Bored bored bored

God! I am so bored.

I am currently in a period of my life where i am not working (i am not a state sponger either, although now i regret not getting what i could from them) I have worked the odd day here and there (i get a lot when i do work these days) plus a weeks work in Saudi Arabia which i wouldn't exchange for anything (well, most things) and really, as far as material things go i want for nothing. I have a beautiful girlfriend (not that she is a material thing, this is just the start of the list and she is the most important), more clothes and trainers than most women, a 42 inch cock (i mean plasma telly) and a denon surround sound system. I have money in the bank, (although this is fading faster than Barrymore's career did) but i am not happy.

Sick i know. What a spoilt cunt!

It is all career based problems. I have worked in performance since i was a little kid and have just not really had the break that i am looking for. I some senses it is going well, moved to london, got into drama school, graduated, got an agent, got work, lost agent, got another agent etc. Some people cant get into drama school, others that do cant get an agent, others that do cant get work. It could be worse, but it is not good enough. I want to meet the big wigs of this business. I want to work in brilliant films and great TV (there is still some) and to do this i need another agent. Is 3 agents in 4 years too many? Probably. I just know that i will not be satisfied until i start achieving these things and am not prepared to just fucking sit around waiting for her to get me another shit audition.

The way most people get agents is either by being good in something and therefor been commercially viable and therefor investable so you can have your pick of agents, often regardless of genuine talent or experience. Another way is to be plucked from a show or drama school for your ability (must be nice). The final and most demoralising way is to write letters. Some idiots write "dear Sir/ madam" letters which apparently get binned on sight as the writer clearly couldn't even be bothered to find out the correct agents name. Once you have bought nice paper, printer ink, hard backed envelopes, stamps, reproductions of your photo, and sat and personalised 100 letters, which obviously takes a lot of time and thought, you have spent on the way to £150. Doing this and thinking, knowing, in the back of your mind that you will more than likely be ignored completely or have your letter binned is disheartening to say the least. Even if you do get a response it is often in the vain of "currently not accepting any more clients" or the very best response you might get, seriously this is good, "please let us know when you are appearing in something" - HOW CAN I APPEAR IN SOMETHING WHEN I DONT HAVE A FUCKING AGENT --can't get an agent, can't get seen for decent jobs. Vicious circle

It really leaves me no further on having written this. I just wanted to vent in a semi anonymous way and to have anyone who cares understand that being an actor definitely ain't all about glamour!

Good luck you poker playing sickos