God! I am so bored.
I am currently in a period of my life where i am not working (i am not a state sponger either, although now i regret not getting what i could from them) I have worked the odd day here and there (i get a lot when i do work these days) plus a weeks work in Saudi Arabia which i wouldn't exchange for anything (well, most things) and really, as far as material things go i want for nothing. I have a beautiful girlfriend (not that she is a material thing, this is just the start of the list and she is the most important), more clothes and trainers than most women, a 42 inch cock (i mean plasma telly) and a denon surround sound system. I have money in the bank, (although this is fading faster than Barrymore's career did) but i am not happy.
Sick i know. What a spoilt cunt!
It is all career based problems. I have worked in performance since i was a little kid and have just not really had the break that i am looking for. I some senses it is going well, moved to london, got into drama school, graduated, got an agent, got work, lost agent, got another agent etc. Some people cant get into drama school, others that do cant get an agent, others that do cant get work. It could be worse, but it is not good enough. I want to meet the big wigs of this business. I want to work in brilliant films and great TV (there is still some) and to do this i need another agent. Is 3 agents in 4 years too many? Probably. I just know that i will not be satisfied until i start achieving these things and am not prepared to just fucking sit around waiting for her to get me another shit audition.
The way most people get agents is either by being good in something and therefor been commercially viable and therefor investable so you can have your pick of agents, often regardless of genuine talent or experience. Another way is to be plucked from a show or drama school for your ability (must be nice). The final and most demoralising way is to write letters. Some idiots write "dear Sir/ madam" letters which apparently get binned on sight as the writer clearly couldn't even be bothered to find out the correct agents name. Once you have bought nice paper, printer ink, hard backed envelopes, stamps, reproductions of your photo, and sat and personalised 100 letters, which obviously takes a lot of time and thought, you have spent on the way to £150. Doing this and thinking, knowing, in the back of your mind that you will more than likely be ignored completely or have your letter binned is disheartening to say the least. Even if you do get a response it is often in the vain of "currently not accepting any more clients" or the very best response you might get, seriously this is good, "please let us know when you are appearing in something" - HOW CAN I APPEAR IN SOMETHING WHEN I DONT HAVE A FUCKING AGENT --can't get an agent, can't get seen for decent jobs. Vicious circle
It really leaves me no further on having written this. I just wanted to vent in a semi anonymous way and to have anyone who cares understand that being an actor definitely ain't all about glamour!
Good luck you poker playing sickos
Friday, August 31, 2007
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Its like a fresh addiction all over again
I am currently watching Gandhi on BBC2 - crazy to see a young Ben Kingsley "blacked" up to play a man of Indian origin and so convincingly too. For such a film buff this is a film that i feel i should have seen buy now, but how often do you fancy watching a semi religious, political epic. Although now i am, i am enjoying it. This may provide enough motivation to finally watch Lawrence of Arabia, again the title in my head of "Desert Epic" is not very appealing. If you want deserts by the way, watch Three Kings and Jarhead.
Guns Woo! religion boo! that's my motto - (it isn't really - please God don't kill me yet)
So yesterday i played 3 x 180's -
1) 24th ish
2) 12th
3) 6th QQ into KK on the final table. I was watching TV (lol) and playing the RTR tournament at the time and so perhaps did not give the situation due consideration (definitely level 1 thinking) and on reflection should have given the second chip leader more credit
Today i have just busted out in 55th - should have gone way further if a guy who had slightly more chips than me had not decided to shove over the top of my raise with 45 hearts which flopped an open ended straight flush draw, turned a straight and rivered the flush. Joke. Hey ho!
The good news here is that i have gone late in 4 tourneys on the trot with 2 cashes. My current plan is to keep playing these 180's to try and build my BR back up which is currently non existent.
