't give a fuck and she should shut he pie hole. She tells me i am sad, as sad as those programmes about starving Africans. I tell her that that is impossible as i am as fat as fuck (not true ladies!) and that if i sat on her she would be dead. She then said i was chat blocked as she was "to" intelligent for me. That just cracked me up and the silly bitch had untilted me through the power of my winning the banter war. I then shoved k3 - she insta reshoved with 44 - the board paired and counterfeited her- fantastic -then i shoved 33 and was called from the blinds by 99. Ball sack!

Anyway, the reason for this post is to do with an old post i wrote and an article i just read. The article is in this months Poker Player magazine (link right) about bankroll management. This is a good article and will be on their website shortly if it isn't there already. It was basically discussing good bankroll strategy, the stuff we all know, 5% of roll for cash tables and 2% of roll for stt or mtt's, etc. But here is what i thought was interesting. It said you don't need BR management if you are playing for fun, letting off steam etc. If you have serious poker ambition then it is vital to succeed. (although there are others whose recklessness, or educated gambles has got them to their position now). Another interesting point is that bankroll management is only going to work IF you are a winning player. The percentages risked each game are offset by the long term profits you will make IF YOU ARE A WINNING PLAYER. If you are not a winning player then no matter how good your BRM is you will still lose. So my point here links back to a previous post on variance. The post said something along the lines of;

we all experience variance, when your T7 loses to KQ on a KT7 flop etc, today it lost but more often than not it will win. So often i am on different blogs, forums, sites etc where variance is the reason for the losses. It is undoubtedly true that the complainers do suffer from varience, but thay also suffer from making bad plays over and over again yet this "pro term", a term to describe a winning players run of bad luck is often to blame from any player no matter what their current limit is.

This links to the BRM thing. It is all well and good harping on about percentages and number of buyins but if you are not a good player you may as well just forget it and rebuy until you can no longer afford to play. The magazine literally says if you are a losing player you may as well ignore it and risk everything as tday may be your lucky day.

One thing i have always been about this game is honest (except when in a hand, obv). It is important to me to be honest with myself about monies won or lost, plays made, good and bad, as well as how my overall game is, otherwise how else can i improve. One thing i am not going to do is say i can beat a game when i can't. My ROI over 600+ tournaments is currently something like 19/20%. This is not great but it is improving. If my results are bad and i am losing money, i may as well just play at the play money tables and take the occasional shot at a tournament and practice no BRM. Whats the point if i am a long term loser anyway? Lol - a long term loser.

My final thought is - it is great to read abut poker and improve your game, to implement strategy and to progress through the levels. But don't forget that the experience of playing and REALLY paying attention is important for learning too. "Poker strategy - no matter how good - is no substitute for years of experience". A lot of low limit players, myself included, just haven't logged the serious hours, equating to years of game time. I have played for nearly 2 years. (It was meant to be going better than it is by this stage - lol). BUT, the first month i was logging on and buying i didn't even know what beats what. $50 gone? Rebuy! Also don't forget that a lot of the strategies are designed to be long term winning plays and don't account for the random plays of the NL$25 tables. Harrington is great, but how well is a hand analysis from the final table at the WSOP going to help against a player who can't fold second pair in a $5 stt. BRM is crucial to getting further if you are seriously considering this as a profession, but if you're not, you just play for a hobby, or if you are a long term loser, then who gives a shit, as long as you can afford it.

Enjoy yourselves you lovely people

Dan

Yawn, another cash

2007-10-02T22:16:00.000Z

PokerStars 6pm (GMT) 5k guaranteed $5 buy in. Just finished 161st of 2099 players for a meagre $13, ha!

Closing hand, ep raises called, i call, with QT spades. Flop Q67 - 2 spades. I check raise all in on the flop and get called by 67 of diamonds. That was all she wrote when no improvements were to be found.

Also had a terrible day today with my other games. Felt really positive and just shafted. Shoved a K high flop with AA called by KQos, all in. Turn Q. All in with KK on an 8 high flop, turn 8. They are 2 that busted me from tournaments and that particularly memorable. But trust me, it was a cruel day.

Hope you are having better luck than me at the tables.

TheV0id

2007-10-02T09:32:00.000Z

Congratulations to "TheV0id" for winning the main event - event 23 at the WCOOP on PokerStars. I just visited official poker rankings and checked his stats. He has played one tournament. That one. So the buy in was 2.5k and he won 1.2 million. ROI through the roof!! LoL. I also read he is from the UK so good work especially given the all nighter you pulled.

I watched some of this tournament as it was interesting to watch the pros play the little hands. I watched some of Humberto and Raymer but mostly watched KidPoker. He busted after seeing a Kxx flop. The pot was raised pre he had called the button had called. The flop was bet the button reraised 25k, all of negreanu's chips. Daniel said "so you're saying i'm beat lol", his timer was running down and he said "KQ yeah?", he then thought for ages before saying "i'm gonna pay you like a donkey" and called with KJ. His opponent did indeed have KQ and Negreanu was reduced to the rail but not before someone said "what are you doing?" and he said he was tired. Must be tough sat at your computer folding cards.

Also interesting was looking at the stats for "ka$ino" who finished 2nd in this event for $700k. His stats were over 500 tournament games on Stars. Back in 05/06 he was playing $1 (Yes one dollar) tournaments. He was playing others to but plenty of these. A few cashes in 06 seemed to send him onto bigger things but he is not a big player at all. His biggest cash was about 4k. Can you imagine being overjoyed to cash 4k, how you must feel to bank 700k IN ONE NIGHT!

I really recommend OPR (official poker rankings) for checking others stats as well as your own. Your stats come up for the last 120 days only, but you can do all time or even month by month.

I went deep in the $11 25k guaranteed AGAIN the other night. I got into the money after 3000 people had entered. We had a break and i was below average chips but still about 25 big blinds. The money from 350 to 50 is fairly inconsequential, the range of payouts being $11 to $150 or so so i made a move and found myself in a race i couldn't win. I had 77 on the button and reraised all in. I was called by AK and was in great shape until the rivered K. Finished 339th. Hey ho. I am definitely much more used to the way these play now and tournaments in general. I still hate the idiots and the beats but love the game. When i first had a go at these i was scared to play. It wasn't cos of the buy in obviously, i think it was the prospect of winning. I would play uber tight and watch the payouts approach really desperate to make it in and to move up. Now all i care about is wining first place cos i really want $5k, ha! I still need to get more used to just watching my position in the tournament and blind levels rather than other stacks on my table in relation to my own. However every little corner turned or aspect realised is gonna be good in the long run.

I was thinking the other day about last years poker and it was ALL cash games. Getting used to tournaments has been long and emotional but is definitely getting somewhere and i am sure that before much longer i will have a bankroll that can support successful ventures at both.

Just bought Tiger Woods Golf on my PS2 and am off to play some high stakes golf against an animated opponent. Ahhhh the life of the unemployed.

Enjoy it you little monkeys

Slacking

2007-09-25T12:50:00.000Z

Happy Tuesday everyone, apologies for the lack of updates but with other blogs, forums, playing poker and occasionally speaking to my girlfriend (joke) its getting tough to post.

As its Tuesday don't forget that the 5th episode of High Stakes Poker is now available to view on Youtube/pokertube. Enjoy. I WISH that programme was longer i love it so much.

I have just been ooooop north for the weekend (and so missed the RTR league game - see the Raise the River link on the right and get signed up if you are not already) it was my girlfriends parents 30th wedding anniversary, plus my Dad and his wife are over from Canada and we met some old friends and basically ate all weekend. Fantastic.

Poker wise- after placing second in another 4/180 (yawn- lol) on PokerStars just before the weekend i had a nice $170 in my account and played a $10 - 27 man sng and finished 4th when i moved all in on a 7Q9J board with 77 and was called by AT - he hit the king on the river which was pretty sick. Still i cashed in 4th place. Last night i played a $10 18 man sng which i won for $70ish. That meant i could cash out 100 and still leave 130 in the account which is all good. I'd love to keep the bankroll, such as it is, rolling up but i just need the money. One big cash, thats all we need!

I looked at my Sharkscope and have something like $1300 profit over 1200 games or so, current ROI 20%. I am pretty happy with this for a few reasons. First just cos its in the black which after ages of feeling like i was never gonna make any headway in this game is great news. Secondly - out of the $1300 profit 800 has come in the last 400 games. This may not seem like a lot but it means that i am becoming a more profitable player when over 60% of my profit has come in the last 30% of my games. Also since discovering Sharkscope and Official Poker Rankings (http://www.officialpokerrankings.com/) i have had to realise my true statistics and this has really helped me focus my game and have stronger ambitions to be better. There is also something in the fact that they are publc statistics that makes me want to do better as well. I don't want to be a fish at a table and hated having a goldfish symbol on Sharkscope! Its long gone now though and will never return. I have my sights set on a shark!!

Playing these $10 sngs over the last couple of days i was shocked at the truly awful standard of play. There were a couple of really good plays but most of the time i was honestly appalled. I was just sat patiently waiting for hands and flops. Once i had a stack i was seeing every cheap flop i could with any 2 cards and just folding or cashing in on the maniacs. I tend to not play at the $10 level as i don't really have the money to support my losses. However i am definitely gonna mix it up a bit and try and play a bit more selectively ie/ not just instantly rebuying after i bust repeatedly, which for me is probably the biggest leak in my game, not recognising or logging off when i am not truly focused to play.

I wish you all the best of luck and fingers crossed for more $$ for everyone

Subhuman Scum

2007-09-19T01:59:00.000Z

I have just busted out of a 180 with the following hand. The villian was in the last 180 i played and i busted him after he limped to my bb - me with T8 - the flop was TT7 - he bet - i called - turn 6 - bets i raise - he calls - river 4 - he checks i bet half the pot and he calls with J7. Basically with that and other plays i have him pegged as a donkey and then he makes this classic play.....

PokerStars No-Limit Hold'em Tourney, Big Blind is t400 (9 handed)
Button (t7420)SB (t14250)Hero (t10698)UTG (t8070)UTG+1 (t26037)MP1 (t20433)MP2 (t2435)MP3 (t10035)CO (t8433)
Hero is BB with JA
MP3 raises to t1200
Hero calls t800.
Flop (t2200) 84J
Hero checks
MP3 bets t1200
Hero raises to t3473
MP3 raises to t8810 and is all in
Hero calls t5337.
Turn 9
River T
Hero has Jh Ac (one pair, jacks).
MP3 has 7h 7c (straight, jack high).
Outcome: MP3 wins t19820

I was soooo mad. Especially as i have been playing bad recently and unable to cash for sht. I knew i was on my way to my second final table in the day having come fifth earlier when my QQ couldn't hold to AK. I hadn't played a hand in 28 hands and then this...

I berated the fool who remained silent. I know i shoudn't but i couldn't help it. People at the table joined in the converstaion being complete fk wits. One clown said its only 4 dollars. But actually to me it isn't. It obvioulsy cost 4 to enter, but when it has taken 2 hours to get to this point plus i was on my way to cash that is how much it cost me.

Buy in + time spent + potential money won = what it ACTUALLY cost me you CUNT

Am i the sort of person that should be playing poker?

2007-09-10T16:34:00.000Z

Here is the thought. I just wonder if i really have the patience to play this game properly and if i will ever get awa from the level that i am currently playing at. I know that i cam beat certain levels i am just not properly bankrolled for them. I have an ability to gather a huge amount of chips in tournaments but cant hold onto them for the hours that i need to. I seem to know a lot of theory and can often spot good or bad plays and players and yet i am still missing a decent cash.

I think that 2 things may really be holding me back. First is patience, the second is the love of the action. Both quite connected actually. I cannot just sit in a tourney with 1 chip or a million chips and just wait for decent hands. This often leaves me shafted somewhere down the line but i love to play a pot. If i have any sort hand i will often be in the pot, especially if i have the chipolatas. And more commonly if the opponent has a lot of juicy chipolatas that i could win given the correct flop.

I guess this has just come as i busted 12th/11th/15th/ and 3rd in 4 of the last 8 - $4.40 /180's i have entered. Talk about close but no cigar. These things are obviously only played by me as they are in my bankroll range and have a potentially decent 1st/2nd place payout. Any other position especially 10th - 18th is not even worth playing for.

I am not really sure what to do. The bubble usually comes around the second break and with 10k you can make it towards the FT. Perhaps i will try accumuating this (not hard) and then just play top starting hands. That is something i have not tried really. What i have tried is playing looser when i have a stack but to be honest, these bully boy tactics rarely work at this level in my opinion as most of these retards look on any ace or suited cards as goldedn. It doesnt matter if you raise in late or limp reraise UTG, if these clowns like a hand it will be played. I guess i am a bit like that too really. However i believe that i can make better judgements then them as to how strong i hit the flop against a possible range of hands and lay down strong hands if i have to.

Like they say "if you don't lay down the best hand once in a while, you are calling too much"

Just read the last few posts of Rosies blog - Link over there ---------> I'm a fan. Wonder what she looks like........

Who's next to read. I'm off to read more from Brian Townsend and will probably look at Andy Wards next. He is the player that was runner up to Ram in the WSOP and he runs a strategy bloge here http://www.secretsoftheamateurs.blogspot.com/

Enjoy friends, good luck and thanks for coming. Please help yourselves to a biscuit.

Bored bored bored

2007-08-31T15:30:00.000Z

God! I am so bored.

I am currently in a period of my life where i am not working (i am not a state sponger either, although now i regret not getting what i could from them) I have worked the odd day here and there (i get a lot when i do work these days) plus a weeks work in Saudi Arabia which i wouldn't exchange for anything (well, most things) and really, as far as material things go i want for nothing. I have a beautiful girlfriend (not that she is a material thing, this is just the start of the list and she is the most important), more clothes and trainers than most women, a 42 inch cock (i mean plasma telly) and a denon surround sound system. I have money in the bank, (although this is fading faster than Barrymore's career did) but i am not happy.

Sick i know. What a spoilt cunt!

It is all career based problems. I have worked in performance since i was a little kid and have just not really had the break that i am looking for. I some senses it is going well, moved to london, got into drama school, graduated, got an agent, got work, lost agent, got another agent etc. Some people cant get into drama school, others that do cant get an agent, others that do cant get work. It could be worse, but it is not good enough. I want to meet the big wigs of this business. I want to work in brilliant films and great TV (there is still some) and to do this i need another agent. Is 3 agents in 4 years too many? Probably. I just know that i will not be satisfied until i start achieving these things and am not prepared to just fucking sit around waiting for her to get me another shit audition.

The way most people get agents is either by being good in something and therefor been commercially viable and therefor investable so you can have your pick of agents, often regardless of genuine talent or experience. Another way is to be plucked from a show or drama school for your ability (must be nice). The final and most demoralising way is to write letters. Some idiots write "dear Sir/ madam" letters which apparently get binned on sight as the writer clearly couldn't even be bothered to find out the correct agents name. Once you have bought nice paper, printer ink, hard backed envelopes, stamps, reproductions of your photo, and sat and personalised 100 letters, which obviously takes a lot of time and thought, you have spent on the way to £150. Doing this and thinking, knowing, in the back of your mind that you will more than likely be ignored completely or have your letter binned is disheartening to say the least. Even if you do get a response it is often in the vain of "currently not accepting any more clients" or the very best response you might get, seriously this is good, "please let us know when you are appearing in something" - HOW CAN I APPEAR IN SOMETHING WHEN I DONT HAVE A FUCKING AGENT --can't get an agent, can't get seen for decent jobs. Vicious circle

It really leaves me no further on having written this. I just wanted to vent in a semi anonymous way and to have anyone who cares understand that being an actor definitely ain't all about glamour!

Good luck you poker playing sickos

Its like a fresh addiction all over again

2007-08-18T12:45:00.000Z

I am currently watching Gandhi on BBC2 - crazy to see a young Ben Kingsley "blacked" up to play a man of Indian origin and so convincingly too. For such a film buff this is a film that i feel i should have seen buy now, but how often do you fancy watching a semi religious, political epic. Although now i am, i am enjoying it. This may provide enough motivation to finally watch Lawrence of Arabia, again the title in my head of "Desert Epic" is not very appealing. If you want deserts by the way, watch Three Kings and Jarhead.

Guns Woo! religion boo! that's my motto - (it isn't really - please God don't kill me yet)

So yesterday i played 3 x 180's -
1) 24th ish
2) 12th
3) 6th QQ into KK on the final table. I was watching TV (lol) and playing the RTR tournament at the time and so perhaps did not give the situation due consideration (definitely level 1 thinking) and on reflection should have given the second chip leader more credit

Today i have just busted out in 55th - should have gone way further if a guy who had slightly more chips than me had not decided to shove over the top of my raise with 45 hearts which flopped an open ended straight flush draw, turned a straight and rivered the flush. Joke. Hey ho!

The good news here is that i have gone late in 4 tourneys on the trot with 2 cashes. My current plan is to keep playing these 180's to try and build my BR back up which is currently non existent.

Playing the Raise the River league game yesterday was my first outing with them. I have played the bloggerment once but not this one. I decided i would get involved early and dropped a few chips before seeing Yorkshire Pud do a lot of chips after raising in first and representing a bigger hand than the pocket fours he eventually had to show down. Later he raised again in first or very early position, he was called and i moved all in with 99. He paused and called with KQ suited and i was on my way to a few chips. I then played very tight for the next hour at least and hit some hands and built a nice amount of chippys. When we got to 4 handed i had a good chip lead and proceeded to double up each of the 3 remaining players. Pretty fucking embarrassing to be honest. I thought burnley mik played particularly well as his aggression was often well timed and his judgement correct. I think in 2 key hands i did him in though with AK spades against his A9. I raised the button and he shoved from the sb. Later he had amassed chips again and i shoved over his button raise with 44, a while later he called with 33. The hand prior to this he had raised with 72. I figured he'd think, i'd think he'd have a better hand this time, but from a man i know can fold top pair, i thought he'd think that. lol! Pretty funny really but often the way that a lot of money gets involved with less than premium holdings. Pretty uneventful for me 3 handed. Down to HU against a player who i do not know and i seemed to lose it here, at the crucial stage. I picked up a great pot with AK, he folded to my AQ and AT hearts in the first 3 hands wheni was in the bb. Then he open shoved and then did it again and this swung the pendulum for aggression to him. After that i picked up no hands, hit no hands, mistimed a lame bluff attempt and then he shoved into me and i called with KJ. He showed Q4. Is this normal?? If i win this i take a 2-1 chip lead but it is not to be as the flop brings another two 4's. Gutted.

In retrospect, although there wasn't much room for it i would rather have played for smaller pots and seen his holdings. However, in this situation, the raises were big and the blinds were high. The only thing i can really be happy with is the fact that i put my money in good.

In the lead up to this tournament i did post on the forum at RTR that i was going to win but i will have to settle for second and a promise of a comeback of biblical proportions.

As some of you may know i am a blog fiend. If i haven't read your blog yet i will get there. I currently read around 20 regularly. Of which i have read each in their entirety. Reading the whole thing takes time (in the case of Paul Phillips, i may well be dead before i finish his War and Peace sized scribings), but this is part nosey, part learning and part interest in people. I believe that as part of this community it is all the information i have to attempt to get to know you. With that in mind i am currently reading:

Brian Townsend - no explanation needed
Girlie Poker - Rosie's blog - in my opinion this blog is excellent. It has poker content and a genuinely original style written by an intelligent and opinionated person (being opinionated is a good thing btw). When she writes she sounds like a couple of my female friends and it is therefor something i can instantly tap into.
Kennl - given his recent success i am keen to know more about this player. i have just started reading his blog.It is fairly short so shouldn't take too long. I like the idea of posting in tourney breaks. I would steal it but am usually too busy pissing and making tea. I also like his aims. Some huge, some more reasonable but they look like they may be on the way to becoming reality. Good luck sir.
Burnley Mik - I have seen you about a lot. Now you are al over RTR and i am playing with you so you are next . See you there.

