Hey?? Whats that you say?? Are you talkin' to me? Are you saying i'm the shittest poker player on the planet??

Oh you are...


Well in that case, i have to concede.

What the Christ on a bastard has gone on today? I have played 9 sngs at the heady heights of $3 (+25c) and have lost 6, won one and come second in one. Here is a quick lowdown of what went down as best as i care to recall. I'll review it as i write it and see how bad i truly am.

1st -
Place - 4th of 6 - i flopped top pr (10) and didn't believe some monkey called me all along w ace 9 (no pr) and rivered a straight - the 4 straight was on the board but i didn't lay it down after betting flop turn and getting small raised on the river -
final hand - shoved A6 into AQ
out

2nd -
4th of 6
notes on 1 player - loose caller-note says calls raises wahey too much

me kk limped in first no raisers- damn - flop dangerous w J98 - i bet it he calls - i think J9 worst scenario - turn 9 - i bet he calls - i think now his JJ 99 is behind to my KK 99 - river 9 - i bet he moves all in - i call as the poss flopped straight is now irrelevant as my FH would beat it - he shows J9 for runner runner Quads- what a cunt- i have 300 left - bb 30 not doomed - move all in w decent aces and no calls - find 88 on the button - sb calls with 33 - nice - later - everyone limps i find KK in the bb - all in suspecting someone to call - same player does with the unknown "special" hand of Q5 suited. Nice - later push on the button w A8s - call from KJ off - my hand holds and we're back. Final hand - me KK in the bb - 2 limpers - raise 3x - button calls - flop 878 - i bet - he calls - turn J - i check raise all in he calls w Q8 - obviously
out

3rd -
5th of 6 - wtf is going on - im cursed because i said id be ok at this level
basically raised his Ak into my call with KQ suited - K high flop did me - i kept pushing decent holdings till i move in position with K9s and got called w AA

4th -
1st of 6
awesome game and good cards -
me raise pre with QJ suited - bet out on a AJx flop- opponent calls - we check it down he has 66
another player limps - i raise QJs he calls from behind - flop gives me flush draw and 2 overs - i bet he check calls turn blank - i bet he calls - river Q - i bet he calls and mucks
same player - i raised sb - KK - he reraises after limping- i think (ha) and reraise less than half his short stack - he reraises again leaving 30 chips (hmmm) - i put him all in he calls shows Q10os

down to HU with the 66 player - he was making some bad calls but had got more chips than me through other players- one hand i was holding J10 and reraised a Q high flop continuation bet which he called - his fast cont bet indicated he had missed - turn was a J, pairing me - i moved all in - he called with A10 -gutshot straight draw which missed - i knew i just had to be patient - trapping him a few times- raising with him folding - i could tell he was frustrated - final hand - I raise button w AKos - he reraises all in - i call he shows K4s - i LOL - only for a short time though when the turn is a 4 - have the last laugh when the river is an A- hooray

5th and 6th - you know in war movies where there are insane battle scenes where noone knows what the fuck is going on its just absolute carnage. That is what happened in these games only with cards instead of guns and chips instead of bullets. There was blood as i had a nose bleed so it was quite realistic. (that last part was a lie)

7th
2nd of 6
Called a raise on the button w 66 - flopped a set on a low flop - i raised opps bet on the flop he moved all in with 1010 nice -
I got low again and raised all in with 1010 - big stack doubled me up after calling with 89 off suit. Heads up i lost after limping the button hoping to trap with A8 suited - he obliged by raising and i movea all in he called w K10 - flop AJx giving me top pair - turn Q making his straight.

8th
erm of 6
Not sure what went on here. I lost some chips early on after raising legitimate hands in good position and have to let them go on the flop after not connecting and receiving heat from other players. I was clearly frustrated as i lost the rest with 2nd pair no kicker against a flopped straight on a single suit flop. That was truly the play of a retard and i didn't care. I may as well have been slamming the keyboard with a hammer and enjoying the random outcomes that created.

9th
2nd of 6
Should have definitely won this one - Down to 3 handed i take a huge lead after re raising with JJ and my opponent moves all in with A8off.
Heads up i am nailing my weak weak weak opponent. He is literally dripping chips and it is just a matter of time. At the peak i think i have 7k to his 2k. He is the kind of player that folds his sb voluntarily and hid bb to a raise. Every 3 - 9 hands he moves all in at which point i fold. He is on the ropes and we both know it. Then this happens. He moves all in and i call with A9off suit - he wins with A10 off suit - later i raise with Q10 suited he moves all in - not too much more to call - he has KK - later he limps and i move all in with J8 suited he calls with 99 - the only vaguely real play he has made all day - he takes the lead - he raises - i push all in w 22 - he calls w A9 suited flops the flush draw with his 2 overs still live and flushes on the river - now i just want to kill myself and push all in from the sb J9 - he insta calls with 55 - flop is a Jack - hooray - the turn gives him the 4 flush and the river gives him a set. I'm done in second. Grrrrrrrrrr!

Looking at the results its safe to say i am bad. But here is the thing - i don't think i played all that bad - in 3 of the games i have a hazy recollection - that is enough for me to think that - if in 3 out of 9 games i played that bad i was out before i know whats going on then that is way too many. I should have won both games where i came second and odds dictate that more often than not i would have won. In another 2 games i did a lot of chips with KK when someone caught a very lucky flop and lost to another outdraw. This is slightly encouraging as i may not have lost these the majority of the time.

I will say this though, i know for a fact that i need to fold more. I like to play a lot of flops but i need to be more conservative with the amounts i am paying to play them either raising with substandard hands or calling after limping and catching just enough to do me in.

I will work on this for next time.

Just watched

1)The Football Factory- http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0385705/ - Quite good - but not as good as
2)Goodbye Charlie Bright- http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0217824/- by the same director Nick Love - his first film and really worth watching
and completing the violent british film day is
3)Essex Boys- http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0191996/ - this was recommended to me to watch for Sean Bean's performance as i am not really a fan. I have to say though that i really enjoyed the film and his performance. If only he had escaped his "Northerness" that much for The Lord of the Rings. "Ya can't just walk int't Mordor"