Playing the Raise the River league game yesterday was my first outing with them. I have played the bloggerment once but not this one. I decided i would get involved early and dropped a few chips before seeing Yorkshire Pud do a lot of chips after raising in first and representing a bigger hand than the pocket fours he eventually had to show down. Later he raised again in first or very early position, he was called and i moved all in with 99. He paused and called with KQ suited and i was on my way to a few chips. I then played very tight for the next hour at least and hit some hands and built a nice amount of chippys. When we got to 4 handed i had a good chip lead and proceeded to double up each of the 3 remaining players. Pretty fucking embarrassing to be honest. I thought burnley mik played particularly well as his aggression was often well timed and his judgement correct. I think in 2 key hands i did him in though with AK spades against his A9. I raised the button and he shoved from the sb. Later he had amassed chips again and i shoved over his button raise with 44, a while later he called with 33. The hand prior to this he had raised with 72. I figured he'd think, i'd think he'd have a better hand this time, but from a man i know can fold top pair, i thought he'd think that. lol! Pretty funny really but often the way that a lot of money gets involved with less than premium holdings. Pretty uneventful for me 3 handed. Down to HU against a player who i do not know and i seemed to lose it here, at the crucial stage. I picked up a great pot with AK, he folded to my AQ and AT hearts in the first 3 hands wheni was in the bb. Then he open shoved and then did it again and this swung the pendulum for aggression to him. After that i picked up no hands, hit no hands, mistimed a lame bluff attempt and then he shoved into me and i called with KJ. He showed Q4. Is this normal?? If i win this i take a 2-1 chip lead but it is not to be as the flop brings another two 4's. Gutted.
In retrospect, although there wasn't much room for it i would rather have played for smaller pots and seen his holdings. However, in this situation, the raises were big and the blinds were high. The only thing i can really be happy with is the fact that i put my money in good.
In the lead up to this tournament i did post on the forum at RTR that i was going to win but i will have to settle for second and a promise of a comeback of biblical proportions.
As some of you may know i am a blog fiend. If i haven't read your blog yet i will get there. I currently read around 20 regularly. Of which i have read each in their entirety. Reading the whole thing takes time (in the case of Paul Phillips, i may well be dead before i finish his War and Peace sized scribings), but this is part nosey, part learning and part interest in people. I believe that as part of this community it is all the information i have to attempt to get to know you. With that in mind i am currently reading:
Brian Townsend - no explanation needed
Girlie Poker - Rosie's blog - in my opinion this blog is excellent. It has poker content and a genuinely original style written by an intelligent and opinionated person (being opinionated is a good thing btw). When she writes she sounds like a couple of my female friends and it is therefor something i can instantly tap into.
Kennl - given his recent success i am keen to know more about this player. i have just started reading his blog.It is fairly short so shouldn't take too long. I like the idea of posting in tourney breaks. I would steal it but am usually too busy pissing and making tea. I also like his aims. Some huge, some more reasonable but they look like they may be on the way to becoming reality. Good luck sir.
Burnley Mik - I have seen you about a lot. Now you are al over RTR and i am playing with you so you are next . See you there.
Ok more Gandhi to watch, tournies to cash in and blogs to read. Poker feels good again.
Guns Woo! religion boo! that's my motto - (it isn't really - please God don't kill me yet)
So yesterday i played 3 x 180's -
1) 24th ish
2) 12th
3) 6th QQ into KK on the final table. I was watching TV (lol) and playing the RTR tournament at the time and so perhaps did not give the situation due consideration (definitely level 1 thinking) and on reflection should have given the second chip leader more credit
Today i have just busted out in 55th - should have gone way further if a guy who had slightly more chips than me had not decided to shove over the top of my raise with 45 hearts which flopped an open ended straight flush draw, turned a straight and rivered the flush. Joke. Hey ho!
The good news here is that i have gone late in 4 tourneys on the trot with 2 cashes. My current plan is to keep playing these 180's to try and build my BR back up which is currently non existent.
Playing the Raise the River league game yesterday was my first outing with them. I have played the bloggerment once but not this one. I decided i would get involved early and dropped a few chips before seeing Yorkshire Pud do a lot of chips after raising in first and representing a bigger hand than the pocket fours he eventually had to show down. Later he raised again in first or very early position, he was called and i moved all in with 99. He paused and called with KQ suited and i was on my way to a few chips. I then played very tight for the next hour at least and hit some hands and built a nice amount of chippys. When we got to 4 handed i had a good chip lead and proceeded to double up each of the 3 remaining players. Pretty fucking embarrassing to be honest. I thought burnley mik played particularly well as his aggression was often well timed and his judgement correct. I think in 2 key hands i did him in though with AK spades against his A9. I raised the button and he shoved from the sb. Later he had amassed chips again and i shoved over his button raise with 44, a while later he called with 33. The hand prior to this he had raised with 72. I figured he'd think, i'd think he'd have a better hand this time, but from a man i know can fold top pair, i thought he'd think that. lol! Pretty funny really but often the way that a lot of money gets involved with less than premium holdings. Pretty uneventful for me 3 handed. Down to HU against a player who i do not know and i seemed to lose it here, at the crucial stage. I picked up a great pot with AK, he folded to my AQ and AT hearts in the first 3 hands wheni was in the bb. Then he open shoved and then did it again and this swung the pendulum for aggression to him. After that i picked up no hands, hit no hands, mistimed a lame bluff attempt and then he shoved into me and i called with KJ. He showed Q4. Is this normal?? If i win this i take a 2-1 chip lead but it is not to be as the flop brings another two 4's. Gutted.