Ok more Gandhi to watch, tournies to cash in and blogs to read. Poker feels good again.

Back in the game

2007-08-17T18:37:00.000Z

Bumblasquat

Now then peeps.

Today i walked past my supermarket in order to walk much further to get to the Tesco express to buy some extra nice stuff. It was covered in scaffolding and closed. Bollocks

In other news i have registered with Poker X Factor. I spent a few minutes looking at it day one and was like "noooo, what have i done..?" now? I firkin love it.

There is tonnes of content. A reported 220 hours of videos. A busy forum with posts from a load of players including Annette 15. There is the facility to upload your hand history and have it play back hand for hand in video format. You can then spped this up/slow it down/ replay hands and generally work on your game from an outside perspective. It is also very cool to hear these pro players perspectives on certain situations.

This has made me really eager to play again. I played a 180 earlier and finished 4 off the money, one later finished 12th and am in another now. I have won a few of these in the past (maybe 6 4.40's and the only $10- 180 i played) so this might not mean anything and i still have to control my rage, but we shall see what happens. I have already spotted a couple of things that i need to change in my game. Really just things to do with discipline and position.

Off now to play the Raise the River tourney and bring the trophey to London. (via yorkshire)

good luck my children

Sing it - "Oh ma God I'm back again"

2007-08-12T15:58:00.000Z

Whats up ma homies. Ma brothers and sisters. Ma brothers from lots of other mothers.

Been away for some time and now i am back. Sitting my virtual ass at the virtual felt and boy oh boy it is going.....shitly. New word. Hows it going? Shitly. Thanks for asking.

Flopped 2 pr beaten by higher flopped 2 pr. 2 pr beaten by set. 2 pr beaten by set again. Folding AQ in the bb after seeing an early position raise and a reraise all in - they show KJs and AK - i say "Yess" as i see i made the correct decision. Turn Q river Q. Ha! Fur Q!

This was all in some cash game action so some heavy losses were incurred. Balls. I really thought after my time off i would come back and things would slip into place and i would be making moves like a cross between Daniel Negreanu and Yoda. Alas, it would seem that i am still shit.

What else is there left for me to do but eat chicken (breasts, drums, wings and thighs rubbed with salt, pepper, oregano, and chilli flakes, fridge 1 hour, out, pat dry, toss them and some torn ciabatta chunks in olive oil, put the bread on a baking tray and the chicken on top of them, oven 180 for 45mins, serve with rocket and tarragon, mmmm) and watch TV. I have just finished season 1 of Prison break and season 1 of Entourage as well as starting to watch Alias season 1. If you have not seen any of these shows, sort out out and do it pronto vito.

Had more castings this week - short film - corporate and Microsoft photo campaign (as a model, oh yes folks. Not just a pretty fa...hang on!) I'll let you know if anything happens.

In the meantime - good luck and i hope you cards fall better than mine

One of those nights

2007-08-01T00:40:00.000Z

You know it's one of those nights when;

You have won the night before and eagerly sit down to win more money. You are out of the room when the first hand is dealt and fold AK only to return and see lots of action on an ace high flop from early idiots betting with nothing - loss 3000

Then throughout the nest half hour you see the flop many times but on 5 hands in particular would have made the best hand only to have been priced out earlier by idiots betting too much with marginal holdings - loss at least 10k

You then pick up AQ, 66, 88 and lose chips through not connecting with the flop and frustration at what has happened thus far.

You load up another tourney only to drip chips like a lame bastard. Lose a huge pot with a hand which you should have folded pre flop halving your above average, comfortable stack.

Looking for a spot to double up you shove from the BB with A6 hearts only to be called by 2nd position who cant get his chips in fast enough with AK off suit.

Computer - off

Movies and me

2007-07-31T14:05:00.000Z

Whats up dudes?

Just a quick one to say -

1) Don't watch Ghost Rider, the Marvel comic adaptation starring Nic Cage and Eva Mendes. I am a comic movie fan. All the Batman's, Blade, Spidey etc. This, unfortunately is absolute gash.

2) Instead, why not rent the best films i have seen recently.
- The Science of Sleep - starring the excellent Gael Garcia Bernal and Charlotte Ginsbourg, directed by the fantastic Michel Gondry, director of Eternal Sunshine. Such a weird, quirky and uniquely beautiful film.
- The Fountain - starring Hugh Jackman, Rachel Weizs and Ellen Burstyn who are all excellent. Seriously, if you only know Jackman as Wolverine, check this shit. It is by the writer director Darren Aronofsky who also made Requiem For a Dream, also a must see. This film is unusual. I sat through the first half n hour thinking i was hating it and it resulted in me absolutely loving it. Beautiful, emotional and original. Do it. Do it now.
- A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints - with Robert Downey Jr and written and Directed by Dito Montiel. This guy Montiel wrote book about his life growing up and this is the film based on that story. It is really very good.

3) That part i went for yesterday. I only went and got it! Can't believe it, i am really chuffed to bits. Had a chat with the writer/director just now and i am really excited. Basically it is a pilot for a sit com for the telly. In case you don't know, what people do is, when they have an idea, they assess levels of interest and test the water. If that is positive they make a pilot of one episode o how the show will look. This is then touted around all the channels to see if someone wants to buy it. So that's the next stage. Get together, talk it through, see the script, learn that, then film it baybee.

In the vain of some other blogs out there - its like flopping quads.

Love ya

tournaments and tears

2007-07-31T02:36:00.000Z

Whats up brothers and sisters?

I have just played the sickest 180 ever. I didn't feel like playing much today but by the time tonight came round, i knew I'd be good.

Basically i got smacked full in the face by the deck. An example of the sickness is illustrated below.

I limp in late with 33 after 2 limpers. The flop is A43 with 2 clubs. It checks to me and i bet. One player stays in and calls. The turn is a 5. He shoves all in. I have a tonne of chips by the way but its still a big pot. due to the fact that he has limped in first i figure he has an ace something. maybe has 2 pr. Obviously i consider the 2 for the straight but he has been all in a few recent hands and i doubt he limps in first with a deuce and another card. 22 is the only conceivable option as far as i am concerned. So i call. He has K2 off suit (lol) for the straight and i am a mile behind.

River 3 - implausible quads! Love it.

I reach the final table first in chips with 100k - the closest competitor has 25k. Nice. Obviously there are a few double ups so i am not a monster for long. I witness the most horrific stream of beats and suddenly players who should be out are big contenders.

Then my luck tuns out. I raise the button with AQ clubs - i flop a flush draw but the board is paired 442 with 2 clubs. My opp bets - i raise - he calls. I put him on a pair like 77/88. The turn is an A so i am sure i am well ahead now. He checks i bet he raises i call. He has A4 for a turned FH. I don't really know how i get away from that. Maybe if i was just a better player. lol

I am down to the final 4 but am now 3rd. I raise the button with A8 off suit - same opponent reraises. I fold.

Later same opponent raises - i have AT off - i should have called to see a flop but i shoved. He paused - god knows why and then called with QQ. I am gone. The luck ran out.

I'll be back tomorrow.

Also - played my first bloggerment this weekend. I came 17th of 30 odd. My final hand (after only having 22 and AQ spades in the first hour and determined not to play shit! Ha!) i have AJ clubs in the big blind. Suffolk over raises slightly in the cutoff. I figure out where i think stand and am right when i reraise and he doesn't fold 55. He then hits a 5 on the flop, so i'm fucked. Good work Sir.

In other news, i had an audition today for a part i really want and think i fucked it up. A lot of actors go to auditions and regardless of what happened say "i think i fucked it up". I am not one of these attention seeking types. I usually come out going "yeah it went really well" and then am astounded when i don't get it. PMA baby! Today was different. I was hugely upset. Felt like a failure and had an argument with my good lady. Rubbish.

Later made up and then finished 4th. Every cloud and all that.

I'll let you know tomorrow when they tell me i didn't get it

Night night

Back at the cash tables

2007-07-27T19:56:00.000Z

Whats up ma brothers (and sisters?)

I busted in the 5 dollar, 6pm, 5k guaranteed after some guy couldn't pass AQ on a flop with a player al in. I knew i was ahead on the low flop with 55. He stayed on the flop, turn and rivered a flush that beat my 5 high flush. I was out when it folds to me on the button and i shove with JQ suited, he calls with K3 hearts. This is whilst he is telling me i have given him all my chips. Ok mate. I was actually really angry. Not tilted like normal i mean if i was there i would have smashed him in the face with my frying pan. (i always have one by me)

So what did i do when i was so vexed. Did i have a hot bath with essential chamomile oils? Did i go to the gym and run off the aggression? Did i perhaps go to the local beauty salon for a relaxing massage and facial?

No. I sat at the cash tables. Ha! what am i like? I can't help myself! lunacy

Well, i sat at two .25/.50 tables with $10 at each. By the time i had $30 on 1 i had zero on the other. I just didn't get any cards or hit any flops so it dripped away. In comparison on the other table i caught aces 4 times and just hit loads of flops against idiots. Eventually i left the table approximately an hour and 15 later with $112. Great stuff! So up $90 in an hour.

The last hand was fookin ace. I was much looser than a lot of the players on the table and was in a lot of raised pots. It was really paying off and i was taking down pots with a lots of semi bluffs. I called an early position raise with 55. The flop was a beautiful A95. The initial raiser bet, i raised, he called. The turn was another ace. He checked i bet strong he raised all in i called. He has AK the poor bloke. Raising AK correctly and flopping 3 aces. How the fk is he not going broke.

Oh well its all good. I have deposited a lot of small amounts lately so i can withdraw to cover that and hopefully keep going like this. The cash games should, fingers crossed, provide a profit and buyins for my tourney entries.

Get in ya bitch!

Cash

2007-07-27T11:29:00.000Z

That was my impulse title for this post as i played a cash game last night. As soon as i wrote it i realised it is what i would have written if i had cashed in a tournament, which i haven't. Yet.

Last night i busted from the 6pm, $5, 5k guaranteed. This is a new regular fixture for me i decided. Not too crowded a field and still 3k in chips and 15 minute levels. Nice one. I don;t know how i went out but no doubt i was a huge favourite. Just kidding.

Later i busted in the midnight after 2 3/4 hours. I made a really dumb play. Basically i called a late position raise from an active player, i had QJ clubs (i fukin love clubs). The flop came K89 with 2 spades. Not a great flop although i do have a gutshot and there is only one over card. I check call a flop bet. Miss. Instead of stopping here i check call again. I hit a queen on the river so now have to call that. He has AK. I don't know why i do this. I need to just drill it into my head that i am calling a raise out of position to hit a flop hard. Not catch half of nothing and do a load of chips with it. Muppet.

Before this hand i had been moved to the right of a player with 24k in chips. He had his fat face as his avatar and was talking shit and playing any hand. I found kings and shoved early position he called with A7 off suit and i doubled. Later i shove QT suited and find myself in bad shape to his KQ and i'm gone.

I am wide awake so i jump to some cash tables. I decide to play a minimum buy in and see what happens. So i sit with $10 at 0.25/0.50. I lose it immediately with QJs vs KJs on a J high flop when i river 2 pr and he makes a straight. I lose another 10 fairly standard.

On the third $10, i call a raise on the button with 77. The pot is approx $5. The flop is an ugly KTx. He pauses and bets $1. This is a pathetic bet here - i call. The turn is a 7. Bingo. This does put 2 floosh draws out. He checks. Pussy. I bet $1, and laugh at my hilarious genius. He raises. I know he is weak so i shove. He calls with JJ.

I make may way to $30 and we are even in money. Until this happens.

I raise after it folds to me. I am in the cutoff with 96 diamonds. I am reraised quite strong from the bb. I call. The flop is Q94 - he bets - obviously - i call. Turn 6. I love it. I know i am ahead of his big pp. He bets strong i raise all in he calls. The river is a disaster. It's a 4. So he rivers a better 2 pair with his KK. Mother fucker. He then says thank you. Like he set me up. The fuckin plum. I was steamed and actually called him dumbo! God knows why. I am usually much more intelligently offensive in these situations. He was like, Doh what did you have. I didn't say that if you just thought for a minute there are only 2 hands that he couldn't beat til the river that were screwed by the river card. Them being Q9 and 96. Little bitch.

That did me in. Down to 2 dollars. I sorted that out to $10 and built that up to $40 and left the table eventually with $25.

I definitely had fun playing and if favourable situations had gone my way i would have finished on $70 with a $30 profit for a short session. Definitely beatable. I saw a lot of hands not folded when they should have been and hands like a flopped 2 pr getting paid off till the river by top pr. It was much fun and a while since i played this level. I am thinking about buying August off too and giving myself a small roll. This will be a roll to cover a small venture back into cash games as well as several tournaments a few times a week where my real aim is to make a significant tournament cash, to build on the roll by playing cash games and to be more disciplined as a player. It will probably be a more significant amount like 500 dollars. Eek!

I knew i wasn't in the right frame of mind

2007-07-25T23:38:00.000Z

Good evening sports fans.

Just a quick one. I have just boosted from the midnight 20k guaranteed after about 30 minutes. Truly a pathetic attempt. hands of interest.

1) First hand - i have 22 and limp in third - there are several limpers - flop comes AJ2 - with 2 diamonds - i bet pot -called in 1 spot - the turn is an ace - non diamond - i bet pot - called river 3 - i bet smaller - am min raised and call it - he has 45 diamonds.

Ok so he paid a lot to draw and didn't really get a big river payoff

2) I flop top pr and bet each st - opp is check calling with 8 outs to a straight - hits the river but checks - i check too - expensive draw no payoff.

i now have 1800 from initial 3k and hate having lost so much so soon

3) There is a small raise and a couple of callers - i call in the blinds with A6clubs - the flop brings a KJx - with 2 clubs. I lead out for 200 and am reraised by the button. I can't call here imo so shove. see myself with 12 outs and hit the turn. He mocks me. I think he;s a prick. Fair play he has AK so i have 9 outs and am just shy of 60/40 underdog but i have just lost a bunch of chips and i fail to see what the point is of playing a hand like ace suited if you're not gonna be happy flopping a 4 flush. He was of the opinion that it was early to be all in on a draw. I am of the opinion that i would double up or bust and also of the opinion that he could keep his fuckin mouth shut.

4) Final hand. I limp the button w Q3 diamonds. There is a decent raise from the big blind. Our verbal friend calls and i call too. The flop is a lovely TQ3 but has 2 flush cards and the straight draw. Mr blind raiser bets strong. I have him on aces or kings. Matey peeps calls. He is behind me for sure - a pair perhaps. I shove right there. Raiser calls, so does our friend. How about this for some amusing irony. Our friend is all in on a flush draw. Is he drawing to the nuts? Is he fuck - he has T5 clubs for a monster T high straight draw. Our early position raiser has AA. Fantastic. The turn is a J diamonds. I go further ahead in the hand. The river is a 2 out ace for him to take it down with a set.

Balls.

I am not playing like a maniac at the moment but i am seeing flops with a much more open range when in position.

As you may or may not know i am a blog fiend. Everyone i have spoken to in this community has had or will have their entire blog read by me sooner or later. So make them good, yeah? I am currently reading Rizens blog at www.rizenpoker.com Whats cool about this is that aside from being a skilled cash and mainly tournament player and decent guy he actually posts selected hands from his hand histories in the animated PokerXFactor format and explains them in text. I think its well worth a look for anyone wanting to see how a pro plays and thinks through different spots.

Good luck you dirty mothers

2007-07-21T16:48:00.000Z

Hey guys.

Just in case anyone is worried sick about me, i am okay. "Thank fuck" i bet you're all thinking. I have still been playing the odd 4.40, 180 and the nightly 20k guaranteed. Saturday I came 360th ish out of 2500 ish and last night came 607th out of 3610. Fuckin huge field, i would love to have more money and buy into higher tournies to face a smaller field. I feel pretty good to have got through this many people but pretty shit not to get over that last hurdle into the cash. Despite this and despite the suckouts, i am feeling pretty good about my game. Having just written that i have just boosted from tonights 20k. i got it all in early w AQ on a QJx flop only to be called by the pre flop reraiser who had KT off suit...?

I was down to 30 chips, the bb was 30 and it was me all in with K9 the nest hand. To cut a long story short, within the hour i had over 10k. Unfortunately the prolific button raiser couldn't fold Q9 "but it was suited" after a shoved all in from the small blind with AQ. Called me in a nano second incidentally. Fkin donks out in force. My last hand came when i raised pre in mid w 99 - i was reraised by the button who i was definitely calling due to past history, the bb went all in. At that point i knew i should fold but called anyway after i found the excuse somewhere in a dark corner of my mind. My excuse was, given that the bb had shoved on a few occasions already i could imagine the bb and the button on a similar range to each other, hopefully this might put me ahead with my pair, albeit in a race situation. I called before the rational part of my brain could kick in and i was gone 99 vs AT vs QQ.

Before i knew it i had bought into 2 more tourneys and have just boosted from 1 with 2 pr a flush draw and a straight draw - which lost to a straight.

God damn it.

Despite all this i will say i am feeling good about my game. Over the last few months i have been going deeper more consistently. I have made some changes which include a step back from a lot of thing i have read and seen and just playing tighter poker. I still call raises in position with speculative hands against big stacks but tend to raise with them less. This makes me feel like i don't have to retain control with a shit hand after the flop but i can, if the right flop comes, take the play from the initial raiser. I am also giving up more marginal flop hands easier. Top pair is still just one pair. I can honestly say that if i get a lot of heat at this stage at these limits, the player may be retarded but more often than not has a hand which beats mine. I am also still able to get all my chips in the pot at any stage of the hand if i think i am ahead. I know i still need to improve, especially tilt and playing when not fully fit to, but i can just feel a decent win is on its way. I fookin know it!

I spent today recording a voice over for an animated short film which is going to be submitted to international film festivals. I had a wicked time at this recording studio in Camden and met some wicked people and contacts for the future.

This blog is all over the place but i just thought something else. If you are feeling a little poker jaded, choose a low buy in tourney in your game of choice and basically just shove whenever you feel you have the best hand. I know that betting when we think we have the best hand is how we work, but to shove a raiser pre because you think your 99 is slightly ahead is what i'm talking about. If you are not sure pre flop call, see a flop. Has it helped? Yes? Blast all in. No check raises. No funny business. No jiggery pokery just hardcore US army style, Nuke Em Poker, "Texas Nuke Em" if you will. I'm off to nuke some cunts right now.

Update

2007-07-19T01:07:00.000Z

After pondering what to do with myself poker wise, as well as losing $10 from Ultimate Bet (AK vs AT - strong raising pre - all in on an ATx flop - cunt) and £20 from Will Hill, i have redeposited the minimum on PokerStars, $10. My mission now, shoud i choose to accept it (erm, already have) is to play 1 and 2 dollar games and roll it up until i can play other games. I consider this a good move for 2 reasons. Firstly, it is punishment for treating my new BR with no respect. Now i must grind something together from the lowest of the low. Secondly, i have to respect the game. I am playing like such a twat. I am playing too fast, not thinking things through and not giving people nearly enough credit. Are they clever enough to make big bluffs? Not that often. Are they in fact more likely to have made a big hand by playing rags out of position in a raised pot? Much more likely. Think about it!

So i just played my first. $1 - 45 man tourney. Came first for $14. The best start possible. It was great. I honestly feel like i've won something huge! it's fucking pathetic! But, my A10 beat 66 when i had a bigger stack, that was the only "all in" pre flop i got myself in before i had tonnes of chips. The rest was easy. I busted the huge chip leader in 2 hands and by the time we were 4 handed i think i had 40-50k to their 8k. Funny.

So we'll see what happens now.

I honestly thought that after the 3 wins last week and withdrawing $300, leaving $200 in i had turned a corner in my poker career. I am so gutted i can't believe it. Granted, its not of Blue Scouse proportions, but i was winning sng's, from single table turbo's to multi man long hauls, i did not need to spunk a load playing impatient and high variance cash games.

The upshot to this is that once again i am on the rebuild. I am playing better than i have before but now i just need to get some patience and consistent rational play in mind and i'll really be getting somewhere.

In other news i have just checked my share prices. I got a gift of £1000 in shares about 6 years ago. The price we paid was around 50p per share. Shortly after buying them they rocketed up to £6 odd. If we had sold then we would have made £12k, gutted! Since that point they dropped to an all time low in 2003 of about 25p. Selling then would have made a loss of £500, hilarious. Due to recent activities and contracts with apple and other mobile communications companies they are on a steady rise finishing the day on £1.56 - around £3k as for as i am concerned. All good and more to come apparently. Nice.

Oh yeah. A while ago i mentioned that i had some bizarre searches that had led to my blog. The latest is pretty sick but funny too. Someone has ended up here by searching "Just naked children". It's as if he (or she?) is tired of finding sites with just a few naked kids on, "Tut! too many naked adults". He has used an advanced search to get just exactly when s/he wants. You sick monkey! But hey, thanks for reading.

Goodnight

Kick me when i'm down

2007-07-17T23:42:00.000Z

I have just busted from the 20k guaranteed on Stars after playing 2 hands. I ran my Ax into a set and i knew it and basically played the hand bad. A third of my chipolatas gone.

Next hand. I am on the button with AQ off. There is a raise from a player 2 to my right. i think to reraise but call. The flop is A9x - with the ace of diamonds. I am raising when he bets but he checks. I bet 3/4 pot. He calls. The turn is like the 4 of diamonds. He checks. I move all in. Its excessive i know but i know he is drawing. He instantly calls. Seriously, in a flash, with KJ diamonds. Hmmm. River 3 diamonds.

I said both his calls were mental and he said he knew it was coming. I tell you. As if it is not enough that we have to deal with betting patterns, bad luck, cold runs, 2 outers, etc. Now we have to deal with players who think they know what is coming next. I admit, from time to time in my early days, i too sometimes knew it was coming. I will also admit to feeling a right cunt when it didn't and i had no chips left. Wp mate.

As is that wasn't enough i have just busted from a 180 on Stars after tangling with the guy who already has 7k in chips at level 1.

I have just observed the following things happen to this same guy;

1) hand 1 he flops a set and turns quads and gets most of the chips off the guy with top pr and another guy with an over pr.

2) Some guy bets all his chips on a 9 high flop into him after he has raised pre flop - opponent has J9 off, he has KK

3) He calls 900 or so all in with 66 - makes a boat beating A10

4) A limped pot - he checks to me on a J96 flop - i bet my 9 - he calls - turn 8 - he leads out small - i call - river 8 - he bets like 1/4 pot - i call - he has 68 for flopped bottom pair and runner runner FH

5) I limp in second with AA (ace of clubs) - several limpers - oops - flop KJx - 2 clubs - first to act bets - i raise - he calls - turn low club - i shove with over pr and noot floosh draw - he calls - shows KQ with the Q of clubs - nice - river Q diamonds

Someone said he had a load of outs to beat me including the clubs. I corrected him but said when a guy is going from bottom pair to runner runner full houses, who am i to try an put my measly aces in his way.

Unreal. GG me. GG him. GG PokerStars R(LOL)NG (on the floor laughing)

Sing "Sometimes it's hard to be....

2007-07-17T16:08:00.000Z

....a poker player"

My God! I have no idea what the hell is going on. It seems to be a combination of factors but the result is, I have no idea how to play at the moment. I am caning through my bankroll at an alarming rate. My sharkscope is looking like Raymer's after some dude hacked his account and played with his dollars. I looked at my sharkscope this morning to see the words "SuperTilt". As i am playing more multi table sng's this does not worry me too much. Gone are the days of being labelled "Super Hot" as i storm the 6 seater, single table turbos!

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Just wrote a load of shit and accidentally wiped it. I am steaming so much!!! I need to turn off the pokes or reduce myself to dollar buyins for the night. I am SHIT.

What i wrote and lost was basically saying that; to be frank, my play is embarrassing. I sit here night after night hour after hour laughing at the plays of the "idiots" (reference Nathan Barley) and yet here i sit for the last 3 days, destroying my bankroll as one of the biggest fish out there. There i have said it. I am a fish. Yes, I may have won 3x 180 man tourneys in 7 days earning $630+ profit. But right now that means shit as i swear, these last 3 days anyone could beat me. I don't know what to do.

A lot of people at low limits read a lot about poker, myself included and get carried away blaming a "sick run" or variance. But if we are honest, the reason we are flailing around helplessly at the low limits is due to holes in our game. Variance is something professionals allow for when they play near perfect poker. They expect that despite getting their money in with the best of it, this will not always be enough. Of course these outdraws happen to us too, but i fail to judge them as variance because i can admit that i am not always getting my money in with the best of it, nor am i consistently out playing my opponents. Although God only knows how i can't consistently beat these ass clowns.

Another thought like this is the idea of cash games versus tournament play. Books and articles offer the fact that in a cash game you can rebuy should you go broke. A lot of under rolled, low limit players read this and think that this is the way to go. The thing is, whilst reloading is clearly an option, the books and articles are more reference for a better player. You can reaload if you go broke, but this should be assuming you are out drawn rather than out played or out classed. If any pro was sat at a table where he was losing and felt he had no edge, he would be gone in a flash. If he was out drawn and rebought, then lost again but maintained that he had an edge, he would reload all night. I'm thinking more Negreanu's 6's full versus Gus's quads as oppose to Matusows daily blow ups! There are tonnes of players, myself once included, who are consistently spaffing money away because its so fucking easy to reload. They are not constantly outdrawn, but occasionally. More often than not they reload and remain at a table hoping "this (non existent) sick run" will end. More often than not when their variance kicks in, they will still lose their money rather than win it.

I'm sooo frustrated its unbelievable. Just placed 4th in a sng whilst writing this because i made an "obvious bluff" as a third party fish called it. However i fail to see how he could have called unless he held the pair that he did.

Now where did i put that gun...

for any film fans...

2007-07-14T19:27:00.000Z

I posted yesterday that i was watching Save the Green Planet by Stephen Chow. Whilst watching the film i became aware that it was nothing at all like the other films of his that i have seen. This is simply because what i said was in fact untrue. Whilst i was indeed watching this film, it would seem that Stephen Chow had nothing to do with the making of it. Save the Green Planet is in fact written and directed by Joon- Hwan Jang.

Steven Chow did however, write, direct and star in Kung Fu Hustle and Shaolin Soccer. Kung fu Hustle, as mentioned yesterday, must be seen.

Check in the Dark apologises to both Stephen Chow and Joon-Hwan Jang, both of whom are known to read this blog religiously. I hope that you can find it in your hearts to forgive me.

Well, well, well...

2007-07-13T22:24:00.000Z

Good evening troops.

Just sitting around playing 'da pokes' and seeing what happens. I have had an up and down few days. As i posted recently, i had a few wins and then spooonked half of it up the cash game wall. I recouped a few dollars at William Hill, cashing out 40 quid leaving 20 still in. I won a couple of sng's and then lost more. I was profitable though. I did sit at a $25 cash table while my house mate was watching. I played about 3 hands in an hour and left with $60. Very fishy indeed. I am not rolled to play at these games but the truth of the decision was 2 fold. 1, the stats window in the lobby; it was a very loose table and the average pot was high. I thought/knew/hoped that sitting tight would reap rewards. And 2, does anyone else play better when they have someone watching them? I tend to have to explain situations aloud and thus analyse my own play. Definitely good for someone who tends to get splashy in too many pots - like me.

In other news. I have just placed first in another 180 for another $216. Yeah, yeah, just another $216. Ha! Its great news 'cos as you may or may not know i don't work properly at the moment, so its all welcome. I said that i would not cash any out as i wanted to build my BR up, but i did just take out $180/ £90, leaving me with over $200. The reason for this is that whilst i really do want to build a roll, at the same time i need money and was so angry at myself for spunking money away the other day, i would rather withdraw it and "bank" it than risk it. I withdrew it this time but will definitely win more bankroll contributions soon! Watch this space.

So i worked last Saturday for £175, withdrew £150 poker profit this week and am getting £220 to work tomorrow. For being a Pirate! Arrrrrrrr! Not a bad week - £545. I don't need more than that in a week. That amount per week more regularly would be nice though!

Sometimes i think my life is so dull. Other times, like this week. I fookin' love it!

Currently;
reading - True and False - David Mamet (Book about being a better actor - work you see)
watching - Save the Green Planet - Steven Chow (also made the must see Kung Fu Hustle)
listening to - The Pussycat Dolls - (foxy bitches)

good luck everyone

Next one...

2007-07-11T01:05:00.000Z

I had just taken a very big hit and was about half stacked - 700 or so.

Everyone limped and i raised all in with A7 off suit. I got called in 2 spots. A first position plater insta-called me ..."OH SHIT!".... as well as a mid position player.

The mid position flipped the monster that is Q7 suited or as it is known on the pro circuit "Old Faithful", ahem

The early limper - mother fucker - i didn't want to see those cards....hang on - he called with A3....off suit. Fuckin ace! i've got the best hand. It held and i won. Tripled up to over my starting stack.

Lets call Mr A3 "Genius" for the purpose of this next hand. Which incidentally was the very next hand.

I limp and complete with J10.

Genius raises in the bb - raises to about 500. I did have 600 - now i have 1600 - so i feel like i'm free rolling and call. I love the hand anyway. The flop is nice. 88T - i check raise him all in.

He insta calls with....

A7 diamonds. I shit you not, ladies and gentlemen

Turn 6

River 9 - creating the most improbable straight since....well since last time i posted about an improbable suck out.

Whilst writing this, in another tourney, i just moved all in from the sb and got called by first position who had 83 off suit.

A few minutes later - i had raised pre flop with A9 of hearts. We had checked down a board which finally read

QQTT7 -

I made a small bet with my ace, confident i was ahead. He called and mucked. I asked what he called with. He didn't speak. He is probably licking his cat or eating a faeces sandwich or something. So i checked the hand history. He called with J8 off suit.

This is what is so tough about playing these levels. If you play an hand strong you could just as easily run into AK or 83. Its that simple.

Don't even think that guy is calling for information either people. This is stupidity at its basest level. When can i play higher limits.

Hello...?

Lol - all in with the best hand and suffer back to back suck outs to bust out - aments

2007-07-11T00:12:00.000Z

Cunts!

What do these idiots think they are doing.

It is just coming up to the first break in the 20k guaranteed on Stars. I have about 6300 chips and the average is about 5k.

Everyone folds and the player to my right raises. I call with QT off suit.
flop KxQ - 2 spades.
he bets - could mean anything - i call
turn 10 spades - 2 pr me and i know i have gone ahead. This is further clarified for me by his desperate and unnecessary all in. I call.
He has KJ hearts. Lovely.
River - 9 -gives him the straight and half my chips.

That was the last hand before the break. I hate going into the break having lost a stack. Hey ho.

First hand back.

My Nemesis raises the minimum bet in early position. To me this means a weak hand that he wants to see a cheapish flop with A10/middle pair. I have 99 and i know i am ahead and just shove it all in. He folds when it arrives back to him but not before another player had called for all his chips. Fook. Race on.

Cards on their backs. Pocket sevens?! Erm...np...?

The flop was Kx7 - and that was that.

ALL HIS CHIPS - 77- then he "lol"'d in the chatbox, the classless cunt. So i unleashed a small but intellectual verbal bashing upon him. He said "ok you can rest now". At that point i let fly with the "R" rated version.

Laters. I'm off to play tourneys until my eyes fall out or my bankroll is gone.

GG muppets

Today i gave a lot of my winnings to charity!

2007-07-10T22:27:00.000Z

That charity being the ever needy succession of players at the low limit poker tables. I played some triple draw and misread a hand, lost 1 stack. There was an idiot player at the table who kept moving all in pre flop. I waited for genuine hands then could only draw aces and hit pairs. 2 and 3 stacks.

I logged off for a while and came back later to play some cash (I had won 4 buyins already this morning) and just wanted to repair some of the triple draw damage. 3 and 4 stacks in very quick succession. The first was against a very aggressive player who was hitting everything, i should have known better, but refused to fold my A on an A high flop - he had AK. I see him call all in pre flop w A10 and lose to KK so i know he is wreckless. I have 56 and call in mid/late position, he calls too. The flop comes Q56. Beautiful. I bet - he raises. I pause and shove - he calls. He has Q5 for a flopped higher 2 pr.

I recover 1 buyin when i hit an ace high flush and he cant pass KK with the K high flush.

I then revel in watching him lose the $100 stack he has accumulated back to the table. Every red cent. No more to me however.

Later i call a raise in late position with J10. There is just me and the raiser to the 10 high flop. He bets i call. I narrow him to over cards or an over pr. He fires again on the turn. I call. The river is a 10! He bets i raise. He moves all in (i see this all the time here with an over pair they cant let go of) i call - he has A10. FUK!

So in that hand, between the 2 players heads up and the board, we had all the 10's in the deck. Earlier we had shared 3 of the decks 4's and aces prior to this. Arse.

So i have hugely dented my stackage.

The good news? There are tourneys starting all the time. Woo.

I also played some cash on William Hill today having singned up to them through Gatsby's blog and rake offer. I was playing much better and was way ahead on the full ring cash table. I sat with £15 - left with £53 after what felt like an hour. Just played tight and my good hands better than others. I cashed out £20 which is £5 more than i deposited. This means my actual bank account shows a profit (£5!) on the day, and although my online BR took a heavy blow i think it is easily recoverable.

Good luck ma homies

3pm and all's well

2007-07-09T14:43:00.000Z

Hey gang

I thought this was going to be a bit of a sad post as after hitting $322 the other day i went on a moronic rampage yesterday. I played short handed, full tables, mtt's and sng's and cash. I literally played all day and won fuck all. I must have gone through about $80. I was playing bad, calling with weak hands pre flop and not letting go when i hit the flop in some way. On top of this i lost all the races and missed all my draws. I was annoyed with myself and clearly tilted but couldn't stop. At one point yesterday i logged off Pokerstars and immediately fired it up again to play 2-7 triple draw there were no tables available so i played a few HU games instead.

The reason this is not a sad post is because like any addict, when i woke up this morning i fired up the laptop just wanting to play "The Poke". I saw a 180 - $4.40 was almost full so i joined. I only went and won the fucker! Unbelievable. $216 ship it.

I went chip leader with about 90 left but not by along way. By the time we were getting to the bubble i was about 11th -15th and not planning on bubbling. A few all in's with everyone folding served me well. Down to 2 tables i lost a crucial pot for half my shortish stack. A player limped in first. He was short and rather than seeing a trap i saw weakness. When it came to me i had AK and moved all in. He paused for ages which is good news for me. He called with QT off suit. Ha! The flop was much less amusing than the call giving him trip tens and the turn a Q for the "salt in wounds" full house. Muppet.

I head into the final table last and seriously low. I had 6k to the chip leaders 39k. The next stack to me had 25k. I was just going to raise and try to double up using cards and/ or position. I picked up the blinds and then lost a huge pot which left me crippled.

There was a raise in first, a newly short stack moves all in. I am on the button with AK and move all in. First calls and shows nearly the worst hand he could have - AK. We are up against 33 which holds. I think its over but we split a small side pot to leave me with just over 2k. The bb is 1200 for fucks sake. I move all in whatever my next hand is. Its 98 and i'm all in. Two players call. The flop is a beautiful 89T with 2 hearts. There is a bet and a fold and i see i am up against A7. I hold and triple up. 10k

I hang around, slightly less desperate and push with A3. I make a heart flush which beats my caller foir a 20k pot.

I get some severely needed breathing room when i am in the bb with a pretty looking 63 diamonds. There are 4 limpers to me. Nice one. The flop is 477. If i could just catch a 5 i'll have a well disguised straight. Amazingly i get a free card. """"5"""" Amazing. I check and late position bets. I raise al in - he calls with A4 off suit (?). I take it

I now have 40k and seriously think there is a chance i can win.

I pick up good pots by reraising all in pre flop with AK and 99 forcing the aggressors to fold.

It's now 6 handed and the game dries up. Raises are rarely called and it is a very serious game of poker. I know something has to give- (it's usually me) - there is a lot of blind stealing going on. I call a raise from the shortest stack with A10 spades in the bb. I check the Q high flop to him. He bets small. I know he hasn't got it so i raise him all in. He "lol"'s and folds. I told him i had AQ and he said "nice check" i thanked him. Nice.

I am now chip leader with 77k but it's tight at the top.

Down to 3 and the lead is switching between us.

Then a monster developed in the blinds. The button strangely folds and i raise the bb with 86 diamonds. He calls. The flop is Jx8. I be and he calls. The turn is an amazing 6. I move all in and he calls with J10. Bootiful.

I am now on 155k with double 2nd place.

I hands later i raise the button with 22. I am reraise by the sb, the guy i just beat with the 68. I think and move all in. He calls with AJ and i flop a set.

HU with 200k to 60k

We exchange blinds for 3 hands. Then i raise with 67. He calls. The flop is 6J7. I bet, he raises all in and i call. I avoid jax and tens and seal another one.

So the thing i MUST learn. Is don't fucking play when you know you are playing like a retard. You'll play too many games. Play then badly and undo all the hard work in a flash.

It's tough to win money. It's too easy to lose it. Listen to your heads people.

BR = $441
Sharkscope profit = $904
ROI = 14%

Check back

2007-07-09T13:47:00.000Z

I have just completed a draft post and it has gone in the "June" section. Its funny as fook. I can say that cos it's pasted in and not my writing. Check it out. It has a Zoolander quote as the title.

"Just when I thought that I was out they pull me back in" Michel Corleone - The Godfather Pt III

2007-07-07T23:33:00.000Z

It wasn't that long ago that i was thinking of quitting online poker, but as you know i have been running well of late and i have just capped it by winning a $4.40 - 180. Its been on the cards for sometime with several late finishes. As i reported live from the "virtual felt" yesterday i said that my BR was $110, up from $70 on the same day. Having arrived home from an easy days work today i hit 1 for 1 and my "roll" is now $322.

WOOOT!

I was playing good from the start and with tomorrows big tourney in mind I thought, "lets just see how well i can run here and how long i can last".

Some key hands

There was a raise in early position and i put him on a decent hand with no other info to go on. I had AK on the button and was going to reraise but i was reading the blog of Mr Amatay recently and he said, regarding cash play, that he was not getting too excited pre flop. So i just called to see what the flop brought. The flop came a nice AA5 with 2 spades and he bets 50 into me - the minimum bet. I paused and then raised here. First i want to know if he indeed has a weaker ace and second i want more money in this pot and calling 50's isn't gonna do it. He called the raise. The next card was a blank and again the 50 was bet. This time i thought i'll pause and call showing a bit of weakness? The river didn't change much and he bet larger and i raised nicely but not too big, he called with QQ. Lol at giving me no credit! ME!

Then it just went mental and i scooped about a billion smallish pots. I raised on some sooted connectors and won the blinds. How nice it is to have stolen like this and then to pick up a real hand right after. I got QQ, still in late position. Raise standard 3xbb - rarely do i deviate from this actually. A short stack moved in, i called he had some "ace/pants" hand. Nice

I was last to act in a limped pot with KJ and the flop came Jxx. It was checked to me - so i bet. Obviously. First position moved all in. There is no way I am beat here and correctly put him on a worse J. He shows J3. Hilarious. Yum yum more chips.

There were many more smallish pots before...

I am in the bb with A8 diamonds. There is an over raise on the button which i call. The flop is a AJx. I check and he over bets this. This confirms my suspicions. I think he is weak and move in he calls all in with 55. Mmmmm.

A guy at the opposite side of the table has been mixin it up a bit and i call a good sized raise from him on the button with AT. The flop is an almost perfect ATx with 2 spades. He is first to act and moves all in. Its a mad bet and i have 2 pr. Easy call. He has AQ hearts and i win a packet.

We are down to 27 and i have 30k. The average is 10k. Woo! Feelin good and focused.

No real highlights from this period and i had to pass some strong hands and just picked up and dropped small chips. By the time the final table rolled up i was around 4th or so.

9th and 8th busted soonish which is always welcome. Then it went a bit pear shaped for me. I saw 72 about 3 times and 52/53 more times than i can remember.

I raised AK and laid it down to heavy action on a low flop.

Active player raised in early. I reraise strong with AK in mid. One of the blinds flat calls. EEk! The original raiser folds. The flop is low - he leads out betting over half the pot. I have nothing and fold. He told me he had Aces. Woo. Escaped. No king flopping - thankyou!

A similar thing happened later with another player telling me AA after i folded. I was like "yeah yeah ok" But i had nothing, so got away cheap anyway.

I completed the sb with 97 and the flop came X97. I was against the aggressive chip leader in the bb. I checked and he checked. (Doh!). The turn was a T. I checked he bet. Here we go! I moved all in. He thought and called. He has T6. He he. Double up and into second place.

I then picked up some semi good hands and got the blinds and minimal action.

A moster pot occurred with 3 left. I raised the button with 66. The sb, the aggressive player moved all in. I knew this wasn't necessarily strength and i was willing to gamble. He showed A8 off suit. Hmmm. I held. A FOOKIN MAZIN. And i go top for the first time for a while.

Raised the button w JJ and "aggression" called. The flop was a bootiful J10x with 2 diamonds. He check called a decent bet. The turn was a Q. I bet very strong. This was a mistake on my part i think. This Q could have meant i was far ahead or way behind and if i was wrong i was fooked. He paused long and i realise i'm ahead and i'm just saying "call... call". Well... i reckon he lives next door and heard these messages and folded! Poop!

By now 3rd place has less than a third of my chips and i am repeatedly folding to his all ins. I pick up 22. Not the best - but i call and hold against his AQ off suit.

HU.

UNBELIEVABLE!!!! Should have been over on the third hand.

I raise the button with 47 diamonds. He calls. The flop is an angelic 563 rainbow. I'm like "I love you!". He checks - i bet - he moves all in. LOOOOLLLOLOLOLOLO

He shows 75 clubs. All in with a 5 - 7 kicker. I laugh. The turn is a K and the river.......

........

4 - SPLIT POT!!!!!!

MOTHER FUCKER

I say nothing and crack on. I am severely narked though and almost tilt it off when I double him up the next hand by limping with A2. He raises, lol obviously. I move all in. He calls and hits 2 pair with A10. FOOK

I am in a tough spot now and even though i have got 60k left he is reraising my raises and i am passing. I figure that i know what an average hand is so i am pushing anything above this.

I pick up K9 and when he limps i move all in. He calls with Q3 clubs (erm...?) I hold and double up.

Back to roughly equal.

The next hand is sick. For him! LOL. I check with Q4 diamonds. The flop is Q high and he leads out. He could be doing this with any pair. I move all in. He calls and shows Kings. I can't believe it! And can only hope. Hope is rewarded and i river a 2 outer and hit my Queen! Amazing! In my mind that makes up for that crazy split pot earlier.

I now have about 5.5x his chips and the very next hand I limp the button with 99. He moves all in - I call - He has A7 and there is no help for you tonight young man!

I played very well and obviously got lucky at times. My hands held up more often than not but i was never all in until the final table. I obviously got extremely lucky with that Q on the river, but the way I see it, he got extremely lucky to survive earlier against a made straight, never mind one pair, and it should have been over then. Its just nice not to have to crash out and wait for Mr Variance to reward you another day.

Well, good luck my loves. Stay focused and strong. I truly believe this blog is helping my play and just hope it continues.

BR - $322
Sharkscope - Profit - $726
ROI -12%

The Beatles once said "its getting better all the time"

2007-07-07T00:03:00.000Z

Today i got up really late which was totally not the plan as i have got to be up for work in the morning. Yes that's right, i have a day of work booked. 175 quids for three hours in Aylesbury. It would be rude not to. I sometimes work as an entertainer performing as characters for corporate clients or private functions and parties. Tomorrow i am a stilt walking giant/ BFG character for kids at the Roald Dahl museum should be a laugh, it usually is.

As for the poke. I was not feeling the sng vibe so i sat at a cash table. Given that my "roll", such that it is has now built to the heady heights of $70, i thought i would play a bit of cash now that i could afford to lose a tenner here and there. Anyway I'm glad i made that decision. Ha! What a hilarious donkey festival that is. I used to play cash all the time and the 25/50NL tables on party was where i had my most success. Since bankroll/money problems and no job i have reduced volatility by not playing them . I sat down thinking i would play tight aggressive. I had no problem laying down nice hole cards if it didn't develop well but i would raise any hand i wanted to play pre flop. This was a standard raise for all pairs 22-AA and from all suited conns 56 upwards. I literally just played the cards and the board and left about half an hour later having tripled my buy in - happy days!

I played a couple of multi table sng's tonight and have just finished first in one where i shouldn't have even cashed. I was looking at pictures of Claire Forlani on the internet. All clothed and above board (grrr, more's the pity lol) and suddenly my table popped up and i accidentally selected to reraise all in!

I was in the bb and there were a couple of limpers. The button made a decent raise, the sb reraised all in, now i reraised over the top of him and the button called. Eeek! I looked at my hand to see the pitiful and embarrassing 25 off suit! The sb turned over K7 clubs and the button, pocket rockets. Fook.

The flop came 355 - Ha! I held and tripled up. I apologised to the "ace man" and he was cool. Like a mystical Obi Wan he advised me to use my chips wisely.

I reraised a playa all in with AQ, he paused and called with AJ. I'd flopped a ten (top pair) and called a fools unnecessary bluff. I called the now very active "ace mans" all in with JQ out flopping his A8 off suit. Down to heads up, I just put him all in nearly every hand as by that time the chip counts were me 22,000 him 1000. Lol.

This takes my current BR on Stars to $110. My Sharkscope, which was once in shatters, to a $514 profit with an ROI of 6% and rising. I checked my OPR earlier too which scores me at something like 80% and places me about 30,000th of 280,000 players on the Pokerstars Network. As it goes at the moment i am happy with my performance and these tools being available online serve to keep me in check with myself.

So thats cash games back on track, full ring stt's are good, multi sng's good, short handed (inc turbo) good. The only thing that i am really hankering for is a decent MTT win. If that were to happen i think i would soil myself!

...And Finally

You may know that Stars runs a tourney at midnight (GMT) for a $10+1 buy in with a guaranteed prize pool of 15k. First is usually $4.5-5k. There are 15 minute levels with 3000 starting chips. Good value despite 2k+ runners (better than the lottery). Now they have introduced a tourney at 7pm which is again the same buy in, the same guarantee but 10 minute levels with 1500 chips.

BUT.... BUT, they are now starting a low buy in to run alongside their big Sunday tournies with 100k guaranteed! A slice of $100k for $11? How can you not be in this? I looked at the lobby today there are already over 13,000 people signed up. Madness, but i will be there. Oh yes. I will be there.

Good luck everyone

Nice one

2007-07-05T23:21:00.000Z

Just a quicky.

Last night after posting i played a $5, 45 man sng opn stars in which i played shit at he start but then pulled it back and finished second. I always seem to donk chips at the start of tournies and often bust making myself desperate too early. The other option is that i sit up, focus and sort is out. I really need to make sure i don't lie down and play. Anyway the final table play was laughable and i was zoned and took down the $48 for second place. Incidentally i got all the money in with the best hand but it didn't hold.

Today i played a few $5 sng's without cashing but then came second in and 18 man sng for $27. Feeling pretty good about it all and am thinking about sticking around in these for a while. I was trying to get to a certain amount built in the 3 dollar 6 man turbo's. I will stay play these but i am definitely getting easily frustrated playing them and although i cash more often than not i don't take them at all seriously. I think the slightly higher doesn't risk much more and can increase potential earning speed.

I am just in the 15k on stars while i write this. Just had JJ -3 times in 13 hands. One laid down after my continuation bet was called on an A high flop and 2 double ups.

The first was resisting the temptation to reraise with JJ in the sb. I called the late position raise and the flop came 10 high. The flop was 10 high with 2 spades. I checked with the intention of raising the flop. I checked, he bet and i flat called instead. The turn was a J but a spade. We went check check. The river was a beautiful 10. I bet out - he raised strong. I paused for ages, doing my best "is my low flush good here acting". I raised eventually and he called with the nut flush and i took it down.

The second was deciding to reraise from an early position raiser. He instantly moved all in and i knew he had AK. Now my reaction of old is call. My new reaction is fold. Its early days and we would be racing. But then i was just compelled to call thinking i had the best hand, all be it marginal. I was correct and i took his chips too.

As i was writing that paragraph i just busted believe it or not. I became tilted by another player which is quite unusual for me. This clown raised it to 600 pre flop with the blinds as 25/50. Everyone folded and he showed QQ. He then moved all in about 5 hands running either pre or on the flop. Then he and i were involved in a hand. He limped (1), another limper (2), a raise in late (3), i called in the bb with AJ. The flop was A high with 2 clubs. I wanted to find a bigger ace now if i had to and i led out. 1 called, 2 folds and 3 raises on the short stack and is all in. I call, 1 calls. The turn is a 3rd club. I check to him and he moves all in. I am forced to fold and they showdown (1) A7 off suit, one pair (3) has 333 and wins. If i had played that hand i would have lost the small main pot but won a huge one against him, had loads of chips and busted that cunt.

The next hand he raises and someone calls. A late position player raises all in. Quite a substantial raise. He instantly calls as does the other player. The cards on their backs. Main raiser AQ clubs, second player , the caller has 75 off suit. Our man crazy has the monster A2 off suit. Turn 2, river 2. Nearly triples up.

Later i limp a pot just to try and catch this fool out. No action.

He raises early, i have AJ and move all in, convinced i am ahead of whatever shit he has. He insta calls with 1010. A low board and i am out.

Really fucked off he bothered me too much. I would have never played this hand like this against anyone else. I just hated his play and wanted him gone. I definitely could have called, seen and flop, folded and lived to take his chips another day.

Good luck everyone.

Oh yeah, just saw Roman Polanski's Oliver Twist. Not great but Sir Ben Kingsley as Fagin is AWESOME.

15k guaranteed

2007-07-04T23:43:00.000Z

Pathetic attemptSo little to report. Dripped chips like i knew nothing about the game.

Was at about 2k after starting with 3. Pick up QQ in first position. Double up ahoy!

I limp- so does every other fooker

flop dangerous 533 w 2 clubs. I check and will see what happens next. I have no problem throwing this away now depending on the action.

Its good news - one guy bets strong and everyone else folds.

I read it perfectly and move all in - he calls on the 2 club and 335 flop - from a check raiser - a limper from first position - with A5 of hearts.

The turn is an A and i'm out.

I can only laugh and vent here. What else could i do?

Channel 4/5 Party sponsored programmes

2007-07-04T23:12:00.000Z

I really love watching poker on TV however heavily or badly edited it may be. I would prefer to be honest that they made unedited long final table programmes also available as an alternative so you could see how the pro's handle more "small" hand situations or those when they flop nothing etc.

The thing that really fooks me off is with the Party Poker programmes. I think Jesse May is a good commentator but, BUT, we are not watching the show to listen to him and Padraig Parkinson talking bollocks and giggling like a pair of muppets. We are not there for them at all. I hate the way that there are pro's at the table discussing hands, giving invaluable insight into their technique and personalities and we are forced to listen to these idiots. The added annoyance here is that the programme on so late that if you turn the volume up to hear the pro's, the people we all want to play like, those two ass clowns just get louder.

Vented

BTW - winning shit all today. Deposited some money on Will Hill through the deal on Gatsby's blog (link right) and played some of the tournies he plays in and cashes in so regularly. I was clearly no fit for a new site (although i really liked it) nor was i ready for the donkfest that developed. I lost a little bit playing Omaha and then busted out of 3, 2 dollar tournies. The good news is they are cheap and start regularly and have about a third of the runners to a Stars tourney. Bad news was the play really. I folded so much after raising as there was an all in and 12 calls in front of me. Hey ho. I'm sure on those its all about playing tight aggressive and really picking your spots. I think i'll have more cashes in tournies of that size.

Good luck everyone

The Fountain

2007-07-04T15:59:00.000Z

If you enjoy the feeling of your brain being fucked but cannot afford the drugs, you could do a lot worse then nipping down to your local Blockbuster and renting The Fountain, the most recent film from Darren Aronofsky.

The film stars Hugh Jackman and Rachel Weitz and centres around their relationship in three separate stories or states of existence. These periods are the present day or the 21st century where he is a scientist attempting to make a medical advancement that could cure the tumour in her brain. The second is 16th century Spain, he is a conquistador warrior type and she a princess. The third is set in the future where he is shaved head tattooed man living in what is essentially some kind of garden of Eden inside a "bubble- esque" space ship.

The story had a non linear narrative and, whist sometimes difficult to follow, was possibly one of the most original and beautiful films i have seen in a long time. I knew it was good when i started watching it after i played poker last night. It was about 5am but my brain, although tired, was still on the poker edge. I needed to relax and fall asleep so put a film on. By 5.30 i was propped up on one elbow, staring wide eyed at the screen just kind of mesmerised. When it had finished i then watched some of the extras until one of my eyeballs popped out of my head, turned to look at me and screamed "GO TO SLEEP YOU CRAZY BASTARD" so i did.

I would strongly urge all of you to watch it and make sure you watch the excellent extras. Whilst in Blockbuster or your local independent (pfff, yeah right) check out his other films "Pi" and the outstanding and haunting "Requiem For a Dream".

Fookin brilliant

Played till wayee too late

2007-07-04T15:39:00.001Z

So, bleeding eyes and all i sat down at a $4.40, 180 on stars after posting last night. What seemed like an eternity later i busted in 7th for $24. Fookin feel like a millionaire these days. Once again i will say i should have done better. My 99 lost to A2 off suit (humph) and i went into the final table towards the bottom of the tree.

I decided once again to make some push plays once we were down to 8. I managed to induce some folds and then my A10 was called by K10. I am happy to report that despite this event taking place on Stars the flop did not come KKK and i was able to double up to go second. This put everyone on about equal standings.

We didn't wee a flop for about a year, everything was decided pre flop and this got even worse when the blinds were 1k/2k and everyone was on about 30k. Some guy won a load after calling a reraise all in w AJ and hitting the A against the reraisers KK. it was to be this "ace catcher" that would be my undoing.

I lost a good chunk after trying to steal the blinds and getting reraised and having no real hand to call with call with. I moved up a gear again and would begin making all in moves with the Sklansky/ Kill Phil hands. This worked well as everyone was obviously eager to make more money. I did too but i'd rather give myself the best chance to win it all.

On my final hand, after not seeing anything higher than a Q for what seemed like ages, i raised all in w "ace catchers" hand of AJ only to find a divine role reversal, with "ace catcher" having pocket kings. As he was in charge of "ace floppage" he obviously didn't give me one and i am gone.

What i learned - I could have been more patient at the final table. Especially in retrospect of that AJ with players still to act after me. I should have payed more attention to the fact that despite blinds it is still the equivalent of an STT and should have played tighter. I had actually thought i was doing a good thing here though by going against the general flow of the otherwise tight table. Alas, the win once again eludes me.

My most recent standings in these look like this. It's better but not good enough.
1 - 7th
2 - 121st
3 - 12th
4 - 14th
5 - 116th
6 - 172nd
7 - 20th

Interesting fact at the table. I ran everyone through Official Poker Rankings - there was a player at the table, i was going to mention his name, but i won't. He has won over 18k in prizes but has a negative profit. Pretty sick. I don't want to be in that spot should i get a couple of wins in the bag.

What goes up....

2007-07-03T23:28:00.001Z

Its not much, but i placed 1st in 4 out of 4 in the low limit 6 handed turbo's on stars today for a $30 clear profit. Lets also not forget that is TAX FREE people! Woot!

Seeing how i was running so hot, i decided to enter the Stars midnight $10+1, 15k guaranteed (I was going to enter anyway, tee hee) and then I proceeded to get royally bummed. Nothing wrong with the way it went down, but just feel like a fishy for donking off all 3000 chips and lasting a whopping 27 minutes.

What went on -

I hadn't seen a hand really and so was still on 3k.

Lots of limpers so i am in mid pos with Q9 deemonds.

back round to the blinds and one of them makes it 90. Already in for 30 so its a no brainer after everyone else puts in.

Flop J76 with 2 diamonds.

Raiser bets, next position raises strong. I look at his chips. It says 1500. I move all in on that basis. Overcard, flush draw, runner runner straight draw possiblities.

As i suspected raiser folds.

Reraiser calls - 66 - flopped set 666

Ok race is on

Turn

6

Race is over - he has quads - balls

River 3 diamonds- giving me the flush - just to thoroughly take the piss.

Worse than this was that the 1500 he had, hadn't accounted for his strong reraise - ie, he had 500 on top of as well - so i'm left with 600.

Very next hand i have 44

one limper is in for *THIRTY*

I move all in 600

All fold to him

He must think "oh well its only *FIVE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY MORE*"

Calls with 88

Time to get lucky.....GO

Flop 387

Stop

Ho hum. Not disheartened. Just once again reminded that i often get into trouble by playing like a crazy mo fo in the early stages where all i can do is lose the tournament. As long as i keep remembering to learn this stuff it has to become habit eventually. Doesn't it?

A little bit of something, a $4.40 maybe, and then bed. My eyes are sore!

Good luck everybody

ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH

2007-07-02T22:34:00.001Z

I have played at least 4 - 4.40 - 180's on stars the last 2 days and been first in 3 of them and then not even final tabled. Finishing 20th - not even cashing. 15th ish and 14th.

In the most recent we were still in the first level - blinds 10/20 and i had amassed 11,260 in chips, The average was 1901.

How i got there;

saw a raise all in from a short stack - called by someone else - i raise all in - the caller - surprisingly - calls - the cards are me AK - caller Q8 spades - raiser 96 off suit.

Called a raise and someone moved all in - raiser folds i call with AK - he shows AA and i win... never happened to me before with those hands clashing.

I called a small raise in the bb with 24 clubs - flop Q24 - i move all in - he calls with KK

For an hour after that i really didn't play any significant hands only picking up and losing blinds. Had no cards and what i had missed the flops.

By level 7 i had lost 2k and was hanging about 9k.

At that level i see a raised pot multiway with A6 spades. The flop is KJx with 2 spades. I decide we are playing and raise the raiser all in. He thinks for a month and calls with QQ. Crying call IMHO. Ace on the turn and its over for him.

I'm back to third.

Pick up AA and Mr Allin does his job. I just raise to isolate and take 4k off him.

I have 20k and the average is 10k.

I feel good when i fold A10 in first despite my stack only to see an all in, a call, a reraise all in and a call. God knows where i might have ended up in all that.

Not sure what happened next but i got reraised when i had 1010 - felt good about it and played it. happy to see an over played AJ off suit. Not happy to see JJ on the turn and river.

Last hand. I limp AA in first. Flop JJK - sb bets - i call - turn Q hrts - bets i call - river K - bets i call - like a cunt... i know.

And i'm fucked.

I am just an absolute plank who, in my opinion has thrown away a potential $600 in winnings and ended up with $8 because i fell 3 times at the final hurdle.

The only upside in all this "Swimmingpool" has just come on the telly. My god she is fit!

(For those of you who didn't click the link, i mean the girl not the old author woman!)

Good luck you lot

EV

2007-07-01T22:45:00.001Z

Just posed a question on EV and someone said to look here. I was very grateful until i saw what it was but then couldn't help being grateful anyway cos it cheered me up.

Good luck all and thanks for dropping by!

At 3am last night, I'm gutted. Again

2007-07-01T02:01:00.000Z

Well hello there folks.

Last night I played in the $10+1 - $15k guaranteed on Stars. There were over 2200 runners and a first place prize of over $4500. In this event in the past i have braved that field to finish 80th and 12th in (successive days) for a $180 profit. Last night i went back to my old stomping ground. I did not cash restored a bit of faith in myself. (A bit low after no cash recently, no jobs, no auditions and reading UKGatsby's blog who only had to pay the buy in to an MTT and he makes it to the money. ;-) Just jealous, very impressive, and a good read.) Finishing just outside the money at 250th. It paid to 225. I could have hung on but i would have been blinded off and i was not
interested in just scraping into the money. Shit or bust, as we say.

(incidentally, they have increased the starting stacks from 1500 to 3000 with the same 15 minute levels. I think despite the size of the field, for 5 quid, how can you not have a pop at winning 5k?)

The edited highlights (and lowlights) go a bit like this.

Level 1 - KK - I reraised pre flop and reraised a bet on a low flop. He folds.

Level 2 - AK diamonds - Maniac is making regular over bets and all in plays pre flop. I have AK diamonds in the sb. He raises 800 - (the bb is 30). I believe i have a better hand and move all in he calls and shows JJ. Much better than expected but the K high flop gives me an early double up.

I managed to steal a few pots here and there through others being weak and having position. Nice when it works isn't it. People were playing generally quite tight. Raises with A4, A8, 58 all claimed the blinds. Unfortunately so did JJ, AK etc.

Interesting hand. I call a small raise in the sb with K10 diamonds and lead out on a J10x flop (with the J of diamonds) I bet, he min raises and i call. The turn is the ace of diamonds giving me the royal flush draw with any Q, J, 10, or diamond to win i check raise him all in and he folds.

Lose an annoying pot which i should never have hung around in. It was between me in the BB and villain the SB. The pot was unraised and by the river we had both made a FH, his was better than mine. The pot was too big and i shouldn't have even hung on.

We go into the first break having lost nearly 1000 players.

There are 1305 remaining

Average chips 5206

My chips 6110

After the break

Pocket Jax on the button with 2 limpers. I raise larger than normal to compensate. 2 limpers bot call. Flop is a scary QQ9- with 2 diamonds. (Hey, its Pokerstars. You know one has 99 and the other Q9..!) But no, they check to me and the bet takes it down#

again 1010 takes it down uncontested

Pocket 8's in the bb - there is a raise in first and a call in second. I go to raise and it probably would have been the best play considering his holding. I give credit to his position and call. The flop is a nice one 1075. I think anyone would like that with pocket 8's. I check to him and he bets, 2nd position folds, i just call. I am giving him 2 overs here so perhaps i should have raised right there. The 4 on the turn gives me the pair and the gutshot straight draw. I again check call. The river unfortunately isnt the 6...its the 8. Amazing. I bet about half his remaining chips and he calls. He actually had A10 off suit. I am surprised and was very nearly fucked. However i'm not and i now have a good amount of chipolatas.

That hand put me on 13k with the average still at 6k. Put me in 66th place.

Took a few more blinds with K10, AQ, A4,

I lost a chunk when i called a raise in position with 55 and was then squeezed by an all in from the blinds and folded. The hands were AK against QQ.I would have lost. Obvious fold but nice to see their cards were better.

I reraise the button with 44 as a shortish stack has raised in mid position. The bb goes all in he has a lot less chips than me. We all get it in my 44 takes the side pot from the mid raisers AQ and the blinds JJ takes the main pot.

I now have 11k with the average at 9 - they're closing...

Now level 8 and although my stack is above average, with the blinds as they are a raise of three times the bb is over 10% of my stack. I want to make some moves...

BAD HAND ALERT!!

Big stack raises in early. I am calling him. Before that though a smaller stack goes all in. I call and the big man calls. The flop is JJ7. I check to him. He bets small - i call. We check it down and the hands are; me - AQ - Big - 33 Small - AA. Whoops. My instinct given my recent desire to make a move was to move all in pre flop. So although i lost a chunk here, it could have been much worse.

Lots off limpers. I collect when i move all in with A4.

I raise and get called (yikes) in 2 spots. I have A6. The flop is a scary KJx. It checked to me and i take it.

Back to 12k and above average.

2nd break

525 remaining

Average 12942

Me 12020

Now the binds and antes are 1500 so couple of steals for a nice 3k

Someone raises just double the bb. I call from the bb with Q6. (Is this an automatic call in this spot with any 2 cards?) The flop is Q high all spades. I check raise the flop with the Q and the 6 of spades. He folds.

One limper in early. I raise AK. All fold.

Now 18k average 14

Call 3x bb raise in the bb with A9 hearts. The flop is nasty. 63K (one heart). I check to him and i am shocked and suspicious to see it checked as well. The turn is the 6 of hearts. Now if he has flopped a set things have got a lot better for him. If he hasn't, its a great card for me. I bet and he smooth calls. Arrrgh(?) The river is the 10 of hearts. Gives me the nut flush but 44 levels from the nuts. I pause. I love the flush card but not the board. I bet and he has selected auto fold Phew. Much easier than expected.

Up to 24k average 16 and i've doubled up since the break (less than 1/2 an hour)

The next hand i raise with K9 suited in late position. The button pauses and raises all in. I'm getting over 3 to 1 and I call. Pretty shitty to look at the rockets. Ho hum! The flop could be worse giving me the 9. The turn seals it with another 9! Cant fucking believe it. This does not happen to me!

Up to 33k

Few hands later i pick up AA in early. There is a limper and i am pretty sure i am due some "Poker God Retribution". I raise 4x the bb.They all fold.

40k average 19k I'm up 28k in 33 minutes.

One limper in late and i raise the button - he calls. I have 66. The flop is QKx. He checks i bet he calls. The turn is and x. It goes check check. The river is an ace he checks, i bet - what else can i do? - again he calls - shows pocket 10's. Ok, he won the hand but i hate the way he played it. He is behind to so many hands and at no point does he show any strength or desire to win the pot. Cost me a lump of chips the fucker. Reminds me of one of my pet hates in the game; the players who limp for whatever reason (but not to trap like AA in first, limping with a mind to reraise, that's a different play) and then call your all in. With hands like AQ to A8, 99 down to 66. You know what i mean. They didn't want to bet to eliminate the limpers or get information because common opinion says to get in cheap and see a flop. They're like "ok ok, cheap flop, call. Oh he's gone all in. I've got a pair. Call" Dumb asses.

The next hands see huge action where i would have flopped a flush and the next hand where, had i stayed, my 63 would have cracked QQ and AJ. Obviously correct plays by me in the long term but in the day 30k i could have had which would have put me top 10.

Nasty pot. I raised 88 and called a shorter stacks all in with over 2 to 1 odds. He has KQ and hits both of them. I was thinking today "should i have passed?" as that hand did represent the start of my undoing. But i think; (1) I was actually ahead when the money went in. And(2) i was getting the odds. So, although i lost a big chunk i cant help but think it was correct. The only thing i will say is that i knew it was a gamble hand so could have saved 7k or whatever it was to call. I lost 15k that hand.

Then i moved tables and am looking at everyones chips and see that as per usual they have put me right nest to a huge stack with over 3x my chips. He is currently 5th.

It folds to me and i raise his bb with my ace small. He moves all in. I have to fold.

I have 20k - grrrr

There is a raise and a call in front of me. I call with A7 suited (it is 3k to go) the flop is A10x - 2 clubs. The first player checks. Second bets. I am stuck. I feel I am behind but have top pair and it just goes through my head that why did i play this had if not to hit the ace. I can't just expect to flop the flush draw and be done with it. So i pause and move all in. This nearly works as the bettor has a long think before making the correct call with AQ.

I am out in 250th, just outside the money. Balls.

I will say this though. I was donking off cash at the low limits all day yesterday and I actually prepared for this tournament. I sat up properly, got a drink, hadn't played for a few hours up until that point, and took it seriously. I took longer to act and gave more respect to the players and the cards i was prepared to play. I guess what i am saying is, the money was significant. The low limits are a fucking grind and people, including me often play like shit because they can affors to lose. I think i'd rather play a bit higher and give myself a better shot at winning a significant amount of money where i will actually learn something and become a better player.

Sorry for the long post - i doubt you are even reading any more are you??

HELLOOO??

nothing...

Just me then....

Duck for dinner, mmmm!

Good luck everyone.

Seen some crazy cards dealt at the online tables??

2007-06-30T15:16:00.000Z

Imagine how these guys feel.

Five pocket pairs at a 6 handed table and then...?!

Response to comment

2007-06-30T11:04:00.000Z

Cadmunkey left me a comment on yesterdays post and i went to his blog to post a response. When i realised that the reply was quite long i thought i should just put it here instead as it a bit about playing where i currently do.

"I definately see your reasoning behind the cash game play and think its definately valid. I used to only play cash. In the beginning i used to literally throw money away learning to play poker at a NL50 cash table, no play chips for me! This was hilarious when I didnt even have a clue what beats what.

This came to a bit of a crunch last christmas. Obviously a better player, i built up $1k in no time on the NL25 tables at Party Poker. I just killed it after playing no poker for a while. My God! That feeling of seeing my account clock past a grand. Then i got all money conscious and couldn't stand to think about losing it. The balance took a few hits and i withdrew it and paid my tax bill rather than ride the downswing or crash altogether.

I went back to sng's and tourneys so that I might have an opportunity to win big cash whilst minimising my outlay and swings."

So there we are. I hope that gives an indication of where i am. That post has just made me realise that until i have a very decent win, or am earning money/working again I cant afford to play this game as well as i might.

Better?

2007-06-30T02:45:00.000Z

I have just busted out of a 5 dollar mtt on stars. 1600+ entered - first place was offering a tidy $1500,yes please, I was on about 8k in chips and the average was 5k. I just slipped into this zone. I was doing other things on the net but after playing some omaha today i was very flop conscious as oppose to being fixed on my hole cards. On top of this, around this point in the game (400 remaining) i was hitting flops and getting dealt good cards and chatting to the monkeys at the table, and they were monkeys. Bunch of fucking Muppet's. I was calm though and was doing well. What i did do was start calling peoples cards and being very vocal riling people up and mocking anyone in my way. This worked to great effect when my final hand came up. I was dealt Q9 hearts in late position and raised. The small blind had over twice as many chips as me after just tripling up with KK against 44 and AQ. He called. The flop came Q9A. Now he checks to me and i instantly move all in. This is not normal for me but fits to my recent play. He calls and i love the fact that i have annoyed him enough to call with the "stealth monster" that is A6. Fucking hilarious. To a raise pre flop and a bet all in. Fucking Muppet. The turn is a 6 so the joke is on me when his 2 pr holds. That, incidentally was for a 20k pot that would have put me in the top 10 as we approached the bubble.

Does anyone know where these people live. I've just sharpened the end of my baseball bat with my Swiss army knife, splintered it with razor blades and bought 700 copies of Harrington on hold em - highlighting a section on "obvious folding situations". I will leave their corpses rotting in a puddle of their own blood with only page upon page of poker strategy to soak it up.

Long term??

+EV

Fat lot of good that does me now

End of BR? Pt 2

2007-06-29T11:03:00.000Z

Well, that went well.

I was too tired to post last night having played the last game with my eyes actually hurting form tiredness, but i won the sng, taking my BR back to the heady heights of $24. I was joint last with 5 left and just really changed gears. People were playing tight and obviously wanted to cash. I don't know if this is standard or not but if i am in last place i just think it can't get worse. I either bust or i take risks to get paid. So i moved in about every 3 hands or so and i don't think i got called. This took me to second where i could afford to play like a grown up again. The rest were busted, by me pretty much, and by the time we got to HU i had about 11000 to his 2000. He did scrape back a little bit but didn't really adjust to HU play.

It bothers me that my balance was almost zero yesterday and about $100 at the end of last month when the tilt monster took over all my games for me. When i am tilted, i just abuse people and fire up game after game, even at the lowest limits this can really devour your hard earnings in very little time. It's funny, but this time i am actually trying to employ some kind of strategy regarding my bankroll. In the past i have just withdrawn money from my bank account and played on that. I would play above my level because i couldn't afford to bankroll myself properly. But i could afford to keep rebuying small and losing. Well, i could afford to BR myself properly, i guess i just don't trust myself with a significant amount of money. Before i ever do that i need to calm down, act slower and practice a more consistently disciplined game and have more respect for others. As we all know, given the "ABSOLUTE CUNTS!!", playing on Pokerstars this is hard to acvhieve.

Today is a new day.

End of BR? Pt 1

2007-06-29T02:05:00.000Z

It is stil the same night and with near the last of my funds and sat at a 6 seater turbo and a 9 seater regular. In fine style and running in line with the last post i busted out of the 6 seater before the money making a play i would make all day long in the same spot. That is the only good news about it. It went down like this.

I am in first position and limp with J9 off suit. Several limpers including habitual caller on the button. Flop comes J49 rainbow. I bet, he min raises, i have less chips than him but there is no question the i have the best hand. He knows i think he has been calling too much so i type "ok" and move in . He pauses about a second and calls with.......45 suited - no flush draw. I love it and instantly hate it when he turns another 4. Why oh why??

I sat for about 10 minutes watching and abusing him. I will not name and shame here but his sharkscope results speak for themselves. His graph looks like a slide, he has an average ROI of minus 36% and has a profit of minus $2800. Jesus! I told him and made sure everyone at the table knew what a cunt they were dealing with and then he was out in 4th. Ha.

I really need to be calmer. Any help much appreciated

i'll let you know about the other one - currently 3rd - 6 remain

Once again i am rendered (almost) speehless

2007-06-29T01:20:00.000Z

Today i have near decimated my pitiful bank roll. It had been one of those days i'm afraid. It started well enough, winning an early stt and my sharkscope sng profit topping $470. Unfortunately what goes up must come down. I must say that everywhere i turned i seemed to get shafted my KK by pocket 4's, my aces to pocket 10's and the last straw just now, my QQ to 63 suited to bust me out of another tourney. I could have perhaps escaped some of the hands that fucked me today. What i cant seem to get away from are the crazy pre flop calls, the runner runners and the idiots who want to justify their play. I ponder peoples holdings and am sometimes correct and sometimes laugh at how far off i am. This is not necessarily to do with bad reading ability but the sheer ridiculousness of the betting patterns given their current situation. I don't even feel like stopping playing which is the worst thing. I smell a zero BR report coming up. The last tourney i was playing so tight and to run my ladies into that muppet hand. 63, well it just doesn't seem just. I know that all of this will even out in the long term, however i know i am making mistakes too and sometimes getting lucky. Therefor, until i eradicate my own mistakes there will be no evening out possible and we will continue as we are. There as so many variables in a single tourney that to play well, get cards and to hit flops requires such focus, skill and luck i am honestly surprised anyone wins and cashes well regularly. Right now that seems impossible.

Still, we crack on. One day my friends. One day.

Oh yeah. The film "The Jerk" with Steve Martin was on while i was playing. Chuckles! Definately worth a watchfor any comedy fans in the house.

A good idea?

2007-06-28T16:36:00.000Z

Just had an idea and posted it on Paul Phillips' blog. I am currently applying for acting work and thinking of ways to make money. See what you think.

Hey Paul,

I have been reading for some time and often wanted to comment but the thing is; i am reading your blog forward from its conception and doubt you'll be interested in comments on things that happened in the early part of 2004! I am currently reading March 2005 and hope that one day i may catch you up to see what you are actually doing in the now.

I am a young actor (and poker fan) from the UK. Like many others i am still trying to make my big break (even a small one would be nice) into this cruel business. Whilst reading an old post of yours and the general banter and comments regarding Phil Hellmuth, I stumbled upon an idea.
Do you think it would be possible for me to obtain sponsorship to major tournament events under the assumed identity of "Camp Hellmuth". "Camp" is an outrageous, openly gay card player and PH obsessive. He has learned poker by the book, (Phil's, obviously) and is now making his way onto the pro tournament circuit. He is always eager to sit as near to Phil as possible and would endeavor to track him down mid break for hand advice (especially at the urinal). He would also bring pink and sparkle to every event (additional idea- originally pink and sparkle were to describe his glittery appearance, but depending on money offered, they, Pink and Sparkle, could be is fag hag fan club). If Phil were to have a blow up, "Camp" would down cards immediately and rush over and make sure his idol is okay and protect him. That, or he would see it as his cue to start a more elaborate strop of his own.

This could be very funny for some time (one tournament??). I imagine if it were well strategised and went on for long enough, it could result in Phil going absolutely "boo loo", living like a hobo in the corner of a card room. Gibbering incoherently about "good times past", and "bad beats after holding the nuts pre flop". Surrounded by, and living out of boxes of unsold merchandise, constantly reading and rereading " Play Poker Like the Pro's", trying to figure out where it all went wrong.

Anyway - you get the gist. I would offer you a piece of all future merchandising and sponsorship rights. Lets make some money. Kerching.

Faaaaaaaaaaaaaakkkkkk

2007-06-28T02:57:00.000Z

Just bused out of the 3 dollar rebuy on stars in 540 something -

i am so angry

payouts started at 504 - i could have waited. Some cunt kept moving all in with his 10k stack - average was 25k - i had 30 - so it was never going to be an easy call from a short stack. I passed decent hands. When he raised the button all in and i had 77 in the sb i called. My happiness at seeing 33 was short lived when the flop came A24 and i just knew i was going to get shafted. The turn was the 3 - goodnight Irene!

That knocked me a lot, plus i had been card dead for about an hour and the best hand i'd seen in ages had just been raped by two crabs. Without really thinking about the raise to "new stack" ratio I raised Q10s pre flop and was shocked to see my stack drop to 13.5k. I just didn't think. (the fact that it was 4am have anything to do with that? Ed) (Hang on we don't have an editor) Anyway my raise was called - a shortish player (5'2" lol) moved all in from the blinds. It was my last 13k to call and the pot was 40k. I called hoping for overs. He did have overs. 2 of them. 2 fucking aces. I flopped a 10 and a J - giving me some hope but no more. Fuck it. I get so passionate about busting i really want to cry and smash stuff all at once. Its the prospect of just having fucked off $5000 for first place coupled with the fact that i am a fiery red head.

I did see the most audacious bluff ever though. Button raises - both blinds call - flop QJ5 - 2 hearts - all check the flop - turn Q - the bb bets strong the buttn calls - the river is another 5 making the board - Q5JQ5 - with 3 hearts. The bb bets and leaves himself 2k behind. The button pauses and i'm thinking he has the odds to call like 4 to 1 or something if he has anything decent. However - he moves all in - the bb pauses and folds. He folded his last 2k for a 34k pot. The button showed K10 off suit for a busted straight draw. Madness on both parts.

Also tonight i limped with 56 off suit - got raised and called as we were in the rebuy period. The flop came 464 - i moved all i was pissed my opponent insta called - until i saw his cards - KQ - my hand held and he got all mardy saying i had made a bad play. Ok.... I called 400 more pre flop at 2 to 1 with a speculative hand during the rebuy period. You called 3000 with K high. I think it was thee that maketh that mistake.

Anyway you lot - get to bed. dont you know what time it is. I'll be back tomorrow. Just try and stop me.

Mini Cash

2007-06-27T19:17:00.000Z

Just came fifth in a 180 man $4.40 on PokerStars for the much lower than anticipated sum of $45. Not bad you may say, but given the time taken, it isn't even minimum wage. I definitely should have placed higher but a few things happened along the way;

1) For the first hour and a half the best hand i had was AJ suited. No pairs.

2) When I picked up aces in the bb and everyone folded to me

3) I called a pre flop raise from an intelligent player, who check folded his QQ on an A high flop when i had pocket aces. I should have reraised him pre flop or played it slower on the flop. I just assumed, wrongly that he was slow playing his Ax hand.

4) I got shafted at the final table when we were down to about 7, i lost a lot of chips. I just thought fuck it, i might finish 7th or i could turn on the aggression and place higher. This worked a treat and by the time someone decided to call i actually had a decent hand and doubled up. Eventually going from 7th to 1st.

5) The button raised and i reraised all in from the BB, after moving in about 50 billion times on the bounce. He said he folded pocket Jax. I doubt it. I told him i had deuces and that it was a weirdly conservative laydown against the table mentalist. The whole table agreed saying they would have called - a shame i wasn't playing any if those morons then because i actually had pocket Kings. Bollox

6) I raised with KK and was called by the player on my left. Flop AQQ - poop! I check raise the flop and am reraised. I fold

7) I called a raise out of position with J8 suited. The flop gave me the 4 flush and rather than check and allow him to bet, I moved all in with the flush draw on the flop. My opponent insta called with AK on the A high flop. No draw for him but i missed.

8) There was a player 2 to my left (so always in the bb when i'm stealing from the button) who i insulted early on at the final table. He said nothing but just became the thorn in my side. He called all my raises and made moves on me at good times or times when i wasnt wiling to do all my chips on a marginal hand. Tough when the blinds are high.

9) This continued and was my demise. He had just moved all in pre flop and won with his A2 spades against AQ. I called his all in with A8 - convinced i had a better hand - i did, but i lost anyway against his monster K7 when he hit running kings on the turn and river. I moved all in now short with A2 and he had no problems calling me with "Pro Players Favourite" Q8 clubs.

I'm sure he just wanted to bust me. He did. Bravo.

Today was pretty weird for another reason too. After writing the words "naked children" in the past couple of posts i have seen my hit rates increase. I know my writing is good but is this really what it takes to capture an audience these days? Anyway today i got comments from the following players and bloggers - Yorkshire Pudding, Cadmunkey, Cell 1919, and Amatay. All in 1 day...? Is this purely coincidence? How come they all came today? How come 3 of them are from Yorkshire, where i am originally from? Do they know this? Its as if they were all out having a drink and said "have you seen that blog" and they agreed to come over and say hi today. I just called Molder and Scully anyway, and they have assured me they will have answers by the end of the week.

I'll keep you posted. In the meantime my little ones, sleep well, and as my mum used to say, "Don't stay up all night on that thing". (I mean your computer playing poker, not your ladder)

Worrying

2007-06-27T01:04:00.000Z

Still playing like a genius one minute, rejoicing in my ability to dodge hands and watch others self destruct, and a retard the next, calling raises in any position with the now devastating "pretty hands" and not being able to pass any semblance of a connection to the flop.

The real reason for posting, and i shall be brief, is a worrying one. You may recall that in a previous post i wrote something along the lines of "win people, win more than you have ever won and run like small naked children through fields of cash". I am paraphrasing but if you think along the lines of "comedic gold" you will be in the right direction. Anyway i put tags on the post, one of which was "naked children". Again this was funny to me as i thought it might catch some attention. Anyway the "worrying" title of this post is because already that has indeed happened. Ladies and gentlemen, "naked children" have drawn visitors to my site. Slightly less than my writing "Christian Bale" in the "Empire of the Sun" post, but only just. Naked children have drawn the second highest amount of traffic.

2 things -
1) - why not start labeling your posts with odd titles - you may draw a huge alternative following. I am going to label this one "Monkey Tennis" (respect to Alan Partridge) and see what happens.

2) - I have always been the kind of guy that goes out of his way to please people, (I think it goes deep within my psyche as to why this may be. But lets just blame it on the parents separating), with that in mind and given my new wave of paedophilic poker fans i shall now be incorporating pictures of my favourite poker hands/ celebrities along side my new feature "Naked toddler of the week"

Mmmmm, enjoy

"Who are you tryin' to get crazy with, ese? Don't you know I'm loco?" Hansel - Zoolander

2007-06-26T01:10:00.001Z

I tried to post this a while ago in response to a comment left on highstacks' blog by a friend of his, "Tank"- it is on the comments on the "Running Badly, playing Badly and losing" page from 18/09/06 - please read it - its hilarious and his blog is one of the best i have read. While you are there please read "Anger management" from 8/11/06. Fookin hilarity.

The pasting below i believe was originally left on a 2+2 forum and lifted from there by Tillerman for his blog. I have copied it below for your amusement. Enjoy.

Please picture the scene - You are a young female - in cyberspace - seeking some hot, text on text, flirt action and this is what you get.....

bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They fucking charge your ass.
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli3: thats it.
bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty Fuck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't fuck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of shit.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the fuck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh shit
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you fuck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh shit
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

Why is it...

2007-06-20T16:26:00.000Z

...that you sometimes get a hand and go "ooohh, that looks nice", although it may not be a good hand, "i'll play that". Then you see a raise and a reraise in front of you and you still want to play it. Now, in your mind, it has gone from a cute, speculative, "see a cheap flop" hand into a well disguised monster which, if you called the reraise would be so well disguised (as only a mentalist would play it in this situation) that given the 220 to 1 shot at the perfect flop - like 555 - your 75 of diamonds could crack someones big pocket pair.

Just busted from a low buy in tourney on pokerstars - a load of loose bastards - no raises were being respected. I find this a difficult situation in poker. Do you still make the raises anyway even though you'll get 11 callers (the table only seats 9 for Christs sake). Or do you limp more and hope to hit more flops. I remember when i first started playing Omaha i would lose so much money by raising pre flop - then i made a tonne back by limping and playing the flop better than most at the table.

Anyway - how i busted here was quite interesting.

I am in the sb and see about 5 limpers and have A10. I have just limped in this same spot with a decent hand last time so i decide to raise. I raise about 5x the bb and clear everyone except one who makes a simple call. I love this by the way. People go "erm, right its only 50 lets see a flop, oh! now its 5x that amount, well ok, if you say so" and pay up. Anyway the flop came down Ax5 with 2 spades. I know i have the best hand and hope he has a weaker A. I bet the pot and he flat calls, now i am sure he has a weak ace. The turn comes Q. I move all in and he instantly calls.

What has he got here ladies and gentlemen. Pocket Queens. Is the answer to this conundrum. Needless to say i didn't put him on this hand and the play is just ridiculous from start to finish.

Lets take a look at what happens inside his mind.

1) Ohhhh pocket queens in good position! Oh, there have been several limpers though. Shall i raise. Naah, they'll be alright, plus if i do everyine will know i have queens. No, i'll just call, just in case.
2) Someone out of position has raised strong - perfect time to reraise - actually, do you know what. I'm feeling frisky. I'll just call
3) Shit! thats not a nice flop look at that horrible overcard -and i know all too well most players love to play with an ace in hand
4) Oh my God he has bet the entire pot! - he's obviouly confident - does a Q beat an A again?? Oh God, Oh God? quick pass me SuperSystem - Shit! Whats that? Oh no! My time is running out. Fuck! Call. Oh Shit!
5) Oh! Cool! a Queen. Wow i hit a 2 outer! I really am a cunt.

Sometimes i despair i really do.

All is not lost though. I am taking a tip from UKGatsby's blog (see link right) and playing small mtt's. Played a dollar one today and cashed for 3 dollars. Fkin check the profit/ ROI stats on that badboy. Bring it on

By the way his blog is a good read as too is his associate Highstack (again see link). I am going out on a limb here but this may well be the funniest blog i have read so far. I am only a few months in but, its probably a northern thing, he is so rude and blunt, no messing straight to the point. Not only is it admirable but its often flipping from hillarity to tragedy from post to post.

Enjoy whatever it is you are doing (unless its murder- thats bad mmnnnooookkkayyy)and may you all win big. Yes big my friends, bigger than you ever dreamt of, so you can sack off these bull shit jobs and run, run naked like small children through fields of cash.

Not a bad run

2007-06-18T23:55:00.000Z

I played a 4.40, 180 man tourney on stars last night and managed to finish 7th. This was a much needed cash ( a whopping 10 quid - 25$) as i have been very negative of late. If I'm honest I picked up a lot of cards early doors which gave me a very comfortable chip position very early on. I could then bully a bit, hit some cards and get lucky to stay well above average. After a point there was really no question about making the final table. I got there and there was nutter raising and reraising. I let him get on with it, well, i had no choice i had no cards. Then i picked up JJ under the gun. There were a few short stacks and i thought i might get action this way. We were already down to 8 and this was a guts and glory moment. A short stack went all in and i loved to see Mr Aggressive reraise to isolate. I reraised all in and he called all in - me JJ - short AK suited and him 1010. Flop Qx10 and its all over really. The Q on the turn gives him a boat and reduces my outs to 2 - miss both somehow and I'm out in 7th. Consolation - i played really well, pretty tight and not overly aggressive and got my money in with the best hand.

I fired up another one earlier today - we got through the first 80 players and then this happened. I raised 4x bb in early/mid with 1010 - late position player reraises. I often give reraises in low limits a lot of credit as its usually all about calling. A short stack player reraised all in in the blinds. I sat and thought and came to the conclusion that the most likely holding for the first reraise was Ace something Big K/Q - i then decided that if the sb would make that move with an ace - i may have to dodge some cards but they might cancel each other somewhat and reduce their chanced of winning. I move all in, which is quite a substantial reraise i might add, reraise man instantly calls the sb shows A9 off suit and the reraiser A8 suited. I lol'd heartily at this. That is until he flops the nut flush draw and they both hit an ace in the turn. I knew it was over after the flop. What do i have to do. Consolation - i got my money in with the best hand.

More like this please.

I just sat down at a cash game - first one in ages. I'm shit!

Good luck you hairy mothers

ho hum

2007-06-17T18:39:00.000Z

Well... there you have it. I failed to qualify for the WSOP 150 seats guaranteed. Didn't do too badly i think i played 4 and came 10th and 11th at the best. I honestly thought i would qualify. So much so that i thought i could do it twice. Sell the first for $ in my account then enter with the second one! God! I'm such a sad bastard!

Oh well. I've used my frequent player points to buy Harrington on Hold Em - Volume 2 and am rereading 1 until it arrives.

I feel really shit about my game as a whole. What sort of idiot pumps money into books, dvd's, magazines and into a game which they can't even consistently beat, even at the lowest levels. Its pathetic. I need to sort it out. Have i learned nothing?? Its really strange, i know i have improved. I can see so many mistakes in the way that other people play but can't seem to rectify my own play. I think it has to be a case of back to the drawing board (books) and tightening up my play. Today i made such an awful call. I raised the button and someone who had been raising a lot reraised all in. I insta called with A4 suited. I didn't stop to think. He had an over pair and me crushed. If i stop for one second i am obviously folding. I think it is something about human nature. If i bet i'm telling you my hand is good, if you raise you're saying yours is better. Its an argument. Sometimes you are in a good mood and clam and can handle an argument rationally. Other times you are tired, its been a rough day, the last thing you want is someone with A3 off suit telling you pocket tens are no good, So you snap instantly and the results, like those of any argument, may not be pretty.

Good luck to y'all

I just don't know what to say

2007-06-17T01:07:00.001Z

I have played about 8 qualifiers and have logged my finish positions which are as follows. Each qualifier had 216 runners.

5th
9th
31st
8th
45th
41st
130th
59th

There is an interesting trend which is that it could be said that i got worse as the day went on. This may be the case but to be honest i don't believe that is true. Again i am the first to admit that i got lucky and played bad on some hands.

In the last 4 however, something like this happened;

first - got to HU - against a guy who had been raising a lot (i managed to eliminate 3rd place which brought us to virtually equal going into heads up. Until this point i had thought i was going to lose to him) He raised me one hand and i pushed all in with AJ of hearts - he called instantly with K5 off suit and turned a King. I managed to build my chips up and again got it in against his pre flop raise, i forget my hand but it was a fuck site better than the Q8 off suit he insta called me with. Out.

2nd - I am raising like a maniac since i told the table i would go all in first hand - i sometimes do this in case i pick up a nice hand first hand, usually it results in me just folding - this time i was dealt QQ and moved all in - all the limpers duly folded. Having established this reputation i was raising loads and winning pots and really enjoying dominating the table. The crunch hand came when i have 45, the flop is Jx5 and i lead out and get 3 callers - as i write in the chat box that "lol, we all have Jacks" - the turn comes down a 5 - perfect! - so i move all in playing as if i have a strong J as others are clearly interested. Sure enough I am called, as planned, by someone who is loving their JQ off suit a bit too much. Anyway, the turn is a J and he wins with a higher full house. I am ranting on at the table. A guy makes a comment about how it is my own fault for risking so many chips. He definitely has a point, but like i said to him, what more do you want in this game than to get all your chips in against someone willing to call you with a far inferior hand.

I said something to him about pausing and thinking, even for a second, before insta calling, about the hands that could possibly beat him. Lets look at a few

His cards: JQ (diamonds/clubs)

Board: J575

hands he might be behind to: AA, KK, QQ, AJ, KJ, JJ, 77, 75, 55, A5, K5, Q5, J5, 105, 95, 85, 65, 45, 35, 25.

Hmmm, not many then - Great fuckin play!

If anyone is actually reading this blog - please tell me - am i mental -should i be playing less aggressively. What am i doing wrong.

3rd - everyone limps to me in the bb - i raise all in with pocket 10's and lose to pocket 8's. I have already built chips and move all in on the button with QJ and get called by 10J and he turns a J.

The guy that called half his chips with J10 off suit said "nh" after the pocket 8's had become a full house on the river. I love this comment. Obviously eights full of jacks is a very nice hand, any retard could tell you that, what is so annoying is that even a hand where a guy calls for every one of his chips when he is so far behind and only has a 20% chance of winning - he then miraculously flops a set and amazingly rivers a full house. That is not a nice hand. If anything its a terrible hand because if anything, every step along the way, all that guy did was actually fuck it up.

4th - We are down to 3 and its tight but i have a slight edge in chips. The player to my left is becoming edgy and open shoving and just taking down the blinds. We go to the break and first hand back i am really happy to pick up KQ diamonds in the sb. I raise his 200 bb to 660. He moves all in. i know i am ahead and call and he shows KJ off suit. Despite recent fortunes, i still shout yes and raise my fists and he turns a J.

Fuckin Unbelievable

I tell you all i want to do is throw the laptop against the wall. Its not mine, so i won't. I just cant take it anymore. Don't get me wrong, i just read that back and i sound suicidal, I'm not. I just feel like its beyond the realms of possibility/ probability.

Maybe i should be risking less per hand. Dan Harrington calls it "volatility". In the world series against Sam Farha he didn't reraise pre flop with AK. He believed himself to be a better player than some others at the table so could play better on later streets. Thus reducing the chips risked should his hand not hit. I play with more volatility, hence the bigger swings i guess. I suppose i should play more through the streets, play slower. I think i am a product of my environment though. For example the KJ off suit guy. Who else with an adequate chip stack would deem this worthy of a reraise all in. I play strong because i think i can maximise hands when they hold and catch people with weaker hands. The 1010, i knew if i was getting called i was a favourite. I think it must be the answer though.

Final thought - if i shove all in with QQ and get called by AK and they flop an A - well done, nh, wp that's poker

- if i move all in with KQ and dominate KJ or indeed with JQ and dominate J10 - and they somehow manage to hit one of their 3 remaining outs - is that poker - no that's not poker - that's bull shit.

Oh yeah - i just remembered - when the guy was saying I should play slower through the streets and we were discussing it, the caller, the guy who had called with the JQ with one pair - as a 4.55% favourite to win said "don't tap". This cracked me up. I assume it was a reference to don't tap the glass or the fish will go away. He's clearly heard one of his mates say it in the playground and hasn't quite grasped its meaning just yet. Its almost too funny that he would say that after risking all his chips when he only had 2 cards that could possibly help him.

Keep the faith

2007-06-16T15:12:00.000Z

Hi guys and gals,

Yesterday I decided that I would try and qualify for the WSOP 150 seat guaranteed that is running on PokerStars on sunday night. My direction is via the $2.20 triple shootouts where you play a 6 seater turbo which you must win to advance to another one, before advancing to the final table which you must also win. Last had a few pops last night straight after playing shit at six seater turbo's so i wasn't in the best frame of mind. The last of the day i was gutted to make it to the final table to go out in 5th. I called a button raise from an habitual button raiser, the flop came 678 - i checked with 44 - he instantly moves all in. I just read it wrong and put it down as a bullying job and called - he had Jacks. Truely gutted.

I just played my first of today and finished 9th. Although i was 9th i was only one player away from the final 6, as i had made it to HU on the second table. My oppenent raised and i called with Q6 suited, the flop was 255, which i knew hadn't helped him. I check called with the intention of making a play, the turn came perfectly really giving me as far as i knew 2 live cards and a 4 flush, my plan was to check raise all in, i checked but he moved all in. I was convinced that i was correct and made a gambling call and missed. Out. Gutted but reassured about my play. I have given myself $21 dollars to qualify with today as the good lady is away and i have the run of the mill. Not that i don't every day when she is at work! Hmmm.

Also i'm checking out the WSOP results via http://www.pokerlistings.com/ . Their coverage is good, simple live updates and results tables. I am interested anyway but this year i have a fantasy team playing through PKR and http://www.pokerplayermagazine.co.uk/ . My team is as follws and is based on players i like, plus past WSOP and WPT results factored in. Poker Player Magazine have nominated 12 events, only the results of these 12 events will contribute to your players points. So here is my team "Old Faithful" in order of price (points they cost to buy - lowest to highest, plus any points they have accumulated so far)

John "Miami" Cernuto - 25 points for 10th in event 24 - 7 card stud hi lo

Dewey Tomko

David Chiu

Chip Reese - a bargain price at only 50 points

Men Nguyen

Humberto Brenes - 75 points for 3rd in event 13 - pot limit hold em

Chris Ferguson - 20 points for 13th in the same event

Eric Siedel

Phil Hellmuth - no points for his bracelet, alas

Daniel Negreanu

So its going ok in high insight would have liked Phil Ivey, Jonny Chan and Alan Cunningham. But there are still 6 qualifying events left and still time.

Good luck everyone and thanks for all 4 of you for reading!

I should just hang up my...

2007-06-16T01:02:00.001Z

...erm...fingers?

Credit card details

virtual chips.

But i have just thought i know i am better than this. I am still getting the most hilarious beats. Man, i know i can play bad, but if someone plays a hand and beats me, i congratulate them. I am ashamed but they beat me. Well done. I just find the beats so hard. My notes on players half the time consist of some anecdote about how they played a hand for all their chips or got all their money in behind on a flop - ie - will call bottom pair for all their chips. I once read a poker book that said about finding players that will do their stack with top pair. I wish it was that simple! I am seeing just beat after beat of the most crazy standards.

My thinking though is this - when i hurt myself - i say ow and then grit my teeth and say no pain and get on with things - this is what i have to do here. I obviously need to play better, i need to wait for bigger hands to get all my money in to minimise losses from improbable outdraws and i need to not let it effect me as much.

Bottom line - keep going - always work to improve - stay cool - work for better results - its embarrassing

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh

2007-06-13T23:18:00.000Z

I'm just not cut out for this game. I've been on tilt for three days and playing like a complete wanker. I think i need to take some time off. Read some books and start again from scratch. My God! its just killing me. I'm angry and just perpetually in a state of jaw drop at the situations i have been finding myself in. I know you all know it happens, i was reading today a response to someone elses frustrations. The response from the pro that the letter was written to said that to lose for three weeks (as he had) was bad but not unusual. Jesus fuckin Christ, i tell you. That would be like going to work for three weeks and not only not getting paid but also working for someone whilst you give them your money. I am not concerned with the idea that if you play a consistant game you can turn these losses around and ultimately profit. However, it takes a lot of self control and faith in your ability to continue playing even at the lowest levels. God only knows how hard you can crash if you are an emotional player playing at the higher levels.

I don't know exactly what i am going to do. I am just sick.

Wowsers

2007-06-12T14:45:00.000Z

I have just watched the film Empire of the Sun. Holy McMoly! I knew nothing about this film other than the fact that it was the first major film role for a 13 year old Christian Bale. Here, in the role of Jim, his performance is absolutely mesmerising.

The film is based on the novel by J G Ballard. He was actually born in Shanghai, China pre World War 2. During the time of the war the Japanese forces had taken over Shanghai as it was a significant port city. The Japanese had taken over the people and their city, except for a secluded area of for Westerners. These people were the wealthy western families who owned hotels and textile companies who had homes and gardens reconstructed from images of their homes in Britain. This area was like a safe city within a war torn city, so close, yet a world apart from the rest of Shanghai just beyond the barbed wire fences. The film and the central character Jim, are based on Ballard's true story and his own experiences during the war that he survived alone.

At that time Shanghai was referred to as the Paris of the East. The westerners had made it their own, there were American cars, magazines and products like coca cola. So many of the cities central buildings were built to replicate those from back home. Apparently at the start of the 40's Shanghai had over 400 nightclubs. What is mental about this is that since the war the city has hardly changed. It hasn't been modernised. Shanghai has a skyline like nowhere else in China, so essentially it was perfect for filming.

The story is one of isolation, identity, friendship, terrible hardship and the journey of a young privileged child into a young man who has seen more than any person, whatever the age, should have had to witness.

The film is just epic. Steven Spielberg as the director has created such a diverse film from the scenes in the wealthy manor houses and hotels, to the war torn streets and the prisoner of war camps.

The cast is also fantastic with actors such as the brilliant John Malkovich and Joe Pantoliano, Miranda Ricardson, Leslie Phillips, Nigel Havers, Paul McGann and a cheeky little appearance from a young and meaner looking Ben Stiller.

Basically if you haven't seen this film, do so immediately.

So cruel

2007-06-11T11:07:00.000Z

I don't know what to say. Today i got up early excited to get some poker hours in and started playing sit and goes. I lost the first. Booted up the second, lost that. 3rd, 4th, 5th etc etc etc. No first or second placings to mention. Then i had to stop to go for an audition. So i sorted myself out and had a good meeting. Came home and started again determined to win. I played tighter and to be honest, not scared, but not aggresive either. Again i was losing. I honestly think i've halved my bankroll (such as it was). I completely admit to reading a few situations wrong and getting my money in behind. However i can remember only 1 occasion today where that reversed itself, ie, i caught later cards to put me ahead. On the other hand everyone hit their cards. If i did manage to build a good stack, which to be honest, i've been getting used to, i just failed to pick up any cards. When i picked up kings, the late position limper (me on the button raising) flopped 3 aces with his hidden AQ. To be honest i put him on an under pair before I'd give him those 3 aces. Every time i was raising i was getting played at and running into just the most insane players and ridiculous outdraws. I was time and time again "lol"ing the chat box at what i was being called with, only to see the outs required fall on later streets. In the end i had to stop because i knew i couldn't win.

I can only imagine how demoralising it is to be playing for much bigger stakes or in large buy in events to have a bad run or get unlucky. I mean in a tournament for example (or sng) a wrong decision plus an unlucky outdraw and that can be the end. It doesn't take much.

Thought; just have to try and read situations better. That's all i can improve on today. Those times when i mis read my opponents holding. I tell you what though, at those limits they could have anything. Fuckers

2 words for you...

2007-06-05T03:04:00.000Z

My bankroll has just hit the heady heights of $100.02. Its the 2c that makes it for me.

After nailing a couple of sng fools earlier i had $86 - i took an expendable $15 to the limit 2-7 triple draw tables and at the 50c/$1 limit - nearly lost it - doubled it - nearly lost it - then doubled it. Saw the $100 figure, went "woohoo" internally and vanished. Like a dirty chip thief, into the night.

New link added to the left. Suffolk Punch. An ex- "Sun" writer, poker author and columnist, enthusiast and family man shares his thoughts from the tournament circuit.

More than 2 words wasn't it

Mwah ha haaa, i'm such a trickster

Poker? Bollocks

2007-06-04T18:11:00.000Z

Good afternoon campers,

I hate this game. Granted i am partly to blame as always but; God Damn it!

I have just played tourney ($4.40 - 180 players) and gone out 11th (yesterday i busted in 7th - did i write about it - i don't remember). What do these 2 days have in common - I was in the lead in both of them and then fucked it up. Yesterday i was big stacked right to the end today i was close to busting with 35 players left. The good thing was "close to busting" was only in leader board standings, not versus the blinds - so i could afford to wait. I made a tonne by folding for what seemed like forever. The players slowly ebbed away and i doubled up with QQ, then i got it again the very next hand. By the time the bubble came i was no longer afraid of bubbling, nor had i put myself in a position where i was behind in a hand. I was so confident i was counting my virtual money. And then this happened...

I made a really bad play which decimated my stack but didn't cripple me. I called a raise in the sb with QQ - me and the raiser to heads up on the flop. Flop K high 2 diamonds and low cards. I check he insta bets 2k into a 6k pot. I see this guy who has been playing good cards well making slow decisions and reasonable bets. His bet looks like a move as he has acted so fast. I am sure i have the best hand and move all in. (raising him would have been to 6k at least and he only had 10k left - i had 30 so moved in. He is only gonna call with me beat though isn't he?) He insta called that w KQ off suit. Gutted. No help as he had one of my 2 outs anyway.

As is say though, this was bad play, but fine and now i had to tighten up. A raise in first position was too big to be strong and i moved all in with JJ. He insta called that with AQ spades and made the nut flush on the turn. My final 3k - half went into the bb and the other half called the button raise - miracles can happen right? No -i call with Q9 - he has pocket Queens. Bye!

What have we learnt?

1) be encouraged - 2nd final table in 2 days - playing well - calling raises in position and not really risking lots of chips or calling shabby hands

2) On the bad side - still get too impatient

3) Be stronger pre flop. Keep finding myself in spots where i was likely to have been a favourite pre flop.

4) Give credit and pass even the prettiest of hands if you feel the heat. - with the KQ guy - even if a raise would have set him near all in at least you wouldn't have lost it all - a smaller raise probably would have got him to push anyway. And there would have been the answer to the question "are my queens beat here"

There is probably more to learn - that will do for now

br - $59.52

Ok you little monkies.

2007-06-02T20:37:00.000Z

My bankroll steadily rising we are now looking at a total of $73.88.

This is great news and very encouraging. I am winning the 6 handed tables (or at least cashing) more often than not. I spent about $15 the other night whilst tired playing multi table turbos. These for me represent way less value than the 6 seaters. In a 6 seater turbo i can sit and wait through the first few levels if i don't catch any cards. This allows the possibility of other players busting each other or enables me to catch people making mistakes. With the multi tables it just seems that my good hands have less chance of holding up in a full ring situation and other people seem to acquire much larger stacks faster, allowing them the "bully" moves.

I won that money back and a bit more coming 7th in a $4.40, 180 man tourney on Stars. I was very low at one point and tripled up when my shove from late position in an unopened pot was called and raised in the blinds. I was saying my goodbyes when i saw this action. I had Q7 of clubs, the sb had pocket 10's and the bb had AK spades. The flop came ace high with 2 clubs and i caught the third on the river. The very next hand i picked up aces and doubled up again to put me near the head of the field. Through good cards and funky moves i stayed there. I tangled with the chip leader who seemed to want to play every pot with me but i decimated his stack putting me in the lead. At the final table my 88 lost to 44 after he open shoved all in with a huge stack on the button. I knew it was a weak play and called - he flopped a 4. He made the same play again later and i called again with AQ spades and he showed pocket 9's. I was down to 10k. My final hand was against the most aggressive player at the table who had raised or was in almost every hand. Anyway i reraised all in with 99 and was called by his Kings which held.

Hey ho. I know that in normal circumstances i would have finished higher and was all in all very happy with my play.

Oh yeah. I was just thinking how i got short in the first place. I called a raise in the bb after the cutoff had raised and the button called w KJ diamonds. Flop all diamonds - 7 high. The original raiser moves all in the button calls - i move all in - he calls the tiny remainder. Turn 8 river 7. the original raiser mucks and the button shows 78 clubs for runner runner full house. Great play. I love the way these people can over value their flopped low pairs. He could be up against over prs, sets, straights and flushes but no! He thinks his 7, no kicker has got to be good.

Another thing i noticed was play by other big stacks. Say they raise a pot for 3 times the bb say to 1800 and a short stack moves all in for 8k, that is not, i don't think an auto call with any pair. 55 for example. I watched a guy in successive hands - raise call all in with 55 and lose to AK - raise and call an all in with AQ and lose to AK - raise - get reraised - then HE reraises - puts the other guy all in who eventually calls with 1010 - our guy loses with 66. stack?? decimated. I think someone said he lost 43k in those 3 hands. This is obviously an extreme example but some of the play was just hilarious.

I must admit it feels good to sit and laugh at this play aware of mistakes being made. I am basically sick of feeling knowledgeable about the game and not winning. I have taken measures to improve it and things are looking, and feeling pretty goooood

Playing (your iPod) in position.

2007-05-31T18:34:00.000Z

Hello card fans,

Just a quicky. Didn't get the job. Gutted actually. Would have really sorted me out. They don't know what they're missing.

I did however read the June issue of Poker Player Magazine (see link on the right). In it there was an article in playing late position by Nick Wealthall. He said;

"...when you're in late position it's time to become a real poker player. It's here that you can make moves, be creative and really gather chips. Someone once asked me what i listen to on my non branded iPod equivalent. I replied, 'In early position it's whale music, in late position it's gangsta rap.'..."

Nice one. So there you are breathe like a Buddhist through the first few positions waiting for the big guns only. In late shake it up, grab your 9 and bring it.

Good luck ma homies

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. That better.

2007-05-31T00:36:00.000Z

Ok gang! Things are looking good and i feel back on track.

As you know, i wanted to attempt to build a bankroll through the lowest level sng's upwards. However i was struggling even amongst the babies and frankly, was ashamed of myself.

I had 20 dollars, lost it and re bought 10 dollars here and there - well, now i have just stopped to write this at....."tum te tum" $57 dollars. Nearly triple the original buy in. This is not just a good run, i am finally killing these low limit sng's, and so i bloody should be. I have read so much about, and watched the game for more hours than is probably healthy. My losing streak nearly drove me to quit but no more. Nay sayers may say that i only wrote yesterday about how much i suck at these games. Things in my head feel different though. In the last few days i have been contacted about 3 jobs, all of which i should be able to do. I received a £150 cheque this morning which i had forgotten was coming. I have a (semi) proper job interview tomorrow and am still to meet regarding my company. I have just remembered (duh!) that on top of all this, this afternoon i was given the all clear by the Cardiologist. They said blood- good, thyroid- good, haemoglobin -good. They had originally worried that my cholesterol was high. It turns out that it actually is. The reason it is, however, is because my "good" cholesterol is very high, subsequently raising my overall level to a number above average (5.4 i think). Basically they are not worried and claim that what i was experiencing was not heart related. I honestly believe that a positive mental state is key to life (and playing a good game of poker).

Back to "the poke". There is a lot of talk about not bluffing in the low limits. This i believe is true, but only to a certain extent. For example, if a 3rd card of a suit hits the river and you could (but don't) have the flush - your bet here, more often than not, would be called by AK on a A high board and therefor be a waste of chips. At this level i obviously make mistakes, play like shit and therefore lose, but, BUT!, i was making too many "complicated" plays on the basis of; if he has "x" and thinks i have "y" (he is clearly doing equations and should be paying more attention to the game). This is the "bluffing" that is incorrect. The bluffing that does work is aggression pre flop. If it is all limped to you and you hold a playable hand- raise it. Position is great to have, but even that isn't such a big deal at this level, it just makes the process easier. When you raise they may fold and you win the pot there. If they call - (they are not going to re raise!) - chances are you have the best hand anyway and a continuation bet will see you take the hand on the flop. On the occasions they play back at you - fold. What you have lost in chips here you will make back 10 fold later. Give them their moment of power. Later when they don't have cards they will fold their blinds repeatedly. The other great thing about this is that even blind people will eventually realise you are raising a lot. I can't tell you how great this part is. They are angry and want to win a pot so play back at you. Do they wait for great hands to do this? Not necessarily. By this time i can fold and pick a better spot because i have so many chips, i can call with my (often better) hand and be ahead and win, i can call thinking I'm ahead, find out I'm behind and still win. If i lose, it doesn't matter, i can afford it and if the present play patterns continue i will wait until they are beaten down again and repeat the process.

Basically ladies and gentlemen i am switching the laptop on expecting to win. That is a good feeling.

Good luck, and if you are out there - I know you are - leave a message.

Random thoughts

2007-05-30T01:21:00.000Z

Good evening

Why do i drop about 50% of all shampoo i place in my hands onto the shower floor before applying it to my large cranium. This does not bode well for chip handling should i ever make the move to live casino play.

Someone in "InsidePoker" magazine said that YouTube is sooo last year and that PokerTube is where its at. I am happy to agree. YouTube has way more content and can be used to hunt for some deeply hidden poker (and other) gems. However, newer site PokerTube has some stuff i have never seen and can only increase its content (See links on the right).

In the same magazine there was talk of the WSOP and how it has changed. This was written by an Irish player (i assume he was Irish anyway) called Padraig Parkinson. I am disregarding all poker links here and concentrating on the name. How did they get that spelling?? I know! I know! If you say Patrick in an Irish accent (I'm an actor, I know this) it sounds like Padraig. I honestly think they were an Irish family who wanted to call their son Patrick. Unfortunately there was a verbal miscommunication at the alter and Padraig was the result. This same complex formula does not apply to the Irish spelling of Owen - Eoghan - What??

This evening i watched the new poker show on channel 4 - Party Poker Premier League. It has 12 poker pros playing a series of 6 - 6 handed sit and go's. Each player receives a different number of points in accordance with their finish position. The result after 6 games should give an indication as to the best over all player. (Last week Phil Hellmuth won.) I mention this really because of a couple of "online hands" that occurred during the show. In the first hand of note Roland De Wolf was down but not out and raised all in with 10 8 off suit. It folded round to Kenna James who sat for a reasonable amount of time whilst calculating his pot odds and thinking it through. All pretty reasonable and routine you may think . However he hadn't looked at his hole cards and on our screens for all to see was a lovely pair of aces! He eventually looked and instantly called, flipped them and apologised.

Kenna A A

Roland 10 8

flop 10 10 9

lol

Turn x

River A

Mental - if that's not a PokerStars set up you've seen too many times to count....well... you probably play another site.

Later heads up between Juha Helpi and another chap (!), the other chap is dealt 10 diamonds 10 hearts and raises - Juha looks down at ... 10 spades 10 clubs and moves all in - other dude calls and its all laughs. Until the flop brings 2 clubs giving Helpi the freeroll. Turn club, river...club. Game Helpi. This is some luck as he had just doubled through after he had moved all in over Kenna James' raise holding AJ off suit which Kenna was all too happy to call with KK. This happiness landed only as far as the turn when the ace dropped giving Juha the hand.

This weekend was a bank holiday, not that it matters to me. I don't work, everyday is a holiday. The best part of the weekend and these days for me is that i get to spend them with my lovely girlfriend. It was a miserable day outside in the real world and we lay in bed all day and watched the second Pirates of the Caribbean (which was just ok) as well as "The Holiday." This was released here last Christmas starring Jude Law (very good in this - not usually bothered about him), Kate Winslet, Cameron Diaz and Jack Black. For me this was the PERFECT film to watch with your loved one snuggled up on a rainy day. It is a Working Title film and definitely feels like one but this does not stop the willing viewer going on the journey with these characters and falling for them all and their respective differences and difficulties. See it

I'm off to bed in a minute. I have to go to the hospital tomorrow. I have been having tests on my heart on and off since an incident i experienced just before Christmas. Tomorrow is the final consultation and when i receive my results of all the tests. I assume as they haven't rushed me in that everything is alright. This is England though, service is always slow and everybody hates a queue jumper!

Goodnight my loves

Poker Magazines

2007-05-25T13:56:00.000Z

I currently subscribe to the following poker magazines; Poker Player, WPT and Inside Poker. Occasionally some of their content is similar but it is never a noticeable problem. They each have their own styles and i enjoy each of them for different reasons. I was excited recently to see Card Player Magazine in WH Smiths. I have heard lots of talk of this magazine but so far i am not impressed. I guess primarily due to its uninspired lay out. If i see it again i may well give it another chance as so many people can't be wrong. (Can they?)

I have a pile of about 10 by my bed that i have got behind on. I basically lift the freeroll information out of them and stand them by for future reading. I guess because i am not travelling into work (and my life is just so God damn busy) at the moment they are not getting read. I do however skim them when hey arrive for interesting nuggets such as this.

Watch the video below for a brutal confrontation between John D'Agostino and Hoyt "Ahm all iyn" Corkins. Back to back madness. No spoilers but apparently this was just the peak of a day that ran like this. We are not alone people.

Enjoy

Too excited! I'm really quite faint.