In retrospect, although there wasn't much room for it i would rather have played for smaller pots and seen his holdings. However, in this situation, the raises were big and the blinds were high. The only thing i can really be happy with is the fact that i put my money in good.
In the lead up to this tournament i did post on the forum at RTR that i was going to win but i will have to settle for second and a promise of a comeback of biblical proportions.
As some of you may know i am a blog fiend. If i haven't read your blog yet i will get there. I currently read around 20 regularly. Of which i have read each in their entirety. Reading the whole thing takes time (in the case of Paul Phillips, i may well be dead before i finish his War and Peace sized scribings), but this is part nosey, part learning and part interest in people. I believe that as part of this community it is all the information i have to attempt to get to know you. With that in mind i am currently reading:
Brian Townsend - no explanation needed
Girlie Poker - Rosie's blog - in my opinion this blog is excellent. It has poker content and a genuinely original style written by an intelligent and opinionated person (being opinionated is a good thing btw). When she writes she sounds like a couple of my female friends and it is therefor something i can instantly tap into.
Kennl - given his recent success i am keen to know more about this player. i have just started reading his blog.It is fairly short so shouldn't take too long. I like the idea of posting in tourney breaks. I would steal it but am usually too busy pissing and making tea. I also like his aims. Some huge, some more reasonable but they look like they may be on the way to becoming reality. Good luck sir.
Burnley Mik - I have seen you about a lot. Now you are al over RTR and i am playing with you so you are next . See you there.
Ok more Gandhi to watch, tournies to cash in and blogs to read. Poker feels good again.
Friday, August 17, 2007
Back in the game
Bumblasquat
Now then peeps.
Today i walked past my supermarket in order to walk much further to get to the Tesco express to buy some extra nice stuff. It was covered in scaffolding and closed. Bollocks
In other news i have registered with Poker X Factor. I spent a few minutes looking at it day one and was like "noooo, what have i done..?" now? I firkin love it.
There is tonnes of content. A reported 220 hours of videos. A busy forum with posts from a load of players including Annette 15. There is the facility to upload your hand history and have it play back hand for hand in video format. You can then spped this up/slow it down/ replay hands and generally work on your game from an outside perspective. It is also very cool to hear these pro players perspectives on certain situations.
This has made me really eager to play again. I played a 180 earlier and finished 4 off the money, one later finished 12th and am in another now. I have won a few of these in the past (maybe 6 4.40's and the only $10- 180 i played) so this might not mean anything and i still have to control my rage, but we shall see what happens. I have already spotted a couple of things that i need to change in my game. Really just things to do with discipline and position.
Off now to play the Raise the River tourney and bring the trophey to London. (via yorkshire)
good luck my children
Now then peeps.
Today i walked past my supermarket in order to walk much further to get to the Tesco express to buy some extra nice stuff. It was covered in scaffolding and closed. Bollocks
In other news i have registered with Poker X Factor. I spent a few minutes looking at it day one and was like "noooo, what have i done..?" now? I firkin love it.
There is tonnes of content. A reported 220 hours of videos. A busy forum with posts from a load of players including Annette 15. There is the facility to upload your hand history and have it play back hand for hand in video format. You can then spped this up/slow it down/ replay hands and generally work on your game from an outside perspective. It is also very cool to hear these pro players perspectives on certain situations.
This has made me really eager to play again. I played a 180 earlier and finished 4 off the money, one later finished 12th and am in another now. I have won a few of these in the past (maybe 6 4.40's and the only $10- 180 i played) so this might not mean anything and i still have to control my rage, but we shall see what happens. I have already spotted a couple of things that i need to change in my game. Really just things to do with discipline and position.
Off now to play the Raise the River tourney and bring the trophey to London. (via yorkshire)
good luck my children
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Sing it - "Oh ma God I'm back again"
Whats up ma homies. Ma brothers and sisters. Ma brothers from lots of other mothers.