2007-05-25T01:23:00.000Z

Now, to the three of you this may seem like small potatoes, but i have just gone on a small tear and won 3 uber low sng's on a row. In the past i have played good poker and played, at that time, winning poker up to 12 dollar sng's and cash games at the 50$ tables. Still not massive but big enough to earn money to pay for real things. Right now, given my non existent income, winning these sit and goes at a profit of about $25 feels great. Even though recent cash deposits still exceed this amount I have played good and still got my money in best. I feel that the amount i now have should not, i said i said, SHOULD NOT, drop far from this amount. If it does, frankly I'll be embarrassed and ashamed.

I hope i don't come crawling back red faced. Whatever happens i promise to be honest about it.

COME ON!

The Descent into poker blogging

2007-05-24T22:30:00.000Z

I have just watched the film The Descent http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0435625/ . Holy Moly! Shocker! As i mentioned before, i don't really get scared by films. I think to a certain extent i have seen it all. However, what this film did do particularly well was utilise shock tactics to its best advantage. I was in by myself and was tensing up and jumping about like an epileptic at a disco. Along with the "boo factor" (which is what i think this should actually be called - "i give this a boo factor 9" etc) they showed some shocking stuff - not like a man stabbing a baby or anything like that, but rather surprise, shock elements that made you jump and feel disgusted at the same time. I don't know about you but there are certain things that can be shown on film that really get to me. One example - not from this film, ( no spoilers here!) is dentistry. Not general dentistry "ahhh yes Mr Smith , very good teeth - do keep them clean!". NO! I mean pulling teeth with rusty implements, stabbing the mouth, the end of American History X ( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120586/ ), drilling, wrenching etc etc. Ohhherrr makes me cringe thinking about it. Point is, it makes me feel wrong inside and there were moments in this film which did that to me. The only reason i put it on the list and watched the film is cos Empire Magazine ( http://www.empireonline.com/put ) put it in their list of 201 greatest movies of all time at number 200. I transferred all films i hadn't seen to my list and will see them all in due course. For those of you who don't know, "the list" is the never ending list of films to rent from my online supplier Blockbuster http://www.blockbuster.co.uk/ . Cannot recommend them enough actually.

As for poker. My god this game is sick. I still get vexed and annoyed getting busted by the morons. I don't care if they will make me money in the long run. I may run out of money before my time comes! I'm not kidding. Twice i got my money in with flopped sets (Jacks both times) only to be runner runnered and beaten by a straight and a flush. These were not on as a straight draw when the money went in you understand. If i move all in with a set and someone calls with an overcards and a straight draw then fair play and good luck but this is madness. I made a play i never make today which worked out really well. Check it out...

I'm in the bb dealt AJ off. The guy (dumb looking photo on Pokerstars as his avatar - begs the question why do people who aren't good looking advertise the fact- anyway) he is one off the button - he raises. I figure positional raise and reraise just over 3 times his bet. This incidentally is the play i never make with a hand this weak. He ponders and calls. Flop J33 - "great flop" thinks i. A move i do like to make in this spot is the double bluff continuation bet. I want it to look like a standard continuation bet so they get involved, usually on a flop like this by raising - and lo and behold - he repops me from about 280 - to 700 -now i know he hasn't got an over pair or a 3 - if he has a J its not AJ - so i reraise all in - he calls with AK off - Interesting the board hits runner runner spades to put 4 spades out and give him what is more commonly known as the nut flush.

Bollocks.

Anyway - Poker faults of the day - 1) Emotional - get angry and want to beat certain individuals - 2) Impulsive - sometimes good but i often act and wish I'd just pondered the board/situation a little closer/longer- 3) Impatient - sometimes i sit like a rock playing 3 hands in 49 minutes and others i want to call any raise with any hand - I KNOW WHEN THEY HIT THEY HIT MASSIVE AND CANT BE SPOTTED BUT MORE OFTEN THAN NOT THEY DON'T SO JUST PUT IT ASIDE AND FOLD.

Enjoy your evening and remember its the way to bring a lemon do climax is to tickle the citerus

Night

Very nice flop

2007-05-23T13:02:00.000Z

Ch, ch, ch, check it out.

PokerStars Game #10063636923: Tournament #51010212, $3.00+$0.25 Hold'em No Limit - Level II (15/30) - 2007/05/23 - 08:52:45 (ET)Table '51010212 1' 6-max Seat #5 is the buttonSeat
1: amoremio2 (1600 in chips)
Seat 2: willnot67 (1440 in chips)
Seat 3: PinkDiamond7 (1560 in chips)
Seat 4: Poggi26 (1890 in chips) is sitting out
Seat 5: HERO (1430 in chips)
Seat 6: mpreißler (1080 in chips)
mpreißler: posts small blind 15
amoremio2: posts big blind 30

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to HERO[2h 5h]
willnot67: folds
PinkDiamond7: calls 30
Poggi26: folds
HERO: calls 30
mpreißler: calls 15
amoremio2: checks
*** FLOP ***
[Ah 3h 4h]

...

Wowsers! - flopped straight flush. Needless to say i won that one. My opponent bet into me on the flop, turn and river. I reraised the river all in- he thought long and then folded. I should have reraised the turn and raised less on the river but i didn't want to lose business and thought the over bet on the river looked more like a missed flush with a single A/K hearts.

In the past i have flopped quads a few times (2 of which were on particularly good occasions) i have turned a royal flush once and seen the flop, turn and river craete a royal flush on the board (all 5 community cards making up the royal flush). I have also seen the board make a community straight flush but obviously this was slightly less exciting.

I am currently reading Paul Phillips' blog - (see the link on the left) damn theres a lot of it! - i think he has been writing it for 6 years or so. It is quite entertaining. He clearly doesn't give a shit about what anyone thinks of him or his recent poker celebrity status. He can also be very funny, see snippets below;

"I continue to boggle my mind by falling asleep with the television on. This time, I awoke to hear what sounded like an impassioned telephone conversation coming from the kitchen. The speaker was obviously crying, in great emtional pain, but with normal telephone pauses. I thought it was my friend Steve. After about half a minute I realized nobody was at my house, that everyone had left the previous evening.Since Steve isn't exactly the sort to blubber on the phone while at my house, I was in mental wackyland."

Love that "mental wackyland" i feel that i go there frequently

also.....

"Dreams. Last night I dreamed I was having a conversation with a fish and a seal. The fish was flopping around out of the water (but didn't seem too unhappy about it.) Still, I guided us all back to the nearby well so the fish could jump in. We continued to discuss the party we were going to attend that evening. Then the seal accidentally dropped his cell phone in the well. I chuckled that it was probably gone for good, but he said it would be retrievable tomorrow when there was more light."

I am also reading "guinness and poker" http://guinnessandpoker.blogspot.com/ which is also worth a look if you like an intelligent, amusing and opinionated blog with a look at analysing your game.

In other news i have just recieved payment for some work i did a while back and have word that another cheque is on its way to me which i had forgotten about. This is great news as it affords me another 2 months of sitting about doing nothing. Erm... i mean looking for work. On that note i have an audition next week for a TV pilot, (ooohhh!)it is very hush hush right now but i will reveal more if and when i become involved. Sounds like a wicked project though. I want it - i want it bad! Oh yeah, bad like a mother.

Good luck addicts

Poker Stars - where the stars play poker...

2007-05-22T16:41:00.000Z

...especially at the lowest limits.

So i deposited a few more 10$ and embarrassed myself by looking at my sharkscope stats. it looks a bit like this

You get the idea. Up 500 very steeply and gradually dropping off on a long slow descent. Destination Poverty - population 1. Me. (Poverty in this case being a sad corner of my bedroom - we are not talking on a global scale.) Its actually only dropped 50 dollars but its 50 dollars in the wrong direction and it needs to be rectified.

I have just run one of these investments down to near virtual felt before winning it back after dominating a tiny 2 table tourney. How nice and refreshing to regularly see the best hand hold up. I often look at my play and criticise myself, but, i will say that so often i am busted holding the best pre flop hand. In that situation in the past i have walked away from the game frustrated and angry. I should learn from it instead. We know this is a game where any 2 cards can win so why am i surprised to go broke if i don't play a flop and regularly gamble with the best cards pre. If i have the best hand it should, more often than not, remain the best hand post flop so lets see what happens.

Just played a classic with this sort of thinking in mind. Sng - 5 players left - me short stack but still 25x bb - I'm on the button with AQ suited - I go to move all in on the blinds - I stop and think - they will probably fold - raise to build a pot with the best hand - I raise 3xbb and the sb calls - the bb moves all in instantly. I know he hasn't got a big hand - small pair maybe - i give him credit for something as i have only played a few hands - so i put him on a small pair - i laugh to see he has made this play with 86 off suit. I laugh less when the flop is K79 - and less again when the turn is a 5 completing his straight. I congratulate him on his stellar performance and leave.

What can you do?? Seriously??

Good luck everyone

Robin Williams, let him entertain you.

2007-05-20T13:24:00.000Z

Sup fools? Cheers for reading my blog. Yes you. I know there is one person so this is dedicated to you. As you are anonymous, for the purposes of this dedication i shall call you Juan. So Juan, this blog's for you baby.

this weekend i have watched the following films

Dead Man's Cards - British gangster flick and i would recommend it as a good reason to know where you're going before you visit the north of England. Also, like and "Easter Egg" there is a little game involved, that only a few Internet nerds know about, it is called "One shit voice, one bad actor" basically you have to spot the worst fake accent you can and the worst actor - clue - looks the part but god knows who he paid to get the part.

Deja Vu - Crazy concept thriller starring Denzel "the man" Washington - directed by Tony Scott - enjoyable film- great idea - hated the end - no givaways but seemed like a bit of a cop out to me.

Rent -Yes the film of the musical - erm, i'm an actor - its research! Surprisingly good - saw the musical on Broadway and in the West End and loved it. This changed things but in doing so didn't lose anything. Plus - big bonus here - the beautiful, scantily clad, hot dancing Rosario Dawson. Wow. In one scene in particular, believe me you'll know the one, she is so ho hooo hot. So hot she made me want to.....buy the DVD.

Smokin' Aces - Do you ever watch a film and think it may be good but your mood is such that you don't get into it. That is what happened here. Its premise is ridiculous. A Vegas entertainer has got in with the mob and fucked them off big time. Now they have put a contract on him and want his heart. Meanwhile, as the contract is so high all the assassins and crazies are on their way to find him, so are the Feds and so are some bounty hunters. It was when they all arrived at the hotel at the same time my brain went; this whole film is just an excuse for a director to do some serious gunfighting and assassination attempt set ups under the flimsy guise of a gangster film. My then bowed out and refused to participate, leaving my confused body watching this emotionless tosh.

The Night Listener- This was the all round best film of the bunch by a county mile. A psychological thriller based on a true story which kept me guessing and thinking all the way through. The overall tone of the film created such a discomfort inside me. I am never scared by films but this really kept me on the edge even though it maintains a relatively gently pace. (Incidentally the nearest i have come to been shocked/scared at a film in recent years is watching Wolf Creek. Sick) The great things about this film were the performances of Robin Williams and Toni Collette (Murials Wedding, Little Miss Sunshine, In Her Shoes). Robin Williams was excellent as usual. He is not a "shapeshifter" of the acting world but he always convincing in what he does. Here he plays an aging homosexual who is finding himself increasingly drawn into the tragic world of a young boy, through late night telephone conversations. Toni Collette is amazing as the mother of the child. I'm not giving anything away to my throngs of readers here, but she has some real challenges presented to her with this part and she not only rises to them, but delivers a superb character that ranges from sensitive and alone to desperate and frightening.

As for the poker - I'll be brief - deposited small funds for tourney as mentioned - lost - and lost quickly - then deposited another 20$ over yesterday and have been playing $4.40 180's on poker stars. You'll know me as I'll be the shit one! No, just kidding. I feel a bit better about it. I need to stay patient. I think that's my biggest problem. "Tourneys - Not a sprint" i need that spay painted on my bedroom wall. I have gradually played more patiently this weekend. I read a good article in WPT magazine by Eddie "Nice Guy" Gaines and remembered an old article i had read which was an interview with Joe Hachem. He said that you cant look at a tourney as you beating the whole field. Keep track on how many are in and where you stand in relation to number of players left and number of chips etc. But just play to beat your table. Always a max of 8 other people. If you concentrate on this, before long there will be another 8 players, and so on until you are making some money. We shall see what happens.

Good luck

Erm... i dont know how to say this...

2007-05-17T23:49:00.000Z

...i've lost my 20 dollars -

Tonight i thought i'll play some s+g's and undo the bad night i had yesterday. I'm not going to go into detail about each game. I will however mention one hand which kind of sums up the whole experience.

Me under the gun - KK - limp - no raises - flop 9x3 with 2 hearts - i bet the pot - 1 caller on a shortish stack - turn 8 - i bet he raises - i think 98 at the worst - but doubt it - I think i'm ahead and put him all in - he calls with...34 - river 4. He wins.

Later i get AK into AQ - lose
and
1010 into AK - lose.

Erlier i called a big stack who had been moving all in regularly - i had just doubled by calling his stack size pre flop raise (12xbb) - me KK him 33 - i called another one and he showed K8 - i had A9 - flop xx8 - turn 8 - its time to call it a sng day i think.

I'm going to play a low limit tourney now and see what happens. I will assess how i feel this weekend about playing again. I know i am better than these idiots. I don't play as if i'm the best player, act arrogant and lose that way. It just frustrates me to watch these people play ridiculously and build stacks whilst i sit folding marginal hands.

See you in a bit Fictional Readers and good luck

Hey?? Whats that you say?? Are you talkin' to me? Are you saying i'm the shittest poker player on the planet??

2007-05-16T14:59:00.000Z

Oh you are...

Well in that case, i have to concede.

What the Christ on a bastard has gone on today? I have played 9 sngs at the heady heights of $3 (+25c) and have lost 6, won one and come second in one. Here is a quick lowdown of what went down as best as i care to recall. I'll review it as i write it and see how bad i truly am.

1st -
Place - 4th of 6 - i flopped top pr (10) and didn't believe some monkey called me all along w ace 9 (no pr) and rivered a straight - the 4 straight was on the board but i didn't lay it down after betting flop turn and getting small raised on the river -
final hand - shoved A6 into AQ
out

2nd -
4th of 6
notes on 1 player - loose caller-note says calls raises wahey too much

me kk limped in first no raisers- damn - flop dangerous w J98 - i bet it he calls - i think J9 worst scenario - turn 9 - i bet he calls - i think now his JJ 99 is behind to my KK 99 - river 9 - i bet he moves all in - i call as the poss flopped straight is now irrelevant as my FH would beat it - he shows J9 for runner runner Quads- what a cunt- i have 300 left - bb 30 not doomed - move all in w decent aces and no calls - find 88 on the button - sb calls with 33 - nice - later - everyone limps i find KK in the bb - all in suspecting someone to call - same player does with the unknown "special" hand of Q5 suited. Nice - later push on the button w A8s - call from KJ off - my hand holds and we're back. Final hand - me KK in the bb - 2 limpers - raise 3x - button calls - flop 878 - i bet - he calls - turn J - i check raise all in he calls w Q8 - obviously
out

3rd -
5th of 6 - wtf is going on - im cursed because i said id be ok at this level
basically raised his Ak into my call with KQ suited - K high flop did me - i kept pushing decent holdings till i move in position with K9s and got called w AA

4th -
1st of 6
awesome game and good cards -
me raise pre with QJ suited - bet out on a AJx flop- opponent calls - we check it down he has 66
another player limps - i raise QJs he calls from behind - flop gives me flush draw and 2 overs - i bet he check calls turn blank - i bet he calls - river Q - i bet he calls and mucks
same player - i raised sb - KK - he reraises after limping- i think (ha) and reraise less than half his short stack - he reraises again leaving 30 chips (hmmm) - i put him all in he calls shows Q10os

down to HU with the 66 player - he was making some bad calls but had got more chips than me through other players- one hand i was holding J10 and reraised a Q high flop continuation bet which he called - his fast cont bet indicated he had missed - turn was a J, pairing me - i moved all in - he called with A10 -gutshot straight draw which missed - i knew i just had to be patient - trapping him a few times- raising with him folding - i could tell he was frustrated - final hand - I raise button w AKos - he reraises all in - i call he shows K4s - i LOL - only for a short time though when the turn is a 4 - have the last laugh when the river is an A- hooray

5th and 6th - you know in war movies where there are insane battle scenes where noone knows what the fuck is going on its just absolute carnage. That is what happened in these games only with cards instead of guns and chips instead of bullets. There was blood as i had a nose bleed so it was quite realistic. (that last part was a lie)

7th
2nd of 6
Called a raise on the button w 66 - flopped a set on a low flop - i raised opps bet on the flop he moved all in with 1010 nice -
I got low again and raised all in with 1010 - big stack doubled me up after calling with 89 off suit. Heads up i lost after limping the button hoping to trap with A8 suited - he obliged by raising and i movea all in he called w K10 - flop AJx giving me top pair - turn Q making his straight.

8th
erm of 6
Not sure what went on here. I lost some chips early on after raising legitimate hands in good position and have to let them go on the flop after not connecting and receiving heat from other players. I was clearly frustrated as i lost the rest with 2nd pair no kicker against a flopped straight on a single suit flop. That was truly the play of a retard and i didn't care. I may as well have been slamming the keyboard with a hammer and enjoying the random outcomes that created.

9th
2nd of 6
Should have definitely won this one - Down to 3 handed i take a huge lead after re raising with JJ and my opponent moves all in with A8off.
Heads up i am nailing my weak weak weak opponent. He is literally dripping chips and it is just a matter of time. At the peak i think i have 7k to his 2k. He is the kind of player that folds his sb voluntarily and hid bb to a raise. Every 3 - 9 hands he moves all in at which point i fold. He is on the ropes and we both know it. Then this happens. He moves all in and i call with A9off suit - he wins with A10 off suit - later i raise with Q10 suited he moves all in - not too much more to call - he has KK - later he limps and i move all in with J8 suited he calls with 99 - the only vaguely real play he has made all day - he takes the lead - he raises - i push all in w 22 - he calls w A9 suited flops the flush draw with his 2 overs still live and flushes on the river - now i just want to kill myself and push all in from the sb J9 - he insta calls with 55 - flop is a Jack - hooray - the turn gives him the 4 flush and the river gives him a set. I'm done in second. Grrrrrrrrrr!

Looking at the results its safe to say i am bad. But here is the thing - i don't think i played all that bad - in 3 of the games i have a hazy recollection - that is enough for me to think that - if in 3 out of 9 games i played that bad i was out before i know whats going on then that is way too many. I should have won both games where i came second and odds dictate that more often than not i would have won. In another 2 games i did a lot of chips with KK when someone caught a very lucky flop and lost to another outdraw. This is slightly encouraging as i may not have lost these the majority of the time.

I will say this though, i know for a fact that i need to fold more. I like to play a lot of flops but i need to be more conservative with the amounts i am paying to play them either raising with substandard hands or calling after limping and catching just enough to do me in.

I will work on this for next time.

Just watched

1)The Football Factory- http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0385705/ - Quite good - but not as good as
2)Goodbye Charlie Bright- http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0217824/- by the same director Nick Love - his first film and really worth watching
and completing the violent british film day is
3)Essex Boys- http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0191996/ - this was recommended to me to watch for Sean Bean's performance as i am not really a fan. I have to say though that i really enjoyed the film and his performance. If only he had escaped his "Northerness" that much for The Lord of the Rings. "Ya can't just walk int't Mordor"