Been away for some time and now i am back. Sitting my virtual ass at the virtual felt and boy oh boy it is going.....shitly. New word. Hows it going? Shitly. Thanks for asking.
Flopped 2 pr beaten by higher flopped 2 pr. 2 pr beaten by set. 2 pr beaten by set again. Folding AQ in the bb after seeing an early position raise and a reraise all in - they show KJs and AK - i say "Yess" as i see i made the correct decision. Turn Q river Q. Ha! Fur Q!
This was all in some cash game action so some heavy losses were incurred. Balls. I really thought after my time off i would come back and things would slip into place and i would be making moves like a cross between Daniel Negreanu and Yoda. Alas, it would seem that i am still shit.
What else is there left for me to do but eat chicken (breasts, drums, wings and thighs rubbed with salt, pepper, oregano, and chilli flakes, fridge 1 hour, out, pat dry, toss them and some torn ciabatta chunks in olive oil, put the bread on a baking tray and the chicken on top of them, oven 180 for 45mins, serve with rocket and tarragon, mmmm) and watch TV. I have just finished season 1 of Prison break and season 1 of Entourage as well as starting to watch Alias season 1. If you have not seen any of these shows, sort out out and do it pronto vito.
Had more castings this week - short film - corporate and Microsoft photo campaign (as a model, oh yes folks. Not just a pretty fa...hang on!) I'll let you know if anything happens.
In the meantime - good luck and i hope you cards fall better than mine
Been away for some time and now i am back. Sitting my virtual ass at the virtual felt and boy oh boy it is going.....shitly. New word. Hows it going? Shitly. Thanks for asking.
Flopped 2 pr beaten by higher flopped 2 pr. 2 pr beaten by set. 2 pr beaten by set again. Folding AQ in the bb after seeing an early position raise and a reraise all in - they show KJs and AK - i say "Yess" as i see i made the correct decision. Turn Q river Q. Ha! Fur Q!
This was all in some cash game action so some heavy losses were incurred. Balls. I really thought after my time off i would come back and things would slip into place and i would be making moves like a cross between Daniel Negreanu and Yoda. Alas, it would seem that i am still shit.
What else is there left for me to do but eat chicken (breasts, drums, wings and thighs rubbed with salt, pepper, oregano, and chilli flakes, fridge 1 hour, out, pat dry, toss them and some torn ciabatta chunks in olive oil, put the bread on a baking tray and the chicken on top of them, oven 180 for 45mins, serve with rocket and tarragon, mmmm) and watch TV. I have just finished season 1 of Prison break and season 1 of Entourage as well as starting to watch Alias season 1. If you have not seen any of these shows, sort out out and do it pronto vito.
Had more castings this week - short film - corporate and Microsoft photo campaign (as a model, oh yes folks. Not just a pretty fa...hang on!) I'll let you know if anything happens.
In the meantime - good luck and i hope you cards fall better than mine
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
One of those nights
You know it's one of those nights when;
You have won the night before and eagerly sit down to win more money. You are out of the room when the first hand is dealt and fold AK only to return and see lots of action on an ace high flop from early idiots betting with nothing - loss 3000
Then throughout the nest half hour you see the flop many times but on 5 hands in particular would have made the best hand only to have been priced out earlier by idiots betting too much with marginal holdings - loss at least 10k
You then pick up AQ, 66, 88 and lose chips through not connecting with the flop and frustration at what has happened thus far.
You load up another tourney only to drip chips like a lame bastard. Lose a huge pot with a hand which you should have folded pre flop halving your above average, comfortable stack.
Looking for a spot to double up you shove from the BB with A6 hearts only to be called by 2nd position who cant get his chips in fast enough with AK off suit.
Computer - off
You have won the night before and eagerly sit down to win more money. You are out of the room when the first hand is dealt and fold AK only to return and see lots of action on an ace high flop from early idiots betting with nothing - loss 3000
Then throughout the nest half hour you see the flop many times but on 5 hands in particular would have made the best hand only to have been priced out earlier by idiots betting too much with marginal holdings - loss at least 10k
You then pick up AQ, 66, 88 and lose chips through not connecting with the flop and frustration at what has happened thus far.
You load up another tourney only to drip chips like a lame bastard. Lose a huge pot with a hand which you should have folded pre flop halving your above average, comfortable stack.
Looking for a spot to double up you shove from the BB with A6 hearts only to be called by 2nd position who cant get his chips in fast enough with AK off suit.
Computer - off